Filed under: Comment
So I’m back after a very weird – but awesome – week.
I say weird because in just 36 hours, I got a teensy bit seduced by someone I never thought could make me feel that way annnnnnd somehow managed to insult a guy who is known for being one of the nicest men alive, as well a Hollywood legend – which whatever way you look at it, is not the average sort of week for anyone.
Anyway, all that will come later because [1] it’s late and I’m jetlagged and [2] I am suffering from a dinnerfest with the one man food viking, Mr Freddie Sarnblad … which should tell you I am currently in Singapore where the moment I landed, I headed immediately to my Mecca – the Funan Technology Mall – so I could check out [read: buy] a bunch of new gadget madness to annoy the wife.
Which leads me to the point of this post …
As I was walking around, arms piled high with the sort of stuff ‘The Generation Game’ wouldn’t even offer as prizes, I saw this:
No, your eyes don’t deceive you – a Christmas ad.
In April!
No, it wasn’t an April Fool, it was a fucking “Santa Is Coming” print ad on the 4th April.
OK, to be fair, it’s for an Australian retailer and we all know how mental they are – but come on, even TBWA wouldn’t have the gall to claim this is disruption.
The thing that makes it even funnier is that Singapore isn’t a country that needs much persuading to shop.
After eating, shopping is pretty much the national pastime so why the hell Harvey Norman felt the need to run a Christmas ad in April is beyond me.
OK, so those Aussies have this thing called ‘Christmas In July’ – but this isn’t July, it’s April – and not much into that month either.
Sure, you can say I noticed the ad … sure, you can claim I remember the retailers name … but I also know Miley Cyrus but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go out and ever buy something she produces.
What next? Easter in September …
I know the retail industry is one of the toughest out there, but this tactic is the equivalent of a crack addict stripping in the street. Sure you might have a closer look but at the end of the day, you won’t ever want to bring it home to meet the family.
[You can tell I haven’t written a post for a while can’t you!]
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this is all we fucking get? you have a week off doing fuck all and you write this shit as your comeback. and why the fuck are you in singabore? what the fuck have you bought that even youre admitting is gadget fucking madness.
arent harvey norman those fuckwits with than annoying jingle? the ones who pretend theyre fucking cheap but cost more than a night with a top grade hooker in a suite at the w? what the fuck do you expect then. the fuckers probably think it is christmas everytime they rip off some poor fucker who cant work out apr on a fucking calculator.
good fucking dig at tbwa there. northern groper will be proud.
hope you are your gay lover had a nice fucking dinner while the rest of us did our shit. you live the fucking life dont you campbell. now hurry up and tell me what you did to ron howard and if it doesnt involve you telling him how youd like to bang his daughter, youre a fucking wimp.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 7:45 amI know … I know … it’s pretty crap isn’t it. Sorry – I only decided to write this late yesterday and after I wrote the heading, I lost interest almost as quickly as you do on a daily basis.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better, but don’t hold me to it.
PS: No, I didn’t mention his daughter, but funnily enough, I watched a movie with her in it recently and you’re right, she is awfully pretty.
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 8:12 amim not holding my fucking breath.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:15 amDon’t tell me you brought up The Da Vinci Code, that just isn’t cricket
Comment by northern April 4, 2011 @ 4:52 pmnothing is too low for anyone associated with that fucking shit groper, stop being a fucking wimp.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:46 pmand who the fuck would want an acer. doesnt every fucker know theyre the fucking hyundai of computers, filled with shit to try and take off your mind theyre shit.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 7:46 amThe Robin Hood of Computers?
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 8:12 amstill trying to rehash your old ideas then campbell? we all know what fucking happened when you tried to flog it to hyundai so we all know what would fucking happen if you tried to flog it to fucking acer. shame because it might actually work or at worst stop them doing all they can to look the cheapest nastiest pile of brand shit since ratner and his prawn sandwich outburst.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:17 amTo be fair the post title is quite good.
Comment by Billy Whizz April 4, 2011 @ 7:50 amDoes it resonate with you Billy?
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 8:13 amevil fucker. well done campbell.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:17 amPrick.
Comment by Billy Whizz April 4, 2011 @ 8:20 amsnappy fucking comeback there billy. youll have campbell quaking in his italian birkenstocks.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:23 amok, so he gets points for that billy. premature ejaculation and christmas all in one sentence is pretty fucking good especially when all the little boys and fucking girls come across this blog when they’re google searching santas address so they can put in their order for presents they dont fucking deserve or realise costs their mum and dad another 5 years on their poxy fucking mortgage.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:07 amYou’ve got all that to come, how exciting.
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 8:14 amim not taking any fucking responsibility for anyone until they have a job and a salary that covers all their basic fucking needs. thats where george went wrong.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:21 amDo you have something to tell us Andy?
Comment by Pete April 4, 2011 @ 8:21 amno.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:24 amand what the fuck do you mean when you say the reason youre not telling us the only bits we are mildly fucking interested in is because “its late”. its 8 in the fucking morning for you isnt it? dont tell me youve only just got in? no fucking way. that would make me fucking sick to the back teeth.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:10 amYou can rest easy Andy, no it doesn’t mean I had a life – and even if I did, if I’m out with Freddie, it’s hardly going to be the sort of debauched living you aspire to is it!
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 8:14 amborn to be fucking mild.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:18 amI know the retail industry got hit pretty hard in the last 12 months, but Christmas in April is horrible.
Comment by Pete April 4, 2011 @ 8:18 amhorrible. more horrible than famine, wars, debt and depression? youre a hard fucker pete. and a bastard.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:19 amI might of over dramatized my response. Replace horrible with ridiculous.
