The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Apart from some of them being very funny and sounding scarily like the Father is the bastard love child of Andy and Simon Cowell …

[On returning from kindergarten]

“You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of your life”

OR

[On Lego]

“Listen, I don’t want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks like a pile of shit”

… the fact is his ‘to-the-point’ views are refreshing and relevant.

We live in politically correct times.

People often feel they can’t say what they really think, even if they would do it with tact and sensitivity.

I remember a few months ago, I was running a client brainstorm and started by saying:

“I do not subscribe to the belief everyone has good ideas. Everyone might have ideas, but quite often they’re not good so by all means speak up but unless it specifically answers the task at hand against the issues we’ve highlighted, I’m not going to allow our time to be wasted with something that could disrupt the few good ideas from coming to the fore”

Well, there was outrage.

People called me arrogant and unhelpful and basically a terrible human being … however a brainstorm isn’t supposed to be adult playtime, it’s supposed to drive new thinking around old problems and so if you approach the session as some sort of happy hippy party, you’re better off hiring a children’s clown than an ad person.

[Yes, I know this sounds contrary to the view I had when Richard Huntingdon slagged off brainstorms – however, he called into question the whole concept of clashing brains, whereas my view is they are valuable as long as they are managed and controlled correctly]

Anyway, back to the book.

As I said, some of his ‘call-a-spade-a-fucking-shovel’ comments are very funny, however underpinning them is a viewpoint that gets to the heart of the issue … the sort of thing adland and clients should be embracing rather than hiding from.

I wrote about this sort of thing a while back and called it ‘Unplanned Planning’ and I still believe in these highly exaggerated, band-wagon jumping, don’t upset a soul, contrived times, you can deeply connect with people through tough love messages, backed up with a tailored brand experience.

An example is when our hero replies to his son’s complaints about overdraft fees …

“Don’t get mad at the overdraft charge. No … no … see there’s your problem. You think of it as a penalty for taking out money you don’t have, but instead it might help you to think of it as a reminder you’re a dumb shit”

We’ve all been there …

Not just overdrawn, but then complaining about the fees but he’s right … what the fuck do we expect when we use money we haven’t got? Sure there might be the odd exception, but if you’re anything like I was till I finally got my act together, you were using your overdraft as part of your salary rather than in a case of emergencies.

Now imagine if a bank came out and said they wanted to stop you going broke.

Said they wanted to stop your monthly salary being dwindled away before you even got a chance to spend a cent of it.

Said they were going to help you minimise the risk of losing your car, house, life.

Yes … yes … I know it’s all very doom and gloom, but even putting the recent financial crisis aside, these are issues that have been worrying a huge percentage of the adult World for a long time.

I know it sounds mad, especially given Bank of America/IDEO did such a fantastic thing with their ‘change’ campaign, but what if a bank came out and said that in their quest to help people truly take control of their financial lives – and as a result, not pass on the bad habits and burden onto their children – they had put in place the highest overdraft fees of any bank and would charge double if you used the O/D facility 2 months in a row because the only way you’ll learn is if you deal with the problem head on rather than hide behind the illusion of solvency via high interest credit cards and easy-to-obtain overdraft facilities.

They’d be the bank that didn’t do you credit, so to speak.

Sadly I know it wouldn’t work because it’s these very people that supply the banks with the majority of their profits … but the banking industry is ripe for revolution and if the British Government hadn’t stopped Virgin from getting Northern Rock, I might of been able to put it to the test.