The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Marketing Gone Mad …
July 30, 2013, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

Maybe there is such a thing as a Barista standard cup.

Maybe it’s to do with volume or heat proficiency.

Maybe it’s about using materials that don’t taint the flavour of the coffee.

Maybe it’s for reasons people with my limited knowledge of coffee could never understand.

Maybe it’s because they have research that shows travelers don’t want to be taken for a ride when visiting a cafe in a new country and the easiest way to say ‘Don’t Mess With Me’ is walking in with a Barista-approved mug.

Maybe they read in a business magazine that mid-level execs who can’t afford a Halliburton Zero suitcase are desperately looking for other ways to show their international colleagues they have status and discernment.

Maybe they discovered there’s an enormous amount of passengers who like adding bulky, high-end, coffee cups in their carry-on luggage just before they take-off.

Maybe it’s because 90% of Barista’s are pretentious pricks who want to delude themselves they’re of a higher status than other waiters and servers that work in cafes and restaurants around the World.

Whatever it is, it might be more valuable or believable if the cafe selling this had some sort of credibility in the art of coffee making as opposed to being an airport coffee shop that sells overpriced Danish buns and burnt Nescafe.

21 Comments so far
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But it’s branded utility. And our marketing director came back from a conference saying that branded utility is the future.

Comment by John

That sounds so scarily realistic that I’m wondering if you are the marketing director.

Comment by DH

I don’t get invited to conferences.

Comment by John

No, but you turn up to them all the same don’t you.

Comment by Rob

It looks like a fucking shell that the 1986 Arnie would use in his grenade launcher to kill the commies. I’d buy one.

Comment by Billy Whizz

I like danish buns. Especially when they’re female, about 18 and packed into a pair of tight denim shorts

Comment by Billy Whizz

about 18?

Comment by niko

jimmys cousin.

Comment by andy@cynic

When did everyone on here suddenly become respectable citizens of the world?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Around the time you publically outed your perverted self Billy.

Comment by Rob

the act of great fucking coffee? like acting? like fake fucks? like adland. the adland of great coffee. thats more fucking believable.

Comment by andy@cynic

And barista standard is one of those phrases that sounds meaningful but actually isn’t. Unless they want you to interpret it as “standard cup” and I don’t suppose they do.

Comment by John

Yes, that’s a great point.

The whole industry is full of them – terms that, at best, are posh sounding versions of what is already there or, at worst, a complete load of bollocks designed to fleece.

I remember Jill once was doing some work for a branding company and they asked if she would join a brain conference. She asked what it was and the guy smugly said …

“it was where people got in a room and debated creative territories” to which my wonderful wife looked at them and said …

“Oh you mean a conversation”.

Comment by Rob

and whats all this world first shit? starfucks has tons of that wank. cocks.

Comment by andy@cynic

“People purchase KeepCups because they love the way they look and feel, and continue doing so because they form a positive habit. For many of our customers it has been the beginning of a journey to reduce the consequences of convenience behavior. Feel good. Do good.”

Location, location, location.

Comment by John

Where the hell did you find this?

Please tell me it didn’t come from you.

Comment by Rob

I think you will find all the information here Robert.

In my opinion, your viewpoint still stands.

Comment by Lee Hill

Comment by John

Barista is code for wankers.

Comment by DH

Amusing write up Rob. This is bad marketing and planning by no other name.

Comment by Pete

Mind you,m I rode 30 miles this morning and was so knackered, in a moment of weakness, I bought some Costa coffee from a machine in a service station on the drive to work after.
I bet Costa are raking it in because some bright spark has a proper business idea – ie distribution, aligned with the fact that no one in the UK has any idea what barista coffee actually tastes like.

Comment by northern

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