The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Mum Comes To Town …
May 10, 2011, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

This is an exciting week for me.

I go on holiday, see Forest [hopefully, but doubtfully] win their first playoff match against Swansea and then bring my Mum to China.

It’s also an exciting week for you because as of today, this is a blog bollocks free zone for almost 3 weeks.


Don’t say I don’t spoil you.

Anyway, of all these things, the one I’m excited about the most is my Mum’s visit.

I’m excited because she gets to see where I live … I’m excited because I get to show her around … I’m excited because I get to spoil her … but most of all, I’m excited because I’m going to see her.

I love my Mum.

She is a wonderful and inspirational woman.

She has put up with my tantrums, moods and hair-brained schemes as well as supported my ideas, ambitions and hair-brained scheme.

She [and Dad] let me ‘believe’ in the possibilities I wanted for my life as well as assure me that I’d be looked after if it failed.

OK, they didn’t exactly want me to fail … and I certainly tested their patience on a number of matters … but at the end of the day, their goal was for me to feel happy and that is a gift that I only have started to appreciate.

I should point out that their liberal attitude didn’t extend to me being able to sit on my ass and do nothing … I had to earn their trust … but at the major crossroads in my life, where each choice would have major ramifications, they always backed me – even when it meant that I would be turning my back on things that they secretly [and in my Dad’s case] and not so secretly wished I’d do.

So here she is, at 78 coming to China.


OK, so I’m her only son and my friends at Virgin Atlantic are going to look after her … however it’s still a pretty big thing for a lady of her years to do and given there’s a shitload of people who complain about 5 hour flights or going “to the East” I love that she gives them all the [metaphorical] finger.

I’ve said it before, my Mum wants to prove people wrong.

She does not want to be defined by age.

That doesn’t mean she wears clothes for 30 year olds or listens to hip hop, it means she wants to be relevant to the times – so things like technology and travel aren’t to be feared, but embraced.

She wants to know what is going on in her community, country and World – from news to culture – and she will view them with an open mind and accept that even if she doesn’t like something, it’s not wrong – it’s just a choice and a matter of taste.

She doesn’t judge … she doesn’t discriminate … she doesn’t make excuses.

She is a woman who has given the World so much and still wants to contribute and learn and quite frankly, she represents an attitude that would not only benefit us all individually, but on a bigger scale … so that’s why the next few weeks are going to be so great, because I’m going to be with my Mum, the greatest Mum in the whole wide World.

Back 30th May.

59 Comments so far
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thank you mrs c for being so selfless and taking your son out of blog action for the rest of us. our thoughts and prayers are with you and if you werent up for saint status before, you are now.

note i havent sworn once in your honour. note i swear a lot at your son.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by Billy Whizz

Travelling all that way to try to sort out your dress-sense and musical taste. Mrs C, I salute you.

Comment by john

or just to smack him in the face.

i fucking hope its to smack him in the face.

Comment by andy@cynic

30th june? who the fuck has holidays that fucking long in this age of financial fucking crisis. oh i forgot, this is cashed up campbell where normal fucking rules of employeedom dont fucking apply. thats my money campbell, you fucking stole it from its rightful home and while you go on a 3 week pisstake, i have to put up with some cowboy builders who dont fucking know if theyre into construction or destruction but charge a hefty fucking fee refuckingardless.

Comment by andy@cynic

Look on the bright side Andy, I have so much luck currently [your words, not mine] that in my next life I might come back as you.

God forbid for both of us.

Comment by Rob

good job we can rely on nottingham donkey forest to wipe that shit eating grin off campbells face when they lose against whichever other fucking lost in the wilderness team they have to play.

Comment by andy@cynic

Sadly I think you might have a point.

Comment by Rob

theyre playing some welsh bastards.


ive never done this before but “go welsh fuckers with your stupid accent and unpleasant fucking residents. except catherine gold digger zeta jones who is worth one even with bipolar and a history of letting all sorts of old or b grade pork fucking swords inside her.”

Comment by andy@cynic

Supporting some Welsh mob? I never thought you would stoop so low.

