The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Flying Backwards …
March 31, 2014, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

It’s Monday, our favourite day of the week.

But don’t get too downhearted, because as I said on Friday, I’m currently flying back to Singapore which means this is all I could be bothered to write for today.

Consider it my gift to you.

The bad news? It all goes back to normal tomorrow.

And by normal, I mean terrible. But you knew that already.

There is some even worse news … at least for me.

You see I’ll be flying to Singapore on a Boeing 777, the same plane that tragically went missing recently.

Worse, I’m also flying back on a 777, on pretty much the same route, at pretty much the same time as the lost MH370 and I have to admit, it’s freaking me out a little bit. I know there is absolutely no reason to connect the two situations, but my brain is still making me think about it – which shows how we are ruled by our emotions.

That said, it’s not as bad as the time I was flying from Rio to Paris on Air France when I read in the paper that the black box of the Air France plane that had crashed on it’s way to Pairs from Rio, 2 years earlier, had finally been found.

There I was, hurtling through the air at 30,000 feet when I realised that I was on the exact flight, airline, route and time as the one that had crashed a few years earlier. I went to the toilet a lot that flight, especially after every bump of turbulence.

For someone who flies a lot, I seem to have a lot of incidents on planes … from being accused of being a stowaway to standing on an elderly Japanese man’s testicles to being woken up by a drunk Irish woman scratching my face for supposedly kidnapping her husband. I suppose if my incidents are those rather than ones requiring international rescue, I’m OK with that.

Jesus, I’m making myself a nervous wreck, so until [hopefully] tomorrow …

21 Comments so far
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Holiday. $10k please.

Comment by DH

It’s not a bloody holiday. I’m flying in an out in 36 hours … even I can’t do much gadget buying in that time.

But I can do some at the airport … ha!

Comment by Rob

And what about the time you screamed “the engines have stopped” in the middle of the night after you had a bad dream and scared half the plane to death. This is why I will never fly with you again.

Comment by DH

Or the time he had his phone stolen out of his bag while he slept. We didn’t hear the end of that one for weeks.

Comment by Bazza

Yes, I’m a flying nightmare but the “the engines have stopped” was particularly bad because I thought the passenger next to me was going to have a heart attack.

I – on the other hand – just turned over and went back to sleep.

Comment by Rob

then theres the time the fucker started singing at force 10 volume in the middle of heathrow airport because he had his headphones on and thought he was actually singing in his head. i almost fucking wet myself when i saw how fucking red he went as the whole airport looked on in shock before pointing and laughing their fucking heads off.

Comment by andy@cynic

You cannot be trusted to be left on your own.

Comment by Lee Hill

Your plane trips are legendary Rob. I’m wondering what happened on your last flight because I saw this on your instagram.

Comment by Pete

The cop is smiling because he’s thinking of the promotion he’s going to get for banning Campbell for good.

Comment by DH

Arrested again Rob?

Comment by Bazza

That was a moment of utter stupidity where I inadvertently closed part of the airport off by forgetting my bag for 45 mins.

When I realised, that part of the airport had been closed off and there were 15 Police/Guards/Airport People there … looking at the contents of my bag [Beats Headphones, 2 Wifi-Plugs and a notepad] trying to work out whether it was a bomb or just the possessions of an idiot.

They worked it out as soon as they saw me.

Comment by Rob

you fucking fuckwit. at least you gave the police something to do. those fuckers have the easiest job in the fucking world.

Comment by andy@cynic

I once flew from San Francisco to Tokyo ( a 12 hour flight) sat next to an elderly Japanese bloke who farted non-stop for the entire flight. Besides that, I’ve been in THREE plane crashes!!! So, don’t be such a fucking wimp.
Cheers/George “AdScam” Parker

Comment by adscamgeorge

We all know you’re more of a man than Rob. But then so is a cabbage patch doll.

Comment by DH

3 plane crashes? Remind me to never fly with you either.

Comment by DH

Three plane crashes! Jesus, were you in a war zone or something?

And can we stop about plane crashes when I’m just about to get one one please. Thank you.

Comment by Rob

Best of luck getting home safe. If anything happens to you I get the R2 D2 projector thing

Comment by northern

Bad news is I’ve just landed safely but there’s still a return flight to have and if it all goes tita up, you can have it. But you have to pay for the shipping – it’s in the US right now. Apparently. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Actually Robert, when we sold the company, the assets went with it and R2 was listed as an asset. By suggesting Northern can have it means you intend to commit a criminal act and I am not sure “you can take the boy out of Nottingham but you can’t take Nottingham out of the boy” will be a sound legal defence strategy. Sorry Northern.

Comment by George

What about diminished responsibility? Or no responsibility?

Comment by DH

The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away

Comment by northern

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