Filed under: Comment
So I’ve been doing this planning lark for a long time.
And while it is very un-British of me to say, I think I am pretty good at it.
Not as good as some … like the people I know who have never been planners before and yet suddenly get a job in an agency as the head of the department, but good all the same.
While I’ve had my fair share of accolades over the years, I recently saw something on Linkedin that made me think, “I’ve made it”.
Can you see what it is?
It’s that thing on the far right hand side of the page.
The one with the headline, ‘Are You A Head of Planning?’
This might help:
Yes, I know I’ve had my fair share of weird experiences with Linkedin in the past, and I also know that the brain tends to dismiss reality when it is being complimented, but I’m a head of planning so it must be targeted at me, which means I – little ol’ Rob Campbell from Nottingham – has the chance to be in the ‘Who’s Who’ book of Bristol.
Yes, Bristol.
Fucking Bristol.
Putting aside the fact the Who’s Who is a massive money making con and the only people who go in it are ego-maniacs with low self-esteem, who the hell would want to be in the Bristol edition except for someone who lives in Bristol?
Even then, who from Bristol would want to be in a book featuring countless other ego-maniac/low self-esteem individuals who all have weird accents and evaluate ‘success’ by how many times they’ve crossed over the Clifton Suspension Bridge in the last month.
Look, my ego could put Bono to shame and my low self-esteem would keep a psychiatrist in business for decades, but even I wouldn’t want to be in this. Believe it or not, I wouldn’t want to be in the Nottingham edition either [though I might give it 0.2 seconds more consideration than I gave this] … which basically highlights 3 problems with digital :
1. Digital marketing is not as precise as many like to claim.
[Yes, it’s better than most of the ‘old approaches’, but it’s still got a shitload of flaws in it, of which one is that we now have so much quality data available to us, it has become harder to distinguish between what can give us answers and what will throw us off the scent]
2. Big Data should be renamed Broad Data.
3. Linkedin really do hate me.
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Bright side. It’s not the Luton edition.
Comment by George April 23, 2015 @ 6:26 amhe doesnt deserve to even be in that pile of shite.
Comment by andy@cynic April 23, 2015 @ 6:40 amThank you Mr Positive … though the reality is that they probably passed on my possible inclusion.
Comment by Rob April 23, 2015 @ 8:07 amThe only thing planners deserve to be seen in is jail.
Comment by Billy Whizz April 23, 2015 @ 6:33 amyoure being far too fucking generous.
Comment by andy@cynic April 23, 2015 @ 6:41 amThat would be less embarrassing than being seen in the Bristol edition of Who’s Who.
Comment by Rob April 23, 2015 @ 8:08 amOr being seen inside a sheep.
Comment by DH April 23, 2015 @ 8:20 amBut I now like linkedin more.
Comment by Billy Whizz April 23, 2015 @ 6:35 amme too. funnier than a german fucking accountant working at wpp.
Comment by andy@cynic April 23, 2015 @ 6:44 ameveryone wait a fucking minute. even though the who who con bastards would let hitler in if he coughed up enough cash, theyre only saying campbell can check if hes eligible for inclusion. seems even thieving publishing scammers have some fucking taste.
Comment by andy@cynic April 23, 2015 @ 6:49 amGood point. That’s almost a relief.
I think appearing in Who’s Who says the same thing as having personalised numberplates. You’re a sad bastard.
Comment by Rob April 23, 2015 @ 8:08 amsame as having a personalised fucking bike?
Comment by andy@cynic April 23, 2015 @ 8:59 amIt’s not a personalised bike. It’s a custom build … there’s a world of difference between the two and I’m sticking with that excuse.
Comment by Rob April 23, 2015 @ 9:21 amWell you are a regional head, so the algorithm wasn’t that far off.
Comment by John April 23, 2015 @ 6:50 amHas anyone ever found linkedin useful?
Comment by Bazza April 23, 2015 @ 8:00 amOnly for headhunters to look like they’re doing their job but are even lazier than the average head of planning.
Comment by Rob April 23, 2015 @ 8:09 amCongratulations Robert. Even being considered is an accolade. Keep telling yourself that.
Comment by Lee Hill April 23, 2015 @ 8:12 amGold. *applause*
Comment by DH April 23, 2015 @ 8:19 amlee goes motherfuckingbadass.
Comment by andy@cynic April 23, 2015 @ 8:58 amThanks Lee. Thanks a lot. [For nothing]
Comment by Rob April 23, 2015 @ 9:20 amLee FTW
Comment by Billy Whizz April 23, 2015 @ 9:43 amJust attempting to fit in Robert.
Comment by Lee Hill April 23, 2015 @ 12:11 pmI am going to invite you to speak at a conference. The deal is you have to talk about why big data should be renamed broad data. To encourage you to say yes, I’ll tell you that Linkedin will be in attendance.
Comment by Pete April 23, 2015 @ 9:37 pmAs if Rob needs an excuse to speak at a conference. We need an excuse for him not to speak at a conference.
Comment by DH April 23, 2015 @ 10:04 pmYou should make him do it via the medium of Minecraft. Otherwise, we should all just agree there is only one type of data and it’s called data. Most people are innumerate and thus don’t have the first idea about what it means so there’s really no need to wang on about big and broad.
Comment by John April 24, 2015 @ 5:05 amI agree with you John, but there is mass blinkered thinking going on and I think it would be fun to have Rob come along and burst their collective bubble.
Comment by Pete April 24, 2015 @ 6:02 am