Comment by Rob

funny how your mum is relevant at 78 but her 40 year old village idiot son who works at the coolest fucking ad agency in the whole fucking solar system is decidedly and constantly 5 degrees off ever being relevant.

then theres this.

“She doesn’t judge … she doesn’t discriminate … she doesn’t make excuses.”

what the fuck happened to you then?

is this proof you were adopted, found or hatched because you sure as shit could not of come from your brilliant parents genes. maybe you were a government experiment that went wrong?

Comment by andy@cynic

which would explain jill, who must be a spy scientist, pretending to be your wife so she can see te effects of the secret government experent close fucking hand. finally every fucking thing is coming together.

Comment by andy@cynic

did lee give you another fucking freebie for your mum?

its like i never saved his sorry fucking arse. wheres max wanker clifford, i want to sell my expose story to the news of the fucking screws.

you can end it lee by just giving me a freebie. one fucking freebie. you give campbell loads and hes not even mates with mr beard.

whats he got over you that even the auntie parasite hasnt and where do i get me some?

Comment by andy@cynic

Calm down Andy, I bought it.

Well, sort-of, naturally she’s flying a higher class of seat than was actually paid for. Hahahaha.

Comment by Rob

I think Andy is back.

Comment by DH

Have a good holiday Mrs Campbell and let Robert spoil you, he can afford it. If you really don’t want anything, can I send you a list of items I’d like and you get him to buy those instead? Thanks.

Comment by DH

too fucking right hes good for it, its my fucking money which means every piece of shit he buys for himself is like me handing over the credit card. its like hes one of the fucking ex wife leaches.

you can buy mrs c what she wants campbell but of you even buy dave a fucking ice cream im going to kill you.

sorry dave.

Comment by andy@cynic

My Mum wants a new guitar amp so I’ll make sure she gets it Andy and I’ll keep it safe at my place.

Comment by Rob

Understand. Tight bastard.

Comment by DH

its not because im tight, its because you cant fucking help me in my career in any fucking way. career? what a fucking joke, my career is now watching builders take all my fucking money while doing fuck all but shake their head and drink tea.

Comment by andy@cynic

Little mention to lovely Peggy who never comes on here anymore but turns 30 today. YAY.

How do I know this?

Because Andy told me.

How does Andy know this?

Because Peggy wrote to him to tell him he was publishing his email which he then demanded I go back and change on every fucking post on the very day he has blog posting obesity.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Comment by Rob

its like youve never made a fucking mistake in your life. well you have campbell. everyfuckingthing you write is a fucking mistake.

Comment by andy@cynic

no good deed goes unpunished. sorry it was you who had the hassle this time rob 😉

Comment by peggy

Have a great time with your Mum.

Comment by Pete

rob i love it when you post about your mum. for a couple of reasons – firstly, ‘cos i’m actually ridiculously sentimental and love hearing about guys’ relationships with their mums. it’s a different kind of relationship than the mother-daughter thang.

secondly, your mum reminds me of my nanna – she’s 80 and still travels the world (she came and visited me in the UK when i was there), loves learning new stuff, spends a crazy amount of time learning about the tech ways of the world and i have the same sense of pride and admiration about her.

mrs c – i’m sure you’ll have an amazing time. make sure you try all the weird food, get caught up in a crowd and check out some of that amazing scenery. and let him spoil you. go on.

Comment by lauren

Enjoy your time off with your mom Rob. Also, I look forward to Andy’s reaction when you’re “forced” to take a 5 weeks holiday because of that Chinese tax-breaks law thingy.

Comment by Rafik

4 years to go till that happens Rafik and surely I’ll be sacked by then so maybe Andy’s blood pressure will not reach the bursting point I know it would do otherwise.

Comment by Rob

“even if she doesn’t like something, it’s not wrong – it’s just a choice and a matter of taste.”

your mum sounds lovely. that’s the best you can be. Are you going to be around these parts? I’d like to say hi if yes!

