The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Misery May Like Company, But Clients Don’t …
October 27, 2010, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

Advertising is supposed to be fun.

The people in it are allegedly interesting and exciting to work with.

We claim we understand people so well that we can do stuff that makes them fall in love with stuff.

So how come all the photos agency people have of themselves in the media or in their agency credentials makes them look like the most miserable bunch of fuckers on the planet?

Seriously, if they’re not all dark and moody [always in black & white] …

… they’re contrived wackiness [always in colour] …

Seriously, it’s like there’s some law that you have to either pretend your Bono in his most pretentious of moods or Coco the fucking Clown.

This all came about after I was checking a deck we’re going to present later this week and saw that the entire W+K team had photos that looked like they were either going to a funeral or contemplating suicide.

Who the hell is going to want to work with a team like that?

Our business thrives on relationships – and whilst you’d hope a lot of that is underpinned by respect and quality of work – the truth is how well you get on with eachother plays a massively significant role, and so basically scaring people away from the moment they set eyes on you is probably not the cleverest move in the World.

OK … OK … so I know I scare clients regardless of what facial experssion I’m showing, but it amazes me how adland loves to talk about big things and their ability to understand people and situations and then fail to realise how the little things can make the biggest impression.

Oh, and for those who say that knowledge and personality should conquer all … well yes, it should … however first impressions last and if the first exposure they have to a company is a bunch of miserable and moody photos of the team they would be working with, the reality is they’ll make sure you never have the chance to show how good your knowledge and personality actually is.

It’s a bit like women saying ‘a sense of humour is more important than looks’ … but let’s face it, if the guy has a face like a dropped pie, no women is going to give them the time of day to let them show off how funny they are in the first place.

Hell, I had to lock my now wife in a dungeon for 3 months to make sure she listened to me and even now I wonder if she married me out of fear or love.

So adland, drop the moody and the wackiness and just be fucking normal, smiling people – you might even find people talk to you like a human being after that.

Oh and from now on, W+K are a moody bastard photo free zone.

49 Comments so far
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fuck me campbell, youre hideous.

proves my brilliance though, because no normal fucker would be able to get clients past your fucking face to win their biz. another thing you fucking owe me.

i get your fucking point, the whole too cool for fucking shit bollocks must make clients laugh/cringe so well done on getting the w+k tarts to lighten the fuck up a bit, you might not of got them making cars yet but its a fucking start.

and in your pisstake moody photo you look more like the quiff fucker out of aha in their overfuckingexposed “take on me” video than that wanker bono. hes still a cock but at least its not bono like some other planning cock i could mention who is watching his ego deflate as his career goes the same way as most of the other fuckers from the 80s. fucking excellent.

Comment by andy@cynic

I know EXACTLY who you’re talking about. From ‘King of the World’ to supervisor of Milton Keynes in about 2 years … that’s almost as good as Gerald Ratner, but more deserved.

And I actually would rather resemble Morten Harket than Bono …

Sure he isn’t as rich, wasn’t as successful and made worse music – but on the bright side, he’s not Bono.

As for how we won our business?

We both know it had nothing to do with you, we owed it all to George and his seemingly never ending associations with the business elite. Actually, we owed it to his Dad, who created those association which George just exploited for his own greed. What a bastard.

Comment by Rob

why is your hand so fucking red in that thermal photo? is this proof youre literally a fucking wanker? no, this blog does that. fucking pervert.

Comment by andy@cynic

Well that will ensure no one will ever shake my hand again …

Comment by Rob

Australia. A-ha. The old fuckers on this blog talk in a strange language.

I’m guessing w+k are just starting to realise what they did when they hired you. It must feel like a prison sentence with no chance of early release for however long your notice period is.

Comment by Billy Whizz

a prison sentence with a perverted, pedantic idiot.

go fuck yourself billy boy, youre a fucking old twat and riding a skateboard to work doesnt hide it, it fucking proves it.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m not even 30 so what does that make you?

Comment by Billy Whizz

explains why youre not getting laid though.

thats the sort of self help advice dr fucking ruth and dr pervert phil dream about giving. quack fuckers.

Comment by andy@cynic

Skateboards don’t answer back. Or complain when you accidentally bash them against the sidewalk.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Advocating female cruelty are you Billy?

Nah … you’ve never been close enough to a woman to even talk to her, let alone “accidentally” push her. See, every cloud has a silver lining.

Comment by Rob

Genius comment there Andy. I salute you for that.

Comment by Rob

am i supposed to be fucking surprised at your praise? well im fucking not. its natural.

Comment by andy@cynic

All the credential pics of the people I saw in my internship looked like the guys were having an incredibly good time all the time. But then again it was a network agency and the country is known for its booze.

Comment by Thomas

you didnt mention if you actually fucking interned in an agency or not. and fcb or something like that is not a fucking agency.

Comment by andy@cynic

Easy on Thomas. He’s a good lad.

