The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Even though it involves a stupid travel itinerary including a couple of interesting/ridiculous/scary business meetings and an attempt to be a bit of a humanitarian [or should I say, a bit of a human] … the bit I’m excited about is that I’m going to be the best man at my dear, dear, dear friend – Tony van Oosten’s wedding.

You might remember Tony as the man who defied ‘Earth Hour’ in favour of watching ‘The Bill’ … but despite that social slip-up, he is a wonderful man who is making a woman in Sydney a very lucky lady indeed.

With this in mind, I’d like to talk a bit about friendship.

The thing is I don’t have many friends.

Now I know you would already have guessed that, but interms of what I call a ‘friend’ – and excluding wife/family – I would say I have about 5.

Five.

Five people in 39 years … and what’s more, I think that’s a pretty good return.

Now of course, whether those 5 individuals would call me a friend, is open to debate – but I think they would – because over the years we have continually proved how important we regard each other through our actions and responses to all manner of scenarios and situations, be they good or bad.

The thing is – I believe the word ‘friend’ is about as overused as ‘love’ …

I know my definition of friendship is rather ‘strange’ [basically a 7 years apprenticeship!], but I find it hard when people regard someone as a friend when they’ve had limited interaction and zero face-to-face time.

Of course, one of the factors behind this change is technology.

When I was a kid, you basically had to make friends with whoever you met because if you didn’t you’d end up as a Billy-No-Mates.

What this meant was that even if you had differences of opinion, you had to find a way around them – however today, thanks to technology, that element of ‘working around differences’ is no longer as necessary because you can align with people who only share your perspective, views and ideals.

While this might lead to a less confrontational life, it also leads – in my mind – to a more potentially dangerous one, because we are developing into a culture that has an inability to accept differences and/or talk about them.

I always love seeing how mental people get on blogs when someone expresses a different point of view. Even if the comment is calm, well articulated and entrenched in fact – most of the time the response is like a rabid pack of dogs.

To be honest, it’s pathetic … but then as I wrote here, too few people look at issues from any other side other than their own.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this and as I said, I know I have a weird view of what real friendship is – especially with the changes technology has made in our lives – but I guess I am saying that I think too many people mistake constant contact as friendship when for me it is something much deeper and multi-dimensional dimensional.

Put it this way, if I don’t class George and Andy as friends … then there’s no fucking way I’m going to call someone I only communicate with via Twitter or the new uber-shit Four Square that.

Talking of Four Square – why the fuck do they have those badge things you can ‘attain’?

Who the fuck cares … and if they do, they should kill themselves.

To me they’re like people who have personalised number plates, sad little fucks whose only achievement in life is the pointless.

I was once asked by a journalist what my personalised number plate would say if I had one. I don’t think they were happy when I replied “… it would say I was a fucking wanker.”

God I’m getting myself in a right ol’ muddle here aren’t I.

OK … OK … let’s wrap this up before I sound even more of a nutter … however as the last point in this post of tangent ranting … I would like to say that I don’t class the lovely/mad people who write comments/insults on this blog as casual aquaintences.

For reasons I still don’t understand, you have been very kind to me and I really treasure your opinions and consideration which is why I genuinely hope we will get to meet in the ‘flesh’ [so to speak] because completely being a hypocrite to my earlier point, I have a better relationship with you than I do with some people I’ve known for absolute years.

Cool?

Well even if it isn’t, I think it’s time I/we move on …

My friend Tony is getting married.

I have known him since June 11th 1996 – a date I remember because it was when I started my uber-short stint in the media department of JWT in Sydney.

Even though his parents are English [Liverpudlian infact] he regards himself as an Aussie – and yet, despite this social faux pas – I think the bloody world of him.

We have gone through a hell of a lot together … good, bad, mischievous, dodgy happy and sad …

We have shared an office … a house … a honeymoon [he came to Barcelona when I was there with Jill, though it wasn’t intentional – however I was bloody glad he was there given my wife spent most of the time ill in bed] … and even though we now live in different countries and see each other only a couple of times a year, the fact he still talks to me after all the shit I have put him through [and believe me, I have been a bastard to him including ruining at least 2 of his relationships, setting him up with a certified psychopath and encouraging him to do acts of total financial stupidity] makes him a very special guy indeed and I am proud to be able to call him a friend.

Tony: all the very best, you’re going to be a fantastic husband and father and I am very grateful you have asked me to share it with you, though I still say it’s like George Clooney getting married, ha!