Comment by Pete April 4, 2011 @ 8:23 amhorribly fucking ridiculous would be better.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:24 amThat Acer has a catchy product name.
Comment by DH April 4, 2011 @ 8:55 amHow do you reconcile buying stuff you don’t need with your earth hour post Rob?
Comment by Charles April 4, 2011 @ 9:55 amhes a fucking hypocrite. but did he ever fucking say he wasnt.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 10:05 amBut my Earth Hour post wasn’t about needless acquisition, it was about the futile way the organisers were trying to change people’s longer-term behaviour by adding ‘+’ to their logo thing.
So I can reconcile it pretty easily. Ha.
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 10:13 pmyou should be in politics campbell. you wouldnt win, its just more people would hate you this way.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 10:18 pmCan you leave another comment Andy because I don’t want to come first.
Comment by Charles April 4, 2011 @ 2:22 pmI like the way the most useless posts provoke the best comments.
Comment by northern April 4, 2011 @ 4:51 pmAnd Lord Be Praised Rob declined to be in Singapore when I was, he’s probably have forced me to buy an Ipod Toaster, an r2d2 hoover or some other junk.
Anyway, not wanting to gloat, but all that matters is the following numerical values: 4-1
you mean theres useful posts? where the fuck are they then?
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:48 pmYou mean 4=1 after one of Forest’s players got wrongly sent off despite getting the ball [not the man] and had been dominating the match up until that point?
And you would not of got an R2D2 Hoover, it would be the LG Robot one, much cheaper and more effective.
Now tell me about these ‘un-useless’ posts you imply you have seen.
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 10:11 pmis there a fucking reason you wrote 4=1 or is it because youre crap?
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 10:18 pmI was there, it was fair and square.
Comment by northern April 4, 2011 @ 10:39 pmAt least you admit you would have mercilessly have got me taking food from my boy’s mouth in the pursuit of pointless techno crappery.
And less of the fales modesy, even Andy occasionally admits there is the odd great post.
Now leave alone, I’m off to lob a metaphorical hand grenade into creative review (I use the word creative ironically)
lsd makes me see things that arent really there. thats why i sometimes say nice things about this fucking blog.
how is the ironic creative review going? telesales pitch again?
Comment by andy@cynic April 5, 2011 @ 12:08 ami want….
that’s the strategy isn’t it? pander to the veruca salts of this world. harvey norman is the chain that whinged. loudly. that the australia retail were suffering badly from online purchasing (especially with our strong $A against the US$, £ and €. he wanted to govt to put tariffs on online purchasing, taking out a full page ad on behalf of large retail chains (poor things) – despite him clearly using that same economy in purchasing power to squish single retailers.
the head of the retail association said that anyone in retail that whinged about people buying online had their head stuck up their arse if they weren’t able to adapt and that it was their problem, not the consumers.
it was poetry.
Comment by lauren April 4, 2011 @ 8:12 pmi like the cut of that retail association bastards jib, whatever the fuck that means.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:49 pmit probably means you like to fiddle with his buttons.
Comment by lauren April 4, 2011 @ 8:53 pmActually Lauren, it probably means you’ve been smoking crack.
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 10:08 pmfor once i agree with campbell. the fucking thought of playing with anything of his makes me want to chop off my hands.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 10:19 pmapologies for my poor spelling/grammar there. i’m just lazy.
Comment by lauren April 4, 2011 @ 8:13 pmand where the fuck is campbell? probably too busy fiddling with his fucking buttons to post any other comments. and that probably is a fucking euphemism.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 8:51 pmNot gadget fiddling. Working. Thought that would make you laugh!
Comment by Rob April 4, 2011 @ 10:09 pmthat is fucking priceless. welcome to my fucking world. oh i dont work anymore so welcome to dans fucking world.
Comment by andy@cynic April 4, 2011 @ 10:20 pmHa frigging ha Andy. Actual creative work amazingly. Now if I could just find some actual creatives.
Comment by northern April 5, 2011 @ 12:23 amIn other news, my boss, ie Ben Langdon has ‘resigned’. It’s like the days Thatcher resigned, Queen broke up and the Darth Vader threw the Emperor down that big pit all rolled into one
are you connected to his resignfuckingnation in some way or is it code for sacked because his bosses found out deep dive was what you planning types call watching youporn in client meetings.
will you become the boss? will you get more cash? will you join ben wherever the fuck he goes. do i care? the answer to all this is no except the more cash bit.
Comment by andy@cynic April 5, 2011 @ 12:46 amUnfortunately on the cash question it’s a resounding no. On everything else, my lips are sealed.
Comment by northern April 5, 2011 @ 1:02 amthatcher resigned, queen broke up and darth threw me emperor down a big pit. so are you saying youre as happy as a pig in fucking shit? dont worry about anyone reading your response, no fucker actually reads this shit.
Comment by andy@cynic April 5, 2011 @ 1:01 amOf course, he’s a bastard, an utter, utter twat
Comment by northern April 5, 2011 @ 1:16 amfor a fucking planner, youre not too fucking bad groper.
bastard resigns and a compliment from me. best day of your bald fucking headed life.
Comment by andy@cynic April 5, 2011 @ 6:46 amhttp://www.campaignlive.co.uk/news/1063601/Ben-Langdon-quits-Digital-Marketing-Group/
why the fuck it doesnt say “all gropers fault” is beyond me.
Comment by andy@cynic April 5, 2011 @ 12:55 am