The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Nail Your Colours To The Wall …
September 11, 2009, 6:44 am
Filed under: Comment

Yesterday I was telling someone about a post I wrote about Diet Coke [as part of the ‘best beverage’ competition] and how it upset George because they were [at the time] a client of ours.

Well this got me thinking … we’ve not had a good ol’ inter-blog competition for bloody ages.

Do you remember the ‘best meat’ thing that Marcus organised ages ago?

I still think sausages were completely fucking robbed of the title … but it was a lot of fun, even if company productivity ground to snail-like levels.

Then we had the ‘best beverage’ and I think a ‘Smiths vs Boney M’ battle too …

For a whole bunch of reasons, I can’t help but feel our little blog mob has got a bit disconnected as of late.

To be honest, maybe that’s just me trying to share the blame because I know for a fact I’ve been a slack shit for the past 6 months or so … and even though I still visit shit loads of blogs every day, I hardly ever write a comment and I’ve certainly not stayed in contact with people like I used to – which might make a bunch of you very happy – but pisses me off not end, so maybe we need something to pull us all together and I think that thing is the VIDEO GAME face-off.

The rules are that you simply nominate whatever video game you think is the pinnacle of entertainment and then, in the next week or so, I draw lots to see who ‘plays’ against each other so we can identify the best game of all time.

You can choose anything – from any gaming platform – however if you think the system it operates on played/plays an important role in your enjoyment, then you could/should mention it.

I was actually going to make this a ‘Best Documentary’ play-off because I thought it would [1] help broaden our minds and [2] help me fill up my library with more weird shit – but given this whole concept basically needs a high level of public awareness/experience, maybe we’ll save that version for another day.

Right, I suppose I should start things off shouldn’t I.

Oooooh it’s so difficult.

Even though they weren’t real video games, the impact of both BLIP and DEMON DRIVER had on me was immense. Then there was ASTRO WARS – basically a shrunken Galaxian – or CHUCKY EGG on the Acorn BBC home computer.

Shit this is hard … I absolutely LOVED Atari’s POLE POSITION and basically had an addiction to DEFENDER … however the one I’m nominating as the best video game EVER is the ‘Game & Watch’ version of DONKEY KONG.

You know what – I’ve changed my mind.

Hey, if it’s OK for women, it’s OK for men.

Fuck the video game thing – let’s go with something a bit more ‘ad related’ …

Let’s go with what you think is the best ‘brand character’

I’m talking people like Ronald ‘paedo’ McDonald … Bibendum [a.k.a. The Michelin Man] … Mario … Tony The Tiger … Honey Monster … Smash Robots …

Yeah, that’s a much better idea and for me, there’s only one brand character that I will happily support and that is the mighty, meaty PEPERAMI!

So there you go, the competition is officially open … and it’s NOT best video game [we’ll do that another time] it’s the BEST BRAND CHARACTER [ie: they represent a brand rather than are a brand in their own right] so spread the word, get your nominations in and prepared to defend your choice to the death, or at least till you’re voted out!

43 Comments so far
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well really impress you fucking know who when were always late for our meetings because instead of working themselves to the fucking bone, every bastard in the office will be spending every waking hour writing or voting for some shit planner idea of “fun”.

fun? more fun watching a fire in an orphanage.

brilliant fucking timing campbell.

naturally id rather fucking cut my own balls off than to take part, but i will nominate my favourite brand character though its more a caricature and a pretty shit one at that.

Comment by andy@cynic

That would take some nailing to the wall.

Comment by John

In the words of Olivia Newton-John, let’s get fizzical. Put me down for the Corona “bubbles” because it doesn’t matter that the company went bust and most people will think I’m talking about beer, they were cool.

Comment by DH

you fucking sad old bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

they were your fucking creation werent they? you fucking hack david.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m younger than you.

Comment by DH

so is fucking jesus but youre not answering my question and i dont give a shit you would have had to be about 7 years old when you did it.


ok so youre not a hack, you just have fucked up taste except in your choice of employer.

advice: dont fucking respond to my last statement

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

Oh very funny Andy … though I should admit, before I remembered I was mature, I was going to nominate this photo of you as my ‘brand character’ … mainly because it shows you trying to get rid of one of your ‘spare tyres’ that reside all over your body.


Comment by Rob

what fucking crimes must i have done in my past life to end up being surrounded by such a colossal amount of fucking twats?

