The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Robert Met Robert …
March 8, 2011, 6:20 am
Filed under: Comment

So I’ve met Rob Mortimer.


Rob was, I think, the first fool to start commenting on my blog [apart from some dodgy colleagues] so it was wonderful to finally be able to meet up with him after over 5 years.

Of course, it was slightly weird that we did it in HK, given he lives in Manchester and I live in Shanghai – but despite that, sitting down with him and his good lady wife left me feeling in a similar way as to when I met Lauren: normal.

I don’t mean that in a disparaging way, I mean it in the sense that it felt like we were old friends just catching up after a while and that we’ll be catching up again very soon.

Now of course I do hope we will catch up again very soon – however as much as Rob and I have conversed many, many times, the reality is I don’t really know him, I certainly don’t know enough about his life, and yet the feeling I had when we were chatting is some weird American dineresque bar, was this is an old mate.

That’s testimony to how nice he and his wife are, but it’s also another example of [in the positive sense] how friendship is evolving or [in the negative sense] the illusion blogging can create.

I’ve said for a long time that while I am a massive fan of technology, there are dark sides.

When I was growing up, you had to make friends with whoever lived near you or you’d be Billy-No-Mates and so, even if you had massive differences of opinion on stuff [best band, football team, flavour of crisps] you would work your way around them.

Nowadays it’s different.

You don’t have to worry about being a loner or a loser – at least not in the same way – you can find people who share exactly the same views and thoughts as you and while that is great in making you feel like you belong, it also stops people having an ability to debate or accept other people’s points-of-view and that is something I find very concerning and yet, every time I mention it, I get looked at as if I am advocating banning technology and going back to a quill and ink.

Technology is awesome, it has allowed me to make contact and friendships with a whole host of people – but personally, I am old school and think the term friendship can only be used when you know the bad sides of a person as well as the good.

That said, I was talking to a mate last weekend about how friendship has lost elements of its spontaneity.

That could be because I’m an old fucker or the fact I don’t actually know that many people in Shanghai – but I kind-of miss just knocking on a mates door unannounced and seeing if they want to go out.

Sadly that doesn’t seem to happen anymore – at least to me – possibly because we all have technology that allows us to see if a person is ‘up for it’ without actually having to make any effort though to be fair, even if they did, I’d probably end up grumbling under my breath about how my precious personal time had been invaded by someone being nice and spontaneous.

I am seriously only weeks away from turning into the grumbling old men off the muppets!

Saying that, one thing I kind-of-like about this blog is that we don’t always agree.

Of course you’re always wrong [ahem], but I like the fact we can have differences of opinion without either [at least in the main] character assassinating the person with the alternative view or writing spiteful anonymous comments and that’s why meeting Rob for real was so great, because while we didn’t really disagree on stuff, I got to know more about him – the person – and that’s why I can say we’re moving from online friends, to friends, even if the thought of that will quite rightly, horrify him.

Ahhhhh, I’ve just worked out why Northern has cancelled his trip to Singapore.

Seriously, it was great meeting you Rob – and send me the pic – I would have put ours up on here [how weird does that sound] but my lovely iPhone had a bit of a mental and lost it.

32 Comments so far
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well thats a holiday the poor fucker will never forget for every fucking wrong, bad, tragic, sad, depressing fucking reason.

and for the record campbell, you have the most fucked up criteria for friendship so it doesnt matter if someone came round every fucking day and brought you an apple pie with hot custard, youd still not call them a fucking friend so it has nothing to do with the internet rewriting what friendship is and everything to do with you being a weird fucking twat.

just to remind you, your best mate is a guy who cant mow the fucking lawn without chopping his finger off and who is known more for the size of his cock than any other thing. might be a good fucking attribute to be known for but if it proves anything, its that being your friend means youre an incompetent freak which might be why youre not beating them off with a shitty stick from your front door.

mortimer, i tried to warn you but did you listen? did you fuck. you got all your fucking deserved.

Comment by andy@cynic

No wonder Mortimer hasn’t been heard from in weeks.

Comment by Billy Whizz

hes lying in a ditch somewhere except he put himself there after the fucking horror of meeting campbell. i know exactly how he feels.

Comment by andy@cynic

You know I regard you very highly Robert, but I agree with Andrew that your criteria for friendship is rather twisted, especially given you have, by my definition, more friends than Justin Bieber.

Comment by George

What George said.

Comment by DH

What Dave said after George said it.

Comment by Billy Whizz

more friends than justin bieber? like gary glitter has more friends than justin beiber?

Comment by andy@cynic

you should be a bastard more often george, it suits you and it makes me almost like you.

Comment by andy@cynic

“i am seriously only weeks away from turning into the grumbling old men off the muppets!”

no youre not, youve been a fucking muppet for years. yes its a shit low blow joke but who the fuck gives a fuck and if you do, youre a fuck. the end.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes I know my view of friendship is fucked – but what else do you expect when if I followed normal ‘rules’, I’d have to accept people like Andy into my inner circle?

You can give me your worst, I’m away for the rest of the day.

Comment by Rob

our worst can never be as bad the fucking shit youve subjected us too each and every fucking day. the only saving grace is i know you are in an all day fucking workshop and thats worse than being stuck in guantanamo fucking bay. or a queen concert.

enjoy sucker.

Comment by andy@cynic

What Andy said.

Comment by DH

too fucking right.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by Billy Whizz

only if they fucking stab him.

Comment by andy@cynic

I have finally decided to get over my fear of ‘making a complete fool of myself’ (I admit it is not very new but it is my fear).

I have been reading this blog for the past 4 years, while I do not believe I am your friend, I think an important part of feeling close to the people who you have read over such a sustained period of time is that they start to participate (to some extent) in the making of your views on the things – whether it is a agreement or a disagreement, it is a view.

What I will say next will make me sound like a sad lonely girl (in a country of a billion people)- They say a friend is one who helps in your growth , to me that explains the feeling of closeness with the people who write the blogs that you follow, their opinions makes you more aware of what you believe binging you closer to who you really are, and if that isn’t growth , then what is.

Comment by Swati Dagur

dont worry swati, even if you thought donald trump was fucking hot you wouldnt look as fucking stupid as campbell and his blog bollocks.

Comment by andy@cynic

you should also get out a fuckload more.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thank you for the warm welcome Andy. Also, getting out is a sure way of loosing the friends that I have made through the beautiful world of technology. And look where following normal ‘rules’ landed Rob.

Comment by swati

Hi Swati, fabbie to have you pop by, hope it’s not a one off. And as Andy kindly said, there’s nothing to be fearful of given the rubbish I write everyday.

Comment by Rob

What everybody said, except for Rob and Dodds when he says it.

Comment by Marcus

What’s Rob Mortimer ever done to upset you Marcus?

Comment by Rob

I have never referred to Mortimer as Rob.

Comment by Marcus

Damn. Foiled again.

Comment by Rob

Tut tut…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

What Marcus said.

Comment by john

Daft bugger.

Comment by Marcus

only daft?

Comment by andy@cynic

see forest lost again. all going to shit. your poor fucking colleagues are going to have an even shittier day than normal.

Comment by andy@cynic

You call that a pleasant meeting? I’ve never been so terrified in all my life, they don’t call them special forces for nothing…

But seriously…

Was really good to eventually catch up having been delayed by family members and the horrific traffic of Tsim Sha Tsui!

I have to steal my (online rpg addicted) nephew’s laptop when I want to go online, hence the long waits.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

So I guess it’s my turn now?

Comment by andrea

Singapore is back on.

Comment by northern

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