The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

What’s funny is that within about 10 seconds of landing here, I sort of automatically reverted to the life I led when I used to live here, 7 years ago.

Maybe it’s because I’m on my own … or maybe it’s because that while many aspects of my life have changed, certain elements are exactly the same … but I did catch myself in quite a few deja vu moments, especially when I was loading myself up with bad documentaries, ha!

To be honest, it felt good.

Normally when I re-visit a place I once lived, I feel a stranger … weirdly disconnected from everything around me, even though it’s pretty much the same as how I left it … but this time, it felt better and for a sentimental fart like me, that’s a wonderful feeling.

Then I had dinner with my friend.

This is a very important person to me – a person who I’ve gone through thick and thin with and who has continually offered support and friendship beyond the call of duty.

To be fair, I think I’ve done the same for them which is why I was devastated to hear the unbelievable dramas they’ve had going on in their life for the past 12 months.

Because we’re in regular contact, I knew quite a bit of what had been going on – and had naturally offered my support as best I could – but seeing their eyes as they recounted terrible situation after terrible situation broke my heart, not just because no one should go through the shit they’re going through, but because I was devastated they hadn’t felt able to tell me everything they had been going through.

That sounds incredibly selfish – but I’m not saying it because I didn’t feel important – I’m saying it because they’re an amazing person and all I want for them is happiness, health and success and the fact they were being slowly pushed down by situations not of their own making – and doing it alone – upset me massively.

Of course I understand why they kept these details to themselves – they’re personal and tragic – however friendship is about being there in bad times, not just good so I’m just glad I now know before it’s too late … which leads to the point of this post.

Life is never going to be all sweetness and light.

We’re all going to have ups and down, good times and bad … which is why I hate how society has been sort-of brainwashed into thinking the airing of any concerns or worries makes you weak or a failure because not doing so is actually more likely to make that outcome a reality.

Of course my industry doesn’t help.

Not just because they use fear to drive materialism which, in some circumstances, contributes to some people’s problems, but because they rarely ever acknowledge life is good and bad and has ups and downs so there’s this message put out that life should be like Disneyland and if you’re not feeling that way, then there’s something wrong with you.

I’m a big believer things can start to change with conversation.

I’m not talking about the superficial or simply spouting words out and not really hearing the reply, I’m talking about having a real conversation … where one person talks and the other listens and then they respond directly to what has been said rather than simply take things off on a tangent that is either about them or away from a subject they feel uncomfortable with.

As I wrote here, good things can happen when you talk about bad … and we should try to remove the stigma of that and whilst I genuinely believe adland can contribute to it, it is nothing compared to what we can do on our own with our friends.

I’ve said it many times, we all have 3 sides … personal, professional and private … and if you think you can really know someone without knowing bits of every side, then the person you’re kidding the most is yourself.