Filed under: Comment
Yes I’m back.
Yes, you can say I had a mini-holiday type of thing.
Yes, I know that makes my blog post of a couple of weeks ago utterly rubbish [or more rubbish than usual] so just get over it.
Anyway, let’s get on with some more rubbish shall we?
Please?
Well screw you, I’m going to anyway.
I am not sure if you have noticed, but this blog is full of piss, vinegar, insults and ranting.
Sure, you lot contribute 75% of those attributes, but it’s still a fact.
Because of this, I thought I’d up the game a little bit by adding a dash of sophistication.
Yes, this blog is going posh. [Sort-of. Temporarily]
How? Well recently I was reading The Times newspaper and spotted a letter that I thought was worthy of sharing.
Yes, I know I’m the sort of person The Times would rather NOT read their paper, but as far as I know, it’s still a free country and I’ll read what I want thank-you-very-much.
Anyway, amongst all the self important ranting – the sort of self-important ranting that makes this blog look like calmness personified [albeit from the Jeremy Kyle school of intellectualism] – I spotted a letter that, in just a couple of lines, managed to capture the best of English humour and character at the same time.
To The Times
Vienna may well be the city with the best quality of living in the world (“Spluttering London lags behind in global race”, 19 Feb), but before everyone moves here they should know that my thrice-weekly rubbish collection was 20 minutes late today.
Dr John Doherty, Vienna
Brilliant.
Yes, I know it has nothing to do with anything, but it made me smile and given it’s a Monday, we need all the positivity we can get … especially as tomorrow this blog returns to rubbish.
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Sir –
it has been brought to my attention that prominent bloggers situated on the Shanghai Peninsula have been shirking their rigorous schedule of holidays in favour of berating an innocent and long suffering readership on subjects that include, but are not limited to, matters of waste disposal in Austria’s capital city.
Can such a thing continue? Is this the end, or only the beginning of an inexorable slide into depravity?
Yours intolerably etc.
Comment by Exasperated of Worchester March 17, 2014 @ 6:43 amDear exasperated of worcester. It’s neither the beginning or end it’s just business as usual. I share your dismay.
Comment by DH March 17, 2014 @ 6:46 amDear Exasperated of Worcester. Sorry. I wish I could say it won’t happen again but it will.
I also think you meant to write ‘Australia’ rather than ‘Austria’ but given the amount of mistakes I make on here, I’m willing to let it pass.
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 7:58 amAh – my mistake. I was thinking of Canberra, waltz capital of the Austro-Hungarian empire.
Comment by Exasperated of Worchester March 17, 2014 @ 6:16 pmCanberra isn’t the capital of anything worth being the capital of. Even Australia doesn’t think it’s the capital they deserve … though I won’t go into what they deserve given my wife is one of them.
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 6:17 pmThe good news:
This post represents you perfectly, it’s as underwhelming as your return.
The bad news:
I enjoy reading Dr John Doherty of Vienna’s letters much more than your posts.
Welcome back, I’m off to get pissed like an irishman.
Comment by DH March 17, 2014 @ 6:44 amYou know how much I hate it when people with no Irish heritage claim to be Irish on St Paddy’s day. By all means celebrate it, but don’t claim you’re Irish because you like potatoes and whisky. Yes, that’s you Dave and approx 49% of the American population.
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 7:57 amYou crazy boring bollocktalking brits.
Comment by Billy Whizz March 17, 2014 @ 7:01 amWhen’s the next holiday? I can’t stand too much of this.
Comment by Billy Whizz March 17, 2014 @ 7:02 amMy guess: friday.
Comment by DH March 17, 2014 @ 7:09 amDepending on your definition of holiday, you could say it’s next Wednesday though from my perspective, it’s work and that is what I will be putting on my timesheet. Oh yes.
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 8:01 amIt will definitely be a holiday.
Comment by Bazza March 17, 2014 @ 8:25 amProving that old adage that you can’t please everyone….
Comment by Cathy746books March 17, 2014 @ 7:12 amIn Rob’s defense.. he never pleased anyone to start with, so don’t knock the blog, writer or inconsistent publishing due to an absurd amount of holidays that even China’s princelings can’t match…
Comment by niko March 17, 2014 @ 7:27 amI was referring to Dr John Doherty…
Comment by Cathy746books March 17, 2014 @ 7:45 amThank you for leaping to my defence with the best back-handed compliment I’ve seen in a long time Niko. It’s also great to have you back.
As for Cathy746books. Welcome, I think.
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 8:02 amI once had to work with a team of Germans we had to do sit down to understand why it was all going to hell
Comment by Northern March 17, 2014 @ 8:01 amTurns out they didn’t get irony and thought we meant what we said and we expected them to get subtle hints
While they pissed us off for being totally honest
Why are you awake? And more importantly, were your ears burning last Friday?
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 8:02 amEh? Who’s been slagging me off now ?
Comment by Northern March 17, 2014 @ 2:02 pmAnd I’m working it’s not just air kisses and Pinot Grigio in media you know
No one was slagging you off, I was talking to Lesley. Oh, now I come to think of it …
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 3:14 pmShe’s lovely
Comment by Northern March 17, 2014 @ 5:31 pmYes, she’s good at giving that impression.
Comment by Rob March 17, 2014 @ 6:17 pmI have chosen to ignore all the negative comments because it takes a special writer to capture wit and smugness in parallel. An enjoyable start to my day. Welcome back Robert.
Comment by Lee Hill March 17, 2014 @ 10:11 pmi started to panic when i liked this post. i was shitting myself id missed you then I realised i liked it because it was basically written by someone else and it had fuck all to do with you or this blog. thank fuck.
Comment by andy@cynic March 18, 2014 @ 5:54 am