The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Given I’ll be based out of the Shanghai office, my ability to ‘blog’ may be impacted somewhat by the great firewall of China … however whilst I am sure all of you are excited beyond belief that this might signal the end of my rubbish ranting, I am working on some ‘alternative options’ that might allow me to continue being a loud mouthed twat starting with the fact I am going to Cuba to big up my communist credentials.

Communism … hmmmmn, let me tell you, the Chinese Government are more capitalistic than the US.

Not only do they charge you ‘duty’ to bring in your own furniture into the country, they have a cap on how much audio/visual content you can bring.

Any content … not anything that could be deemed inappropriate by Chinese immigration officials.

And guess what that cap is?

Go on.

400 pieces.

FOUR HUNDRED PIECES of audio/visual content made up of either DVD’s, videos, CD’s, albums, games.

Given my collection of these items amounts to approx 10,000 items … I am in a spot of bother and even if they decide I can bring them in, they still will charge me US$1.50 for every CD and US$2.50 for every DVD I bring in over the 400 allowance.

Guess there’s going to be a warehouse in Hong Kong that will have quite a collection of film and music stored in it for a few years.

Anyway enough of my whinging – let’s get on with today’s post shall we.

Have a look at this:

Before we get to the ad, look at the packaging.

Is it just me or does that look more like a pack of cigarette papers or some fancy-pants tampon pack rather than a chewing gum?

Eitherway, this post isn’t about the ridiculous packaging [you just know the words ‘aspirational’ and ‘status’ were banded about in the brief] I want to talk about that headline.

EVER TRIED RIDING AN ICEBERG DOWN A LAVA FLOW?

Apart from giving the obvious answer of “NO” … closely followed by “HAS ANYONE?” … what the hell are they actually trying to say?

OK … so I can work out they’re attempting to communicate this gum is both cold and hot, but is that supposed to tempt me to trying it?

Alright, I’m a nearly 40 year old cynical bastard, but I don’t think this ‘strategy’ would even work for kids.

Sure they might be tempted – but given the packaging has been so obviously designed to appeal to BMW driving sales reps who think they’ve made it because they’re driving a 316i at 80mph along a motorway, I don’t think they’re likely to hand over their hard earnt pocket/mugging money to sample it.

Whilst I’m a big believer that communication should demand attention, saying any old shit is pointless especially as I am a firm believer there are no boring brands, there’s just people who haven’t looked or opened their minds enough.

To help with that – and to say it in a way that is way, way, waaaaaaaaay more powerful than I could ever hope to achieve, here’s a paper my first boss – the irrepressible Steve Henry – wrote about ‘how to write a brief that infiltrates brands into culture’.