The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

If Ferrari Could Produce A Car As Quick As The Publishing Industry, They’d Win F1 Forever …
November 25, 2009, 6:25 am
Filed under: Comment

I’ve written previously about how the publishing industry are masters of exploiting any niche opportunity and recently I saw another example of their relentless quest for quick profit …


I don’t know if you can read the ‘headline’ but it claims to be “An Authorised Collection Of The Funniest Tweets Of All Time.”

Now that’s marketing for you.

OK, so they have got Mr “charisma by-pass” and founder of Twitter, Biz Stone, to write a forward which maybe qualifies it for ‘authorised’ status … but to say this is a collection of the funniest tweets of all time is wrong in so many ways.

To start with it breaches the trade descriptions act because quite frankly, I doubt Nick Douglas – the author, or should I say compiler – checked every bloody Twitter account in existence … secondly, with tweets such as “sometimes we wish Twitter was called ‘Ultimate Badass Report’” it’s hardly the sort of thing that requires you to put on a corset to ensure your sides don’t split … and thirdly – and most damningly – it’s not a compilation at all, it’s a book designed to help egomaniacs maintain their delusion.

What am I going on about?

Well, the fact is this book has been compiled with tweets that individuals have personally submitted for publication … individuals who wrote the tweets in the first place.

Jesus, that’s like asking Hitler to determine whether he was guilty of war crimes …

The thing is, these sorts of books sell by the bucketload – especially around Christmas time where ‘stocking fillers’ becomes a euphemism for ‘overpriced, slightly relevant, shit that on a normal day, you wouldn’t even wipe your arse with, let alone spend good money on’ – however if someone who didn’t know what Twitter was, were to flick through the book, they would be left with just one impression: Twitter is for twats.

And in many cases, they’d be right.

Anyway, as this blog seems to be the home for egomaniac twats [especially if your initials are A.B.] then you can claim to be a printed author by going here.

12 Comments so far
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hope you bought the book so we can hunt down everyone of the unfunny egomaniac little twats and bash them over the head with their fucking mobile devices until they lie on the floor battered, beaten, blooded and bruised.

special attention will be focused on their fucking fat, uninteresting twatty fingers so they cant write any more of their self important and self indulgent shit and walk around like mr fucking peacock when no fucker knows, cares, likes who the fuck they are.

being on twatter is bad, thinking youre funny or interesting enough to be published is hard core kicking material.

and the “editor” and “publisher” should check under their fucking cars each morning as well.


Comment by andy@cynic

Another nice, considered viewpoint from Andy … and another reason why despite everything, I love him in a sometimes-hate-him kinda way.

Comment by Rob

So it’s the same strategy as the guys behind the misleading superbrand “award”. Says more about the people who do it than run it.

Comment by DH

That line reminded me of award shows too, but I figured he did it on purpose so i left it at that.

Comment by rafik

I hope they are preparing to pay for my pearls of side splitting wit that are no doubt included.
Sounds like a book by a suit – capitalise on other people’s work…

Comment by northern

Yes NP, I am sure a bag of gold coins will be on your doorstep any day now.

How’s daddyhood and when are you going to write a post about it. I know you’ve done a ‘list thing’, but I want to hear how it’s made you feel – or not feel – whatever the case may be.

Comment by Rob

Superbrand – just add money.

Don’t get me started on them Dave, but then I guess that was your intention.

Comment by Rob

Surely no one is interested in that? Doesn’t everyone prefer the posts about about tea.
(and daddyhood is ace by the way)

Comment by northern

I’m interested in it. And I gave you a mug for your tea so that must count for something. Or not.

Comment by Rob

Being printed is no joke. Those records were wiped out thankfully when I turned 18. So be carefully what you all wish for…

Comment by Niko

Northern – The moment he first makes you a cup of tea will be pure joy for you mate.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

i’m not in it, so that book is clearly not hilarious. or interesting. end of story.

Comment by lauren

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