The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Proof Apple Are Not Cool Anymore …
October 22, 2012, 6:33 am
Filed under: Comment

Because I’m a sad fuck, I went out and got an iPhone 5 as soon as it came out.

I wish I hadn’t.

Not just because it’s not as good – at least in physical build – as the iPhone 4/4S.

Not just because it has the World’s shittest battery life.

Not just because I’ve been writing for years how I have thought Apple were a shadow of what they used to be, especially in terms of audience understanding and innovation.

But mainly because of this:

What the above photo shows, is the ‘explanation screen’ in the iPhone 5 that explains how to best use Siri, their voice operated “assistant”.

Please note point 2:

“Note to self: Check out that new Norah Jones album”




OK, so apart from the music in some of their original iPod ads – especially the one written by my wife’s cousin – Apple have always had a terrible taste in music [Exhibit A: The U2 iPhone, the worst selling iPhone in their history], but Norah Jones?


Seriously, for anyone that hates me for liking early Queen, even you have got to admit Snorer Jones is worse than Freddie and the gang.

And yet Apple felt this was OK to put in their iPhone.

Seriously, this is worse than the last two iPhones basically being the same product and suddenly makes Samsung’s rather contrived and heavy handed ‘iPhones for the old & sheep generation‘ ad, look kinda accurate.

For God’s sake Apple, sort yourself out.

It’s bad enough you have to contend with me having your products without you contributing to the image of being the parent who dances at the school disco.

Bazza, you have a lot of explaining to do – or was this in your “shall I join Facebook or shall I stay here?” phase?

28 Comments so far
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In the interests of our friendship, I will ignore the needless insult throwing and simply point out Norah Jones was one of Steve Job’s favorite artists. She even played at his memorial. She’s not my taste, but neither are Queen.

Comment by Bazza

friendship? have you lost your fucking mind?

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes Andy, I think Baz has lost his mind … probably from trying to fix iMaps so it makes a modicum of sense.

Comment by Rob

Maybe you hate the new iphone because you had to pay for it for once.

Comment by DH

too fucking right. hell fucking hate flying virgin atlantic next. oh my bad. the fucker never has to pay for virgin fucking atlantic flights does he lee.

Comment by andy@cynic

Bitter jealousy suits you Andy.

Comment by Rob

I like how insulting Apple got Baz to be the first to respond. Good to know he reacts to fear and personal attack. He should be in congress.

Comment by DH

Didn’t Jobs like Coldplay as well?

That should be the message Samsung put out. They’d never have to spend mobey on time to load their phone with needless features anymore, not being Norah and Chris Martin fans would be enough.

PS sorry Bazza. Can I have a freebie?

Comment by DH

mobey? do you mean money or that bald annoying twat campbell sometimes looks like?

Comment by andy@cynic

Money. As for Moby and Rob, both are as annoying as each other.

Comment by DH

One post. Four shit bands. It could only happen on this blog.

And why hasn’t that siri shit got a name like a real personal assistant. Like Sarah or Elizabeth? Siri is a shit name. Sounds like some new age bitch who would refuse to fetch me coffee, donuts and drugs because they’re bad for her or some other shit excuse.

Comment by Billy Whizz October 22, 2012 @ 7:08 am

Comment by Billy Whizz

spoken like a true man stuck in the 1950s.

who never fucking got married.

Comment by andy@cynic

whats the fucking betting samsung launch a phone that says “note to self: check out that new fiona apple album”

Comment by andy@cynic

Impressive insulting. You are the king.

Comment by Rob

emperor thank you very fucking much.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m not sure what is worse. Apple thinking Norah Jones is credible or the fact I agree with Rob on anything to do with music.
But then again, I quite like the Girls Aloud single, and that’s even without seeing the video

Comment by northern

You like the Girls Aloud single, sans video?

You’ll be wearing a cardigan next, clapping slightly out of tune and announcing to anyone nearby that this has a “nice beat”. I’m scared Northern – especially after you wrote a post with Queen in it.

Comment by Rob

I know I know. It’d being forced to listen to Will’s Julia Donaldson CDs in the car. everything is off kilter.
I’ll be saying Media Arts is a great tool for unlocking brilliant ideas next.
Thank God I’m experiencing an agency rebrand run by the chairman’s wife, the rage at the complacency, self indulgence and sheer lunacy is bringing much needed energy. Would you believe she told me off for not drinking my tea from an agency branded mug?

Comment by northern

are you fucking serious groper? if you are, film it, you could make a fortune flogging it as “this is spinal tap: the ad agency edition”.

suddenly media arts doesnt look so fucking tragic does it? actually, yes it fucking does.

Comment by andy@cynic

I am sadly very serious.
What’s worse, it all looks like a rip off of a New Order album cover
It would be funny if I didn’t work here

Comment by northern

ill look out for your new job at the telesales company any fucking day now then. funny how agencies preach one thing and do absofuckinglutely the opposite time and time afuckingain.

put some laxatives in her tea, keep the unqualified fucker away from you for a few weeks. thats what id do. actually id burn the fucking place down but northerners arent as tough as they used to be, are they mr “queen arent as bad as i thought” groper.

Comment by andy@cynic

it really is fucking tragic. you could be the new matt beaumont if you wrote about it. ceo wife takes command. youporn in meetings. tea arguments. its got best seller written all over it. or at least medium seller.

Comment by andy@cynic

Funny you should say that

Comment by northern

Seriously, Robert. Seriously.

Comment by Marcus

have you aged 50 years or something? condescending shit is doddsys bag, not yours.

Comment by andy@cynic

After a Saturday of of pretending to be Woody from Toy Story while trying to control 10 little cowboys and space rangers, not mention break up a majoy jelly and ice cream fight, I’ve certainly aged 50 years.

Comment by northern


Comment by Marcus

At least it’s better than Coldplay, just.

I think the funny thing is that the update from 4 to 4s was arguably bigger than from 4s to 5, but the perceptive change of the bigger screen has made people see it as more of a change. What really annoyed some people is that they couldn’t show people they had the NEW apple phone, hence why the white one sold in droves.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

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