The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

New Week. New Job.
April 25, 2011, 5:59 am
Filed under: Comment

First of all ‘happy birthday’ to Mr Vulgar who turns 427 today.

He’s currently doing his best Keith Richards attempt somewhere in Mauritius so feel free to take the piss.

Right, now that’s over with, let’s get to the point shall we?

So if you’re a planner who has at least 5 years experience in Asia and are interested in trying something new, interesting and mentally exciting at W+K Shanghai, please do the following:

1/ Compile your resume including some examples of your work that includes the following:

[I] Objective
[ii] Insight/Tension Point
[iii] Idea
[iv] What did you contribute to the actual work
[v] Results

2/ Write a brief [based on whatever format you want as long as it’s no more than 2 pages long, uses size 12 font and does what you think a brief should do] based on the following scenario …

“Canon China are synonymous with top quality camera and lenses and while the brand has high awareness and had continual growth – especially in the DSLR range – their business is under increasing pressure from competitive brands and camera phones.

One of the areas Canon feel can drive their brand and profit is their range of professional camera lenses – however they have identified very few people purchase additional lenses once they’ve bought their main camera equipment.

Despite this, Canon want to encourage camera enthusiasts to purchase at least one additional lens post-main camera purchase and have a budget of approx US$500,000 to do this.”

Please note, this brief has been left purposefully ambiguous for a reason … so use it, embrace it, evolve it as you feel fit.

[PS: Canon has been used purely for indulgent reasons, don’t read into it too much]

3/ Answer this question:

“If you could spend US$1000 on your Mum, what would you buy and why?”

Just so you know, the brief I’ve put out to some of the headhunters is the following:

I want someone who can work without masses of supervision, has experience working with high level clients across a bunch of disciplines & categories, can negotiate their way around various client protocols and processes and still get to and inspire great ideas. They should be creative, industrious, interesting, energetic and empathetic [that is especially important] can drive work/presentations/meetings and have colleagues, clients & the tea lady think, “fuck me they were good, we’ve got to always have them in the meeting”.

If you’re still interested, you can email me here

Final thing, as much as I am very open to considering people who have not worked in adland before, it’s vital you have worked in Asia for at least 5 years so if you haven’t, please don’t waste your time – unlike Hollywood, there won’t be a change of mind. Sorry.

If that’s not put you off, get in touch.

21 Comments so far
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Happy birthday to my spiritual leader. While he is living the guru dream, I vow to protect his honor by fucking swearing in every fucking comment.

By the fucking way Rob, how much fucking money are you fucking offering?

(Sorry Rob’s mum)

Comment by Billy Whizz

My solution to your canon brief is

Comment by Billy Whizz

A creative going to the internet for inspiration? How unusual.

Comment by Rob

Forgot to properly represent birthday boy in my last comment so….

My fucking solution to your fucking canon brief is fucking


Comment by Billy Whizz

Like he’s not even away. Good job Billy.

Comment by Pete

messing up the tinyurl was a nice touch 🙂

happy birthday Andy.

Comment by Rafik

I didn’t even notice that, very nice touch Billy,

Comment by Rob

I didn’t even mean it which means I’ve really captured Andy’s spirit because I to link to this

Comment by Billy Whizz

3) I’d buy her the Canon lens she wants as a result of my brief.

Comment by John

No doubt you’ll claim she wanted the biggest lens that only you could give her. Go on, say it …

Comment by Rob

I know Andy will go in a mood if I don’t wish him a happy birthday so happy birthday and I’m glad to see the increasing costs of your Canadian palace aren’t stopping you holidaying in the resorts for the rich and famous and infamous.

If I was looking for a job with you and had US$1,000 to spend, I’d find out what your Mum likes and spend it on her instead.

Comment by Pete

That’s the sort of crawling that would get you far.

Comment by Rob

Use it for wedding invites, frame the receipt. it is what she really wants, her boys in stable long term relationships, especially since Dad passed.

So seeing as that won’t happen anytime soon, I’d give you the money back and just have you call her and as consolation alleviate that other worry: while I might not be married yet I am doing ok working for a great agency in Asia..

You know how Moms never stop worrying until they see it for themselves or hear from someone else 😉

And a toast to Andy: Happy birthday sir..

Comment by Niko

Your brief to headhunters are as wonderful as ever Robert.

Happy birthday Andrew. Enjoy the debauchery.

Comment by George

In so much as I’m getting no one? Ha.

Comment by Rob

Visions of Boucher perfecting his sun salutes on the hippy beach.

Comment by John

if andy thinks i’m going to wish him a fucking happy birthday on here, just because he fucking harangued us all week, he’s got another thing coming.

i’m going to do it because i genuinely wish the soft bastard a wonderful day.

happy birthday, dear.

and if i was answering that brief for real, i’d be buying mum a queenscliff ferry season ticket so that she can go and see her baby grandson once a week without even thinking about it.
which has more to do with canon professional lenses than you think.

Comment by lauren

Creep. But nice. But not as much as your Mum idea, that’s lovely.

Comment by Rob

and you know he’s going to be pissed at you posting a job for a planner on his birthday, don’t you.
there’ll be something about not giving birth to more planners on the celebration of the birth of god’s creative gift to the world. or something.

your evil is amazing.

Comment by lauren

Good call Lauren, pure evil.

So Robert, did you get anyone wanting to take up the challenge, besides me?

Comment by Pete

thats all i fucking get? i basically buy you houses, cars, gadgets and fuck knows what else and i get a few shitty lines of birthday wishes. you tight fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

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