The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

2010: Sort Of Holiday #1
January 22, 2010, 6:33 am
Filed under: Comment

Yes I know it’s still the first month of 2010 but by the time you read this, I will have gone away for just over a week.

Even though it involves a stupid travel itinerary including a couple of interesting/ridiculous/scary business meetings and an attempt to be a bit of a humanitarian [or should I say, a bit of a human] … the bit I’m excited about is that I’m going to be the best man at my dear, dear, dear friend – Tony van Oosten’s wedding.

You might remember Tony as the man who defied ‘Earth Hour’ in favour of watching ‘The Bill’ … but despite that social slip-up, he is a wonderful man who is making a woman in Sydney a very lucky lady indeed.

With this in mind, I’d like to talk a bit about friendship.

The thing is I don’t have many friends.

Now I know you would already have guessed that, but interms of what I call a ‘friend’ – and excluding wife/family – I would say I have about 5.


Five people in 39 years … and what’s more, I think that’s a pretty good return.

Now of course, whether those 5 individuals would call me a friend, is open to debate – but I think they would – because over the years we have continually proved how important we regard each other through our actions and responses to all manner of scenarios and situations, be they good or bad.

The thing is – I believe the word ‘friend’ is about as overused as ‘love’ …

I know my definition of friendship is rather ‘strange’ [basically a 7 years apprenticeship!], but I find it hard when people regard someone as a friend when they’ve had limited interaction and zero face-to-face time.

Of course, one of the factors behind this change is technology.

When I was a kid, you basically had to make friends with whoever you met because if you didn’t you’d end up as a Billy-No-Mates.

What this meant was that even if you had differences of opinion, you had to find a way around them – however today, thanks to technology, that element of ‘working around differences’ is no longer as necessary because you can align with people who only share your perspective, views and ideals.

While this might lead to a less confrontational life, it also leads – in my mind – to a more potentially dangerous one, because we are developing into a culture that has an inability to accept differences and/or talk about them.

I always love seeing how mental people get on blogs when someone expresses a different point of view. Even if the comment is calm, well articulated and entrenched in fact – most of the time the response is like a rabid pack of dogs.

To be honest, it’s pathetic … but then as I wrote here, too few people look at issues from any other side other than their own.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this and as I said, I know I have a weird view of what real friendship is – especially with the changes technology has made in our lives – but I guess I am saying that I think too many people mistake constant contact as friendship when for me it is something much deeper and multi-dimensional dimensional.

Put it this way, if I don’t class George and Andy as friends … then there’s no fucking way I’m going to call someone I only communicate with via Twitter or the new uber-shit Four Square that.

Talking of Four Square – why the fuck do they have those badge things you can ‘attain’?

Who the fuck cares … and if they do, they should kill themselves.

To me they’re like people who have personalised number plates, sad little fucks whose only achievement in life is the pointless.

I was once asked by a journalist what my personalised number plate would say if I had one. I don’t think they were happy when I replied “… it would say I was a fucking wanker.”

God I’m getting myself in a right ol’ muddle here aren’t I.

OK … OK … let’s wrap this up before I sound even more of a nutter … however as the last point in this post of tangent ranting … I would like to say that I don’t class the lovely/mad people who write comments/insults on this blog as casual aquaintences.

For reasons I still don’t understand, you have been very kind to me and I really treasure your opinions and consideration which is why I genuinely hope we will get to meet in the ‘flesh’ [so to speak] because completely being a hypocrite to my earlier point, I have a better relationship with you than I do with some people I’ve known for absolute years.


Well even if it isn’t, I think it’s time I/we move on …


My friend Tony is getting married.

I have known him since June 11th 1996 – a date I remember because it was when I started my uber-short stint in the media department of JWT in Sydney.

Even though his parents are English [Liverpudlian infact] he regards himself as an Aussie – and yet, despite this social faux pas – I think the bloody world of him.

We have gone through a hell of a lot together … good, bad, mischievous, dodgy happy and sad …

We have shared an office … a house … a honeymoon [he came to Barcelona when I was there with Jill, though it wasn’t intentional – however I was bloody glad he was there given my wife spent most of the time ill in bed] … and even though we now live in different countries and see each other only a couple of times a year, the fact he still talks to me after all the shit I have put him through [and believe me, I have been a bastard to him including ruining at least 2 of his relationships, setting him up with a certified psychopath and encouraging him to do acts of total financial stupidity] makes him a very special guy indeed and I am proud to be able to call him a friend.

Tony: all the very best, you’re going to be a fantastic husband and father and I am very grateful you have asked me to share it with you, though I still say it’s like George Clooney getting married, ha!

Right that’s all done and dusted then … so see you all back in Feb 1 and in the meantime, enjoy being more productive and reading blogs that actually have some value to them. And Doddsy’s. Boom Tish.

16 Comments so far
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is this a new gameshow where contestants have to work out what the fuck campbell is saying in this post and why/how the lazy fuck gets to fuck off before the first month of the fucking new year is over?

hope its one of those prizes that rolls the fuck over each week because even steven speak and spell hawkins wont be able to work this fucker out.

for those sad sacks of shit who want to try and win whatever piece of shit prize thats up for shitty grabs, send your answers on a postcard to

couldnt give a shit avenue
what the fuck campbell is trying to say drive
hes all over the place
666 666

spare a fucking thought for me, i dont know what the bastard is going on about but have been told it somewhere involves him turning up on my fucking doorstep. wonder how quick i can sell up and fuck off?

and youre not my fucking friend either campbell. im not friends with the downstairs help. lol.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’re wrong Mr Smartass, you can have really strong relationships with people you’ve never physically met.

I met all my girlfriends on and in 3 minutes of meeting online, we’d have a relationship that left me feeling really satisfied. And the best thing is you can have at least 5 different girlfriends a night. Credit card cost is a bitch though. And your right arm starts to hurt.

You don’t know what you’re talking about rob but neither do the rest of us.

Question. Is Tony clinically insane?

Comment by Billy Whizz

billy finally announces what we already fucking knew, hes a wanker.

dont despair billy boy i still like you but theres no fucking way im shaking your hand again.

Comment by andy@cynic

Watch out Andy, the downstairs help is on his way.

Nice comment Billy, at least it made more sense than my weapon of mass confusion.

Comment by Rob

Are you sure you don’t drink?

Comment by John

imagine what the fucker would be like if he did doddsy. scarier than osama with 50 nukes and an itchy finger.

talking of drink im off for a swift 72 now i know hes on his way. so far my 2010 has been fucking shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

You sound like you’re in love with Tony. Are you sure It was a coincidence he was in Barcelona or a carefully planned rendezvous?

Poor Jill. First she reads your defence of Tiger Woods affairs and now her husband talks lovingly about another man.

Comment by Bazza

have a ball lovely! i hear sydney is amazing this time of year 😉

Comment by lauren

Are you bringing us presents Rob? If you don’t you need to recalculate your friend totals.

Comment by DH

Awesome Doddsy joke.

Comment by Angus

I blame the guest contributors.

Comment by John

Good to see Andy’s on form

Comment by northern

you make it sound like im not always the smartest motherfucker here northern. ill blame it on the lack of sleep and the stench of shit so fucking potent it makes rubbing your eyes with onions seem like sad bastard fun.

Comment by andy@cynic

newsfuckingflash thought.
will campbell have to wear shoes at this fucking wedding hes going to? how I fucking hope he does though the sneaky fuck will probably paint his feet black before he resorts to footware normality.

Comment by andy@cynic

Too much time with you know who Andy. It’s footwear.

Comment by John

are you fucking back or what?

Comment by andy@cynic

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