Comment by The Kaiser

Now that’s the friendly welcome I was waiting for. Yes, I actually fucking interned there (DDB, not sure if they count as an agency …).

Comment by Thomas

it means youre in the club thomas, its a fucking compliment.

Comment by andy@cynic

I think it’s an indication of how insecure we are as an industry when it comes to how our clients view us. We’re overcompensating for our irrelevance by looking like we should be fronting a mortuary. As if that’s going to get us taken seriously.

Of course it could also be the fact that the ad industry just ain’t as fun as it used to be. But that said, I’ve got an agency party to go to tomorrow night, so we’ll see if that’s still true after that. Hopefully there’ll be bald-headed dwarves walking around with lines of …

Comment by SimonB

bald headed dwarves with lines? so youre living in the 80s? 2/1 you work in australia. go on, tell me im fucking wrong.

Comment by andy@cynic

If it’s the SimonB that I am guessing it is, he does live/work in Australia. That’s amazing … and it’s also a massive insight that the Aussie Tourism Board should be looking at rather than just flying Oprah over to film her looking at koala’s and imagining them between 2 slices of bread and a shitload of fries.

Comment by Rob

Making sure my eyes are tightly shut for your photos, I think this is a really good post especially where you say “adland loves to talk about big things and then fail to realise how the little things can make the biggest impression.”

I would put it another way, adland talks about knowing an audience and then presents themselves to their audience and shows they haven’t given them a second thought.

Comment by Pete

fuck you pete and trying to keep this post on track with sensible fucking comments.

Comment by andy@cynic

We’ve only a handful of myths left and you’re determined to blow up the last links in the advertising gravy train aren’t you? Look it’s OK for you to revive the equivalent of HHCL’s professional radicalism. Like we’re so fucking zany but when push comes to shove…. when it’s bio-pics time; we deliver like a marcomms whore with a lubed up loud-hailer gone missing and a ‘reaching new heights’ headline.

We’re doomed.If W&K are struggling with their creds, what chance is left for your multinational mercenary? Revival of bromides? Four colour separations? ‘Opens on a beach’? We are so fucked….

I always had a soft spot for professional radicals though. It was like getting paid to be an arsehole. I was in my element.

Comment by Charles

Professional Radicals was awesome … especially because it assured clients we were working in their best interests but in ways they were unable to do – or see – themselves.

And for the record, the content of W+K’s docos are fine, it’s the photos of the people that are [read: were] dodgy. That and their occasional choice of employee.

Comment by Rob

you just got the teams pics spruced up to ensure you don’t stand out 😛 ha !

Hey you’re right, it is ad land and more agencies are becoming too serious :(. Management’s hidden desire to pass of as ‘corporate’

Comment by bhaskar

You’re skating very close to Peter Arnell territory Rob. You’re right about agency photos making them look like moody bastards though.

Comment by DH

That’s fighting talk Dave.

Comment by Rob

Wait until you get to London.

Comment by Paul H. Colman

Kevin Chesters photos make me look like Brad Pitt … I can’t wait to get to London.

Comment by Rob

Rob, have you put on weight?

Comment by northern

Why have photos at all?

Comment by John

I’ve seen your photos Dodd’s I know why you’re against them

Comment by northern

True. I would of course wear a Sorrell mask.

Comment by John

Booking a therapy session.

Comment by John

Do you mean the photos from his ‘chat roulette’ days? The ones the Police are supposed to have taken away?

Comment by Rob

I love how everyone deemed important in Campaign does the “Just been hired, I’m creative yet businessman like” pose in their shiny new suit.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Or stand on roof tops in ‘urban’ areas … urban areas they wouldn’t be seen dead living in.

Comment by Rob

“I’m in touch with my down to earth cultural side… by post”

Comment by Rob Mortimer

cover girl have called. they called you a fucking girl and want to cover you. with dirt. while youre trapped in a fucking coffin.

Comment by andy@cynic

You have this wonderful ability to stop yourself being sucked into adlands bubble which enables you to see the things that alienate it from the real World. Things the industry regards as normal behavior.

It’s a skill that all planners should aspire too. All advertising people actually.

Comment by George

get a fucking room you planning pricks.

and george, why the fuck have you spelt behaviour, behavior? those google fucks arent supposed to be into evil but theyre turning you into one of those yankee bastards and thats about as fucking mean as you can get.

Comment by andy@cynic

Andy – is this you?

Comment by tom

no. but the writer wishes i was.

better than this shit though isnt it.

Comment by andy@cynic

isn’t ‘checking a deck’ a euphemism for wanking anyway?

Comment by lauren

so when teachers used to say “check your answers” they really meant we should be having a cheeky wank? fuck me, school could have been fucking awesome.

Comment by andy@cynic

Amazing blog, I want to know who it is.

Start at the beginning, very rewarding.

Sorry Rob, bit of a threadjack

Comment by tom

do you hear any of us fuckers complaining?

Comment by andy@cynic

I prefer not to know, it’s genius is what it is.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I can see a lot myself in this person

Comment by northern

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