Comment by andrea

Aye. You were going to come to a planning beer thing about 4 years ago and never did!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

(but before Forest play…shielding myself in case of bad results)

Comment by andrea

what do you think is more fucking underwhelming, campbell or forest?

yeah, campbell. by a fucking landslide.

Comment by andy@cynic

wanted to let you know its fucking great without you.

dont come back soon.

Comment by andy@cynic

you could only wait two days. lightweight. i’ve been checking daily and i’m stoked on a daily basis.

Comment by lauren

Won’t miss you
a) Because I’m away next week
b) I’ve got my other WK planning director to flirt with now
But have a good break with your Mum

Comment by northern

you fucking slag.

Comment by andy@cynic

One softy whispered aphorismn and I’m anybody’s,what can I say?

Comment by northern

more like one fucking cup of tea from some w+k planner w+ker and youre ready to have an arse like a clowns fucking pocket.

you should be a suit with promiscuity like that. or a wpp m fucking d.

Comment by andy@cynic

1 man advantage for 88 fucking minutes and your bastards still cant beat those taffy bastards? fucking pathetic. and stop whining about disallowed goals and penalty claims, your team were shit but at least they kept nottinghams reputation for being shit infuckingtact.

Comment by andy@cynic

I don’t know how you did it, but I know you did it.


At least it’s 0-0 and basically half time. Well, that’s what I’m trying to convince myself it is anyway.


Comment by Rob

god and i move in mysterious fucking ways. mine are more fucking interesting though.

Comment by andy@cynic

this blog is fucking amazing right now. keep up the good no fucking blog posts work. hope youve got your hankies ready for forests fucking collapse. you could use the ones you keep in your pocket to wank over your queen records.

Comment by andy@cynic

ok campbell, im bored. come back and write your shit. i know ill fucking regret saying this within nano fucking seconds of reading your next piece of shit but right now itll do. come on, we all know youre fucking gagging to write it again.

Comment by andy@cynic

but no planning bollocks. i have my fucking limits.

Comment by andy@cynic

still fucking waiting. im too important for this shit so get on with it campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

hey billy, reckon you can do a rob campbell understudy too?

Comment by lauren

no one can be that boring, even fucking billy.

Comment by andy@cynic

You mean no one can be as boring as the person who you have just publicly begged to write another boring post?

Given Forest have destroyed my hopes and dreams for another season, I might get my own back on the rest of society by writing one of these said ‘boring posts’ sooner than I intended and trust me, you’ll be begging for mercy when it happens.

Just like normal.


Comment by Rob

Will it encourage us to dull our minds with bad music and boring docos, appear edgy by interviewing pimps and swearing a lot and earn plaudits by highlighting the bleeding obvious att great length?

Comment by john

how fucking dare you dodds. campbell never has and never will do anything edgy in his miserable fucking life.

stupid. yes.

edgy. no fucking way.

the rest is depression inducingly right.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m back by the way.

You forgot homo eroticism, be it worship of genitalia or other adventures in latent sexual desires

John, I’m useless, I’ll post your entries today

Comment by northern

hang on, youve gone on a fucking holiday after campbell and are back before campbell? is that because hes a grade a lazy bastard or youre too tight to cough up or a half decent break. or both.

and whats the fucking knob fanaticism bollocks youre going on about groper? what the fuck is happening here. dont bother answering, no one give a flying shit.

come on campbell, when are you going to put us in our fucking misery?

Comment by andy@cynic

waiting. and i fucking hate waiting. especially for a fucking planner.

Comment by andy@cynic

5,000 on the stage wait being over in less than 3 hours

Comment by peggy

pay up, the fuckers still playing hard to get. poor bastard, doesnt realise our goal is to keep him the fuck away from us.

Comment by andy@cynic

Rejoice Andy, there’s one coming tomorrow. And it’ll make you sick. Sicker than it normally makes you.

Comment by Rob

5,000 bif are in the post

Comment by peggy

About time

Comment by northern

you sick fuck. thats to groper and campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

so where the fuck is this blog masterpiece then campbell?

Comment by andy@cynic

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