The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Hope you all had a toptastic Christmas and an alcoholic new year.

I had a disgustingly awesome one with the sorts of pressies I thought you only got when you were about 15 years of age.

That’s a good thing incase you were wondering.

Anyway, it’s the new year … a time where hopes and dreams are at a high, where all those things you aspire to achieve are firmly in focus, or they would be if the BBC didn’t put out fucking state-the-obvious headlines like this:

Seriously, I had such high hopes for this year and then in a moment of lazy headline, I realise 2011 is a year of the same shit, just a different digit.

Now I know what you’re thinking …

“But Elton could have adopted a baby so by saying a surrogate, the BBC are being informative”

… but bollocks to that, not just because it ruins my argument, but because last week I had to endure the pain of listening to someone from a certain WPP owned media company, say the sort of ‘no-shit-Sherlock’ bollocks that makes me want to kill.

At one point, they actually said – and with an air of pompous superiority – that “young Asian women think it’s important to look nice”.

Fuck me, hold the front page.

To piss him off, I did ask him ‘why he thought young Asian women thought it was important to look nice’, to which he said …

“Because it makes them feel good about themselves.”

Seriously, how I didn’t hit him I do not know – though I did manage to ask him [admittedly in a spiteful tone] whether he thought ‘that was the only reason’, to which he just muttered some more nonsensical bollocks and moved on.

These people make me ill.

They’re the sort of idiot that still thinks an insight is spouting what people do rather than why they do/think it or they’re the sort of tosser who read Asian Yang and believed it because they were so desperate to appear intellectual, common sense not only left them, but packed up their belongings … ordered a removal truck … saw a divorce lawyer and emigrated to some far and distant land.

They are also the sorts of people who use a single quote in their powerpoint deck and expect their audience to regard that as undeniable proof that what they’re saying is not just right, but sheer bloody genius.

These people make me ill.

Actually they don’t.

They make me want to kill.

And given I’ve had the best rest from work that I’ve had in maybe the last 7 or 8 years … there’s a chance that next time, I will.