The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


CitiSkank: Sometimes The Best Ploy Is Knowing Your Place …
April 14, 2010, 5:59 am
Filed under: Comment

So I was walking through the streets when I saw this …

Untitled

Who the fuck do Citibank think they’re kidding.

Actually ignore that, what the fuck do Citibank think they’re doing.

Are they really trying to say that having [read: spending] a Citibank credit card is going to make you like Andy Warhol?

Do people want to be like Andy Warhol?

My guess is the answer would be no … they’d like to have his success and acclaim … but not be him, not interms of what he looks like or did which leads to the question, do people – people in Asia – even know who he is?

Putting that aside, let’s look at the headline:

Live To Inspire

Sorry, but I don’t think Andy Warhol lived to do that … maybe I’m wrong but I was under the impression he lived to do whatever the fuck he wanted which, let’s face it, becomes much more difficult when you owe money to a bank because the blood-sucking bastards stand over you demanding payment like they’re 1960’s standover men from the East end of London.

Mind you, despite Citibank continually demonstrating an amazing ability to make fucked-up judgements … the reality is if some bloke walked into a branch looking like Warhol, they’d be more likely to be removed from the premises than given a bloody credit card.

OK, they’d be given a credit card – banks never let a chance to screw someone pass by – but they certainly wouldn’t show the person any respect.

This sorry excuse for a campaign draws parallels with VISA’s god awful “Go” campaign – another load of bollocks that tries to equate getting into debt with happiness and achievement – which is why I believe all this campaign can ever achieve is helping anyone with genuine creative talent &/or tendencies more easily identify which status-obsessed, delusional bastard [ie: someone who has this card in his/her wallet or purse] should be stabbed in the eye with a screwdriver until they collapse on the floor to which we can then collectively piss all over their wounds and laugh in their face.

Citibank … you’re a bank … if you remembered that, you might be able to create products, communication and service that attracts the masses rather than revolts them.


36 Comments so far
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you really are a much fucking better person when youre angry.

citibank were wankers, are wankers and judging by this pile of fucking stupid steaming shit, intent on being the wankers to beat of the future.

maybe they can use a picture of mandela behind bars next with the headline “live free”. fucking wankers. i actually hate them more which is a fucking amazing achievement as i hated them more than I loathed a certain a upton, who also wasnt on the c list which shows its by amateurs, for amateurs.

Comment by andy@cynic

An ad designed to appeal to a 45 year old Western banking client who wants to appeal to a 25 year old Asian white collar professional who aspires to be in middle management of a bank within 5 years because they like the bonuses that industry pays rather than anything to do with an interest in finance or economics.

The client probably demands a Beatles track on all his spots because he thinks there’s been no one better or cooler and the 25 year old professionals agree to it in focus groups because they think it makes them look sophisticated.

Banks and banking ads deserve eachother, but they deserved this Rob Campbell spanking more.

Comment by Pete

fucked off pete in the house.

Comment by andy@cynic

and youre much fucking better when youre pissed off pete.

cynic planner dna = happy is unhealthy.

Comment by andy@cynic

thats google fucked then.

Comment by andy@cynic

Having encountered the Warhol on the street in New York once, I would question why anyone would want to be like him. That said, he did know how to print money.

By the way,I recall that you were quite keen on celebrity endorsements by women you’d like to meet , so would seek clarification on whether you actually object to Warhol or the fact that debt shouldn’t be aspirational in your opinion?

Comment by John

And what’s GOD got to do with it?

Comment by John

What does George think about this?

Comment by John

stop talking shite doddsy and stop creeping to auntie, hes not important enough, aim higher.

Comment by andy@cynic

what do you mean “encountered”. do you mean stalked? and why the fuck are you referring to him like hes a cast member on jersey fucking shore? “the” warhol? from now on you call me the andy.

Comment by andy@cynic

Tell me what you really think Pete.

You’ve been hanging out with Andy a bit too much haven’t you.

And Mr Dodds, GOD has nothing to do with it, that sign is for G.O.D. also known as God Of Design … a store selling overpriced cool shit like errrm, black rocking sheep which obviously yours truly owns in a moment of total mental meltdown. Meltdown because it’s not an electronic gadget, not because the rocking sheep is a stupid idea. Oh no.

And answer John’s question Mr ‘Is It A Client Meeting Or A Date?

Comment by Rob

ive not fucking answered to you in 20 years and i dont fucking intend to start now.

love andy.

Comment by andy@cynic

I did some research for Citibank while in Hong Kong. It’s a post I’m going to write about because they dragged their feet over paying me and it was infantile research, and they ignored the only interesting nugget of information I gave them from interviewing credit analysts, bank treasurers and traders. This work isn’t in line with their new platform they are hoping to launch worldwide but it’s still shit and they deserve a bit of a kicking.

Comment by Charles Frith

Now I remember it I got the work through you but you know I’m not being ungrateful when I take a piss on their global positioning 🙂

Comment by Charles Frith

I’m going to hate their new ‘blockbusting’ global positioning aren’t I?

Oh goody …

[How are you matey? All good?]

Comment by Rob

“…should be stabbed in the eye with a screwdriver until they collapse on the floor to which we can then collectively piss all over their wounds and laugh in their face.”

loving some true Nottingham brutality, whoa!!

