The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Of course she’s coming because she’s been paid a fuckload of money to do so … but she’s still coming.

There’s a load of hooplah surrounding this trip, not least because she’s bringing 300 of her ‘fans’ to see her being sycophantic with the likes of Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman.

Whilst I actually think bringing someone like Oprah to this side of the World is a great idea [one I actually proposed to a company in Malaysia, however they decided doing some shit ads was a better waste of their money] there are a couple of things that are being done that I think has the potential to fuck up the numerous benefits.

First of all, read this …

As I said, I think bringing Oprah over is a good idea, even though I think it would be far more beneficial if she went to less well known places than Oz [places that Americans have a more natural inbuilt prejudice towards] … especially when the land down under is becoming more and more like LA – all be it with some better natural surroundings & wildlife, at least in Sydney – by the day.

However there are 3 things that I think, if mishandled, have the power to fuck all Australian Tourism’s carefully laid plans.

1/ Tourism Australia’s belief this visit vindicates supporting Baz Luhrmann’s flop, “Australia”.
2/ The image Oz wants to present versus the image the World wants to see.
3/ The backlash towards brands who sell their soul for the Yankee exposure.

Let’s start with number 1.

To be fair, maybe this point is inaccurate as I’m basing it off the article above – an article that appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald, a newspaper so myopic in celebrating anything positive to do with Australia, that you could argue it was created by the Aussie Government to keep their people brainwashed into thinking they are the super-race.

Anyway, if true, there’s a huge amount the fuck-up fairy could come and screw up.

The article states:

“A PERSONAL VISIT & ENDORSEMENT BY ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL BUSINESS WOMEN & COMMUNICATORS – YOU CAN’T BUY ADVERTISING LIKE THAT”

Errrrm yes you can, because the Aussie Government – and god knows who else – are paying for her to come, it’s not like she did it of her own accord. What it should say is …

“A PERSONAL VISIT AND ADVERTORIAL ENDORSEMENT BY ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL BUSINESS WOMEN AND COMMUNICATORS – IT COSTS A LOT TO BUY ADVERTISING LIKE THAT”

… however that’s nothing, because the article continues to say:

“IT WILL BE THE ULTIMATE VINDICATION FOR TOURISM AUSTRALIA, IF [the millions they spent promoting the movie ‘Australia’] INSPIRED OPRAH’S VISIT WITH 300 AUDIENCE MEMEBERS TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD”

What the hell are they going on about?

As I said in the point above, the movie didn’t inspire shit – that pile of crap came out ages ago and so if it was going to have inspired visitation, we’d of seen that long before now – what inspired Oprah & her ‘audience’ to go to Oz is a big whopping payment to the Queen of Sychophant and a free Qantas holiday to 300 parasites.

That’s like claiming the cars Oprah gave away a few years ago wasn’t an [expensive] publicity stunt, but vindication for a car company to stick with their ‘hideous car design principals’.

Absolute bollocks … almost as absolute bollocks as Mr Closet Travolta being a Qantas ambassador, but I’ll save that for another day – even though he’s supposedly going to be the pilot of the plane bringing all the Oprah crew and audience to Oz!!!

Which leads to my next point – though it’s number 3 of the list above, not number 2. [You can’t call me predictable, oh no!]

Is anyone else a bit fucking pissy that QANTAS can justify flying over a plane load of over-excited, middle American soccer Moms for free yet charges their everyday passengers a fuckload of cash for a shit experience?

You just know the plane they’ll be flying the lardyarse Yankee ladies in will be brand new, with a flight crew that’s made up of the most glam flight attendants they could muster [which will be hard, given in my experience it is almost universally staffed by over 60’s with a bad attitude] serving a range of cuisine that doesn’t resemble the ‘beef or chicken’ mush the rest of us have to contend with in the slightest.

Personally I’d love the Aussie media to pick up on this point but there’s more chance of Osama singing George W’s praises so I guess I’ll just have to leave it with the cynical fucks who read this blog.

But here’s the biggest possible shitfight …

What Australian Tourism is keen to promote doesn’t marry with what foreigners want to see.

I’ve written about this point before, but as much as Australia wants to present itself to the World as a modern, dynamic, innovative country [even though the movie they decided was worth investing millions of tax payers dollars in – including my bloody tax dollars – shows it as a fucking dust bowl] the reality is the rest of the World goes to Australia to see sun, beaches, kangaroos, koalas and a few iconic buildings/natural sights [ie: Paul Hogan] and so if the guys at Tourism Australia insist on pushing their ego agenda, they might just find the visit of Oprah might do more damage to their business than even their beloved Baz Luhrmann film because let’s face it, the last thing American’s want to visit on holiday is the sort of place they drive through each day on their way to work.