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s easy Andy.

If you’re surrounded by a “colossal amount of twats” that must mean you were/are one giant prick.

Love you.


Comment by Rob

bring back the gaming character! i’d like to see a match between zelda and mario.

Comment by lauren

Dos Equis – The worlds most interesting man

he is quiet a character!

Comment by Bhaskar

Wasn’t Zelda an actual game character rather than a character to represent a brand?

Eitherway, given I’m sure Marcus will go for Mario, do I [as a special favour to you] take it you will represent the bag/witch lady?

Comment by Rob

rob, did you read the bit before my comment about ‘zelda’ which was – “bring back the gaming character”. not the ‘ad related’ branding character.. that’s boring 🙂

and yeah, marcus as mario would totally kick my arse, but it’s still fun to try 🙂

Comment by lauren

I think the answer to your question Lauren is “No, I obviously didn’t!”


Look I know it might be boring, but come on – humour me – pick a character from a brand and prepare to fight to the death. Maybe you’d like to take on Qantas’ “flying kangaroo” or “Louis the fly” from that shit insect killing thing [Baygone?]

Do it Lauren – do your country proud. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

are you on better painkillers than i am???

although louis the fly isn’t too bad a suggestion (mortein, for the record). been around since the 50s, dastardly character, great voice. i’ll take that one. if i can’t have zelda.

Comment by lauren

Painkillers? What’s wrong?

And I told you, you can be the ONLY person who can have a gaming character if you so choose – so Lauren is either supporting Zelda or Louis.

Next please …

Comment by Rob

Hello. I’m new to this blog and I think this idea is just fucking alright. I’d like to be Ronald McDonald. He’s my hero.

Comment by jamiethepigeon

pervert 🙂

Comment by niko

Something tells me you’re not that new Jamie … but it doesn’t matter, Ronald you are.

Comment by Rob


Comment by jamiethepigeon

So ….

Currently we have:

Me – Peperami
Dave – Corona
Jamie – Ronald McDonald
Lauren – Zelda or Louis
Bhaskar – Dos Equis

Come on, that’s no where near enough …

Comment by Rob


Comment by jamiethepigeon

Bibendum surely!

Oh and video game wise that is bloody hard to do, but I think it would have to be Super Mario Brothers

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Can I change my mind? I’m a pigeon, surely I can do that?

Comment by jamiethepigeon

Only if Jamie a female pigeon!

Oh hang on, I changed my mind didn’t I … OK then bird features, but choose carefully because this is your last choice.

Comment by Rob

I want to be the tango man.

Comment by jamiethepigeon


[I have about 50 million docos on him if you need ammo for your argument. Why the fuck didn’t I think of that – what a total bloody tool]

And I thought pigeons were just rats of the sky!

Comment by Rob

Pigeons are racially segregated Doves

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I hereby announce I want The Hoffmeister Bear

Comment by northern

fucking good call np. think that was webster at his fucking surreal best. that or he drank too much of the stuff before writing the spots.
i hereby support np in his nomination for whatever the fuck this bollocks competition is.

Comment by andy@cynic

The Hoffmeister Bear is gonna be hard to beat.

Comment by jamiethepigeon

Tango must prevail. Do you hear me Jamie. He MUST prevail.

Or Peperami.

Comment by Rob

The Green Giant would be tricky to beat too.

Comment by jamiethepigeon

Good point Jamie Bird Head … we need more people to get involved in this I think, maybe you could send it out on the bird wire?

Comment by Rob

I gotta represent my main man Mars Blackmon.

Comment by niko

Good choice NP, that’s certainly gotta be one of the favourites.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I’ll have the Marlboro Man… swagger.

Comment by Age

yes, it is obvious I am going to win

Comment by northern

Rob, surely the best brand charcter has to be Coca-Cola’s santa claus. Best game character? Does the little spaceship in galaga have a name?

Comment by tom from the land that time forgot

Irrelevent, best game character is Donkey Kong

Comment by northern

Well to be fair, Santa – in its current guise – was a marketing icon to represent the fizzy brown water, but I could argue it didn’t work because he’s now synonomous with an overpriced and anti-climatic moment in December.

Well – I think I’ll sort out timings/dates for the competition to begin so prepare your arguments ladies and gentlemen.

Comment by Rob

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