Comment by Age

Yes, that was rather aggressive wasn’t it. But hey, that’s what happens when bullshit like this comes out.

How are you? Been a while … all good?

Comment by Rob

Have been having computer troubles so haven’t been online much the past week, but all is good. I’m glad to see your angrier than usual these days 😉

Comment by Age

That sounds awfully like the modern version of “My Dog Ate My Homework”.

Comment by Rob

I normally skip the post and enjoy the comments. I have read the comments.

Good morning.

Comment by Marcus

Didn’t enjoy them that much did you?

And has Brian May been bothering you regarding Sacrum’s lovely head of hair?

Comment by Rob

I find it difficult to be calm about Citibank and bankers in general – and the thought of pinstripe gits being anything like Andy Warhol is laughable.
Don’t get m going about ‘go’ which had a nice thought at the heart that got destroyed by a brand that forgot it’s place

Comment by northern

Please have a rant … pretty please …

Seriously, the campaign [and ‘Go’] have made me resemble a red Incredible Hulk so knowing I’m not alone [which I do know, but even when he’s angry, Pete’s lovely] will make me sleep better at night.

OK, that probably makes you NOT want to do it – but humour me, I turn 40 soon and will be announcing the effects of my mild life crisis which are weird. At least for me.

And by the way, are you going to do the next A[P]SOTW assignment or do you want me to do it as I have an idea that might be fun. Well, fun for us, not for the people taking part obviously.

Comment by Rob

Mild life crisis?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Awful awful shite. Says nothing, means nothing, will do nothing.

Also pretty insulting to Warhol.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

how the fuck can you of missed campbells impending mild life crisis? what sort of planner are you? actually i know, youre a lucky one because the fucker has been giving us the shits for months with it. not for much longer though. the hitman is due soon. its his and our birthday present.

Comment by andy@cynic

Bollocks, forgot about that with moving jobs and stuff, go ahead, I’ll do the next one.
As far as ‘Go’ is concerned, it’s dire.
Fair enough, as a fan of Behavioural Economics, I quite like them using the fact that more people use Visa than anything else – people flock to number ones.
I like the premise of a world of opportunity out there, experiences. not stuff. But Mastercard have done this brilliantly with ‘Priceless’ – much more human and, more importantly, lives within the category – being able to get into debt and buy expensive stuff is a good thing because sometimes what you are really buying cannot be values in pounds. That makes debt acceptable and understands it’s place in the world, it has a role and a vision – don’t just buy things you can’t afford because you want them, buy what you can’t afford because a few things matter more than money.
Go pales against this. The so called Disruption is a cultural one -too many people sitting around waiting for stuff to happen, rather than making it happen for themselves (or Just Do It) -but pulling that philosphy back into the category just leads back to Go World, spend bloody money on things it will make you happy. Ib other words, the usual TBWA habit of create a philosophy and them make it relevant to the product/brand some way.
There isn’t the bit that might put it it the back of the net – don’t spend money on things that are just trinkets, spend it on things that will enrich your experience of the world. Don’t identify yourself by what you own, but by what you’ve done, and here’s some extra servioes that will help you find those things and do just that.
In other words, say something different that’s credible and relevant – and actually DO it.
And anyway, because it’s based on quite a common insight, not really a product truth, apart from the fact buried at the end, anyone can copy this. What makes Visa different?
Why not start with the fact and work from there? How can the weight of the crowd be used? How can you connect with them? What tension in people’s lives can Visa resolve? How can they unite that big community – or make a series of small ones?
I’ll stop going on, but bloody hell it makes me mad.
Another examples was a nice brief to the Europe from a dairy brand that wanted to build it’s natural credentials. Simple proposition – cloers to nature. Support, normal people can’t afford 100% natural, local stuff, we bring them the next best thing – well priced stuff as natural as it can be.
TBWA got itself tied up in endless philosphical debates about James Lovelock theories, trite worthiness… and went nowhere.
There was some lovely, simpler stuff kicking around about how nature bites you on the arse if you ignore it (and in funny non-worthy way)anf following your insticts – up to a point, with the twist being that point, but that was far too easy.
In other words, most if what TBWA does, especially the US version, is ‘Let’s do another Apple or Pedigree’. In other words, free up some hippy, creative side, or ‘We’re for (insert category here)’

Comment by northern

All hail the slipperati.

Comment by John

Bloody hell!

Of course everything you say is awesome and the ‘life bites you on the arse if you ignore it’ is a lovely & true comment – so I am guessing [and if I’m wrong, I apologise] what you were expecting from TBWA wasn’t exactly what you got.

The ol’ “pitch not reflecting how client/agency act when appointed” stuff. I guess that’s true with most companies – the issue being the best places are the ones who don’t lie as much in their pitch, ha.

Talking of pitching – that’s going to be the A[P]SOTW assignment so I’ll get on and do it … and seriously thank you for this, it’s really interesting to read your perspective on anything … and even more so when it’s something that makes you type with slightly more pressure on the keyboard than you would normally use.

Comment by Rob

This blog brings out the best in Northern. I like it.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

feel better?

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes!

Comment by northern

last

Comment by Marcus

but one.

Comment by andy@cynic

cock

Comment by Marcus

Stop flirting and get a room. 🙂

Comment by Rob




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