The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Almost every possible brand in almost every possible category is endorsed by someone or other.

In Japan you get uber-stars selling their soul for any 2-bit brand that has offered to buy them a new house in Beverly Hills whereas in other parts of the region, you see a bunch of people who have seemingly become ‘stars’ simply through the number of products they endorse.

Infact I am convinced MEDIACORP – Singapore’s main media organisation – makes more money flogging their x-grade ‘stars’ to brands than they do from content creation.

From noodles to keep fit machines, you can be sure the ads will feature some pretty Asian face with the words “MEDIACORP STAR” emblazoned underneath their name – even though you haven’t got the faintest idea who they are or what they’ve done.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they got the ‘stars’ to ‘do’ something interesting/different/humouress – but no – 99% of the time they just show them using the product in the belief that is enough to get the general public to rush out and buy the product in their bucketloads.

Sadly it often is …

Of course endorsement is nothing new … and not just limited to the ‘East’ … however whilst I appreciate it can attain ‘cut through’ and can heighten ‘brand cache’, the communication often focuses more on the ‘star’ than the brand which leads to the possibility that when the endorser goes [probably to a competitor] so can the audience – especially if it’s in a fickle category like kids products.

Anyway the reason I am writing all this is because I recently came across this …

Yes, it’s Mr Handsome endorsing Nespresso.

Now putting aside the fact ‘Nespresso’ is possibly one of the worst brand names since ‘Darkie’ Toothpaste, do you really think George ‘multi-millionaire playboy’ Clooney really drinks Nespresso?

Do we believe he goes to his house in Lake Como – a house that resides in the country that prays at the Church of Coffee – and shoves a Nespresso pod into his Nespresso machine and then sits back and enjoys a cup of black gold from the same company that churns out Nescafe Gold Blend in the local supermarket?

Of course if you think he does, then my argument is shot nearly as much as your – and George’s – credibility … but is it really possible Mr & Mrs Bland feel that by simply purchasing a plastic coffee maker and drinking plastic coffee, they are ‘sharing’ a lifestyle similar to Gorgeous George’s?

Oh god, how totally and utterly depressing.

If this is indeed the case, then the only redeeming factor to this shit is that Nespresso are claiming that without their coffee, George Clooney is ‘ordinary’.

If ordinary is being an international film star with a bevy of beautiful women, stunning houses and a shitload of cash in the bank – then where do I sign up – however call me crazy, but I think this is another example of yet more marketing ego and/or unfunny corporate humour which – if there’s any luck/justice in the World – will make people realise the overall premise of Clooney choosing to use this machine [rather than being paid to use it] is so ridiculous that it’s bordering on offensive so the masses will turn their back on it rather than opening their wallets.

And while I’m on a rant role, can I tell you how much I hate ads that end with a question like WHAT ELSE? or WHY NOT?

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Maybe it’s just me, but when I see something like that, all my cynical side comes to the fore which is why my first reaction when I saw that line on that Nespresso ad was:

“BECAUSE YOUR COFFEE TASTES LIKE SHIT”

I tell you something weird though – somehow Clooney still comes across as cool and credible – which is quite amazing even though it’s probably driven by his self depreciating and honest persona and the fact he has publically admitted he only really does ‘blockbusters’ so it can pay for his more personal and interesting projects.

So there you have it, George Clooney is the Robin Hood of celebratory endorsement, so what’s your excuse Tommy Lee Jones?