The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Goodbye Mr Gorgeous …
June 20, 2014, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

So today, after 3 years, we wave goodbye to the wonderful Tom Suharto.

Well, not goodbye – as we’re moving him to Portland to work on NIKE – but certainly au revoir.

Tom is a very special person.

I don’t mean because of his planning chops – though obviously they’re excellent – but because apart from being related to Indonesian royalty [which he never fails to mention, closely followed by an explanation that he is not associated with THAT Suharto], he is basically the most perfect man in the entire universe.

No, seriously, he is.

It’s not just that he possesses dashing looks.

It’s not just that he’s incredibly smart and articulate.

It’s not even that he created his own ‘pollution app’ and now views himself as a ‘developer’.

No … the reason he is so special is because he has a gorgeous wife, a darling son and cute puppy so when they’re all together, they basically represent the sort of ‘perfect family’ that every US television show dreams of casting.

Never a hair out of place.

Never a piece of spinach in their teeth.

Never any sign of crying, barking or arguing.

Frankly they should all make me feel utterly, utterly sick.

But they don’t.

Because they’re wonderful.

And I’m going to miss them all terribly.


Tom, thank you for absolutely everything.

You came in as a person with no planning experience whatsoever and thanks to me teaching you to do the opposite of everything I do, you leave with a wealth of knowledge and experience that sets you apart from the crowd.

Which means basically I made you.

And you owe me.

But I’m not going to ask for money – oh no – all I ask in return is you stay exactly as you are, because you’re a great person and a great professional.

I’ll miss you. But I’ll also make sure I make your life a misery by booking meetings in your calendar then cancelling them – just so you get an email. Which I know drives you mad.

And while we wave goodbye to a wonderful colleague … someone who made a massive difference to this department and office … I will deal with the pain of your departure by remembering that for all your perfection, I still saw the one moment in your life that you let your ‘perfect’ guard down and allowed me to capture this.

Be well my friend. Thank you for everything and I hope you enjoy your leaving pressie.

And of course our additional gift of your first ever tattoo.

[Before, During, After]

Hey, just making sure you can never forget us … even if you wanted to.

19 Comments so far
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fucking hell. i dont know whats more pathetic, this or englands fucking shit defence.

Comment by andy@cynic

Finally the England team win something.

Comment by DH

Definitely the English defence. I was happy for Rooney – you could see how much that goal meant for him and he worked his socks off – but overall, the team were poor in comparison to the game against Italy which means the thing I hoped for in yesterdays post, won’t come true and they are in for a torrid time from the press.

Comment by Rob

Am I supposed to understand what that means?

Comment by Billy Whizz

dont get too fucking cocky indonesian tom. you might believe youve escaped from the fucker but i thought that once too and he has managed to hang around like a fly around shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh yes. Why do you think we got him a tattoo and a toilet seat. Even when we’re not in Portland, we’ll be in Portland.

Comment by Rob

I’m pretty sure this post qualifies as sexual harrasment.

Comment by DH

Don’t worry, he can take it. Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

Is the threat of writing another post like this your retention strategy for your other planning team members?

Comment by DH

It’s called devious strategy. I wrote about it a while back … I’m just putting it into practice.

Comment by Rob

As I am sure Tom knows, Robert is a kind, supportive and generous man, with a large splash of mischief thrown in the mix. Nice work Robert. Congratulations Tom.

Comment by George

The need for an app that details air pollution balances the incredible amount of national holidays that you receive in China.

Comment by George

The pollution comes from Rob’s planning documents.

Comment by DH

Yes … it’s one of those things no one understands unless you live here. That said, Shanghai is generally OK [otherwise, let’s face it, we wouldn’t be having a baby here] it’s Beijing and further North that is a bloody weapon of mass destruction.

Comment by Rob

Perfectly put George.

Comment by Lee Hill

Get a room. Tom won’t be there but get a room and lock yourself in.

Comment by Billy Whizz

You really got him a tattoo and a toilet seat? You crazy advertising types.

Comment by Wayne Green

Hope all goes well for his family in Portland.
I would say he’ll miss you and your guidance, but as you are never there, he’s probably wondering why this stranger is writing homoerotic prose in his general direction.

Comment by Northern

He’s probably used to it. He’s that good looking.

Comment by Rob

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