The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

WANTED: People Who Don’t Mind Looking Like Twats.
April 8, 2010, 6:05 am
Filed under: Comment

As I’ve mentioned many times, I am a big, big fan of design …

Whether it’s corporate, packaging or industrial, I find it unbelievably interesting and can even look past the fact many of them justify their actions with the sort of explanation you’d expect from some two-bit tinpot dictator.

Over the years I’ve had the great pleasure of working with some amazing designers – and I include my wife in that group because even though she say the odd jillyism late at night, during the day she’s a bloody awesome and talented designer – and it never fails to amaze me how many factors they take into account when they are developing their ideas.

Which leads me to this post.

Imagine you want to develop a product that will help reduce stresses and headaches.

Imagine it’s a product that you have to put on your head to make it work.

Imagine it’s called the uCrown2.

With that all in mind, what do you think would be some important components you’d have to consider in the design process?

Something light weight perhaps?

Something you could feasibly wear at any time and any location?

Something that looks gentle?

To be honest, I’m not sure but I’m as sure-as-shit it wouldn’t be something that looked like this:

Who the hell did OSIM – a Singaporean based health technology company – get to design this, Josef Mengele?

Fuck me, just looking at the thing makes me feel stressed and gives me a headache … so god knows what it must do when you actually put it on.

Am I the only person who thinks it looks like the sort of contraption you’d see in a horror movie or some alien abduction doco?

Seriously, that thing scares me … especially the dial over the ear … that’s pure evil.

Surely it could have been made to look nicer.

I know the man on the ad looks like he’s in orgasmic ecstasy, but let’s face it – it would be more embarrassing being seen coming out the back of a sheep than wearing that poor excuse for a BMX helmet!

In short, it’s absolutely horrendous and whilst I appreciate the ad is to attract interest … whoever had the bright idea to actually ‘show’ the product in use is stark, raving mad … because in a choice between a headache or looking a twat … I’m pretty sure the headache is the much more preferable option.

Saying that, my favourite bit is the fact the ‘talent’ used in the ad is wearing a tie.

Are they really suggesting this is the sort of item busy executives could wear at work to help them be more effective.

Come on, let’s be serious here … if you were seen wearing that during office hours, your bosses would put you in a jacket with no sleeves rather than respect your desire to be sharp and focused.

So to OSIM – who are a genuinely innovative and successful company – may I suggest in future that you either get your products better designed or don’t make your ad agency feature the bloody thing in the ad and just focus on how it makes you feel. Trust me, it’ll be worth your while.

31 Comments so far
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That looks like something they’d use to diagnose a brain tumor. ugh. It’s horrendous.

Did you change your auto-posting time by the way? If so, and if you did it for the reasons I think you did thank you 😀

Comment by rafik

I’d love to say I changed it just for you, but it just turned out that way, hahaha.

You OK? Back in the land of freezing cold yet?

Comment by Rob

this looks like something from the bbc props department for dr who. or a blue peter sticky back plastic debacle. in other words it looks fucking shit and well deserving of the sort of evil post you used to write when you were good.

big fucking improvement on the calculator bollocks but then so would a photo of one of your turds.

my advice to osim is to follow campbells advice or risk getting sued by fisher price.

Comment by andy@cynic

It really does look like a Fisher Price kind of thing doesn’t it. For some reason, that makes the whole thing even sadder … especially when there’s a man in a suit wearing one, haha!

Comment by Rob

Awesome post Robert. I remember osim from my time in Asia, in particular one product they launched that basically was a take on a bucking bronco for helping trim the waist and firm the butt. That looked ridiculous as well but the product demo film reached so bad it’s good iconic status. I’ll try and hunt it out.

Osim has little to do with health and fitness, it’s about vanity and the impression of status. They should be positioned as the brand for image victims.

Comment by Pete

Great point Pete about OSIM being more about vanity/status than health & fitness. I hadn’t really thought about that but it’s sooooooo bloody true.

It would be so easy for a competitor who creates products that genuinely help health & fitness to fuck them with a “don’t be an image victim” campaign.

And I think the product you were referring to was their iGallop with another in a long line of embarrasing communication material …


Comment by Rob

What’s the betting some twat in their marketing department suggested it was called the ‘iGallop’ because they thought it would make them look like Apple.

I personally love the justification for the product – “horse riding is one of the best forms of exercises.”

Apart from that being open to debate … how does that go from equestrian to some models dressed as cowgirls using their fingers as guns.

Sure, they’re nice to look at … but the only fun thing about this product is the ad, and that’s more a case of you laughing AT it, rather than with it.

Comment by Rob

That’s the one. Static line dancing.

Comment by Pete

Static line dancing. Love it …

Comment by Rob

why dont you both get a fucking room.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m up too early to deal with this. AND I have a show to finish.

Comment by Marcus

You won’t have missed much. As usual.

How close is the show to finalisation. If you say weeks … I won’t bother to try and come.

Comment by Rob

Put it this way, if you come you will have 90 mins of something to watch and hopefully enjoy.

Comment by Marcus

Working on it …

Comment by Rob

it’s a welding mask backwards.

I know welding.

Comment by niko

That might be the scariest thing you’ve ever said Niko. And you’ve said a lot of scary things, ha.

Comment by Rob


Comment by Marcus

Going there now to find out. Will let you know as soon as I know …

Comment by Rob

The real question is why he’s wearing a tie. It’s presumably to link business and stress migraines, but it also causes the literalist to think that this monstrosity will be worn in public view.

It’s much more likely that it will be worn in a darkened room with no audience and so the key design element therefore becomes whether the thing works.

Comment by John

Yes Doddsy … that is exactly the reason why I think they’ve done it and exactly the reason why I said that in future, they should either get their products better designed [if they insist on focusing on them in their ads] or simply do communication that talks about how the product makes you feel.

You’re bordering on consultant territory here … you know, borrowing someone’s watch to tell them the time. Then charging them a fortune for it.

Go on, bite … you know you want to.

Comment by Rob

1) I said it much more concisely than you.

2) I was commenting on the subject of the post – design – and not the design itself. Any “stress-relieving helmet” is going to make you look daft. Otherwise it’s just a hat.

Comment by John

If that ad said: “New. The brain juicer, get freshly squeezed human juice direct from their puny earthling heads” I wouldn’t be surprised.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

But surely Mr M, someone who buys this product is demonstrating they are lacking in a brain. Possibly.

Comment by Rob

Hence them needing more brain…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

you were nice to jill in this post. what have you done to fuck her off apart from breathe?

Comment by andy@cynic

Reminded us of Jillisms?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

good point mortimer. campbell is a devious shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

and why does the model look like a young Leonard Nimoy? Is that to give is some sort of sci-fi chic?
In case you’re wondering, I’ve just been meeting Mother and the above premise is a little more sensible than much of what was discussed this morning

Comment by northern

campbell was at mother which perfectly explains and justifies your comment northern but im assuming your praise and awe is aimed at the commentators not the author of this fucking waste of space post.

Comment by andy@cynic

fair dues, campbell was only there for about 2 seconds so they can be sensible when they absofuckinglutely need to be northern, you just experienced them while theyre on their free from campbell high. been about 12 years so far, thats how fucking annoying he is. i deserve a pissing knighthood.

Comment by andy@cynic

It was 3.27 seconds actually Andy … just long enough to associate with the good stuff then piss off, ha!

Comment by Rob

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