The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Looks Familiar?
September 9, 2009, 6:29 am
Filed under: Comment

A number of years ago – thanks to a weird conversation Billy had with some LA plastic surgeon – we helped develop a show for MTV with a production company called Pink Sneakers [don’t ask!] which basically followed teens going in to have plastic surgery to look like their favourite star.

The show – ‘I Want A Famous Face’ – proved to be quite successful and whilst it copped quite a bit of flack from the public … it never actually paid for any of the operations featured and always showed a story of someone who had a very negative experience so there would be some sort of balance to the whole thing.

To be honest, I’ve still not quite grasped why someone would do that.

OK, so you could say it’s more ‘shortcut-to-fame’ type of rubbish … but the fact is, they’re NOT that person and in most cases, don’t even end up resembling the individual they want to mirror.

But there’s something else too …

Imagine someone wants to look like Walther Matthau. [hey, it could happen]

The operation is a huge success, and after the bandages have been removed it’s like Walther’s identical twin is standing infront of you.

Now what?

Does that person pretend he’s Walther when he goes out into the big, bad World?

OK … OK … so forget Walther, imagine it’s Brad Pitt.

What does a guy who looks just like the luckiest man in the World do after the op?

Sure, he can become a look-a-like but is that all life has to offer for them?

When I was young, there were 2 guitarists that I loved more than anyone.

One was Brian May from Queen and the other was Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme.

Because of their huge fame, guitar manufacturers produced replica models for the mainstream market of their famous axes.

Now to be fair, from what I understand, both of these sold quite well but I always resisted – not just because I couldn’t afford it, but because at that time I was convinced I was going to be a Rock Star in my own right and didn’t want to use a guitar that obviously and immediately linked me to a guitarist who would always be better and more distinctive than me, even if I spent a 1000 years practicing 8 hours a day.

And here’s the point … why do these people do it?

Just like a Brian May red special wouldn’t make me sound/play like the poodle-master, neither will a face like Jennifer Anniston’s guarantee you a lifetime of being dumped by Hollywood’s elite and – in the case of John Meyer – not so elite.

Yes, as kids we all pretended to be Batman or someone … but that was when we were kids … so I’m just wondering whether the people who decide to spend so much money on trying to look like someone else are incredibly miserable or just incredibly desperate to have some sort of association with fame?

Well you know what – I don’t care – and there’s a reason for that, and it’s this.

Sure, you might have had to endure pain and expense to look slightly like someone who is slightly well known, but the ultimate act of love is to ensure your kids don’t need to go through such horror, hence California Cry Bank.

I have to write some of what they say, because quite frankly, it beggars belief …

“Have you ever wondered if your favourite donor looks like anyone famous? You know how tall he is and his hair and eye color, but wouldn’t it be great to have an idea of what he really LOOKS like?

Now you can find out with a CLICK of your mouse!

Researched and selected from the limitless expanses of the internet, CCB Donor Look-a-Likes can be actors, athletes, musicians, or anyone else famous enough to be found on the web. Worried you don’t know enough pop-culture or watch enough TV to recognize the names? Not to worry… CCB Donor Look-a-Likes link directly to photos of the 2-3 celebrities our staff has deemed each donor most closely resembles.

CCB Look-a-Likes are judged to be the best of our subjective abilities. Whenever possible, more than one celebrity is listed to give you a better general sense of what the donor looks like. No celebrity is meant as an exact match for any donor, nor should you assume that your future children will look like any celebrity listed. At times, two or more celebrities listed for a single donor may not necessarily resemble each other. In these cases, consider the fact that many people look like both their parents, without their parents actually looking like each other.

CCB Look-a-Likes can be found for each donor on their individual donor page. You can also use the Look-a-Likes Search below to produce a list of donors who resemble the listed celebrities.”

Jesus-fucking-Christ … how depraved and pathetic has the World become?

To be honest, I think I find this one of the most offensive things I’ve ever seen … and would love to spend a year outside their premises either …

1/ Shouting “YOU DON’T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HIM” to everyone who is trying to get some cash in hand, so to speak.

2/ Shouting “YOU SAD, DELUSIONAL BASTARD” or “YOU’RE SO UGLY, I DON’T BLAME YOU” to every person coming in for treatment.

You seriously have to check out the ‘drop down’ box of celebratory names they say they might have a ‘gene-lookalike’ for … it’s the most comprehensive list I’ve ever seen … though why anyone would want a kid that looks like Lou Ferrigno, Bjorn Borg or fucking Russell Crowe [young & old ‘models’] is beyond me.

Mind you, if anyone wants a kid that looks like Harry Hill, then I could be in the money.


18 Comments

you are the master campbell. i salute your fucking genius fusing capabilities.

from plastic surgery to brian may and his fireplace guitar to harry fucking hill. thats a special kind of special talent even if its only useful to late night channel 5 tv presenters and planners.

much better post than yesterdays shit but im very fucking disappointed you didnt go with the obvious headline for the post:

sperm banks. are they just a load of old wank?

you say this company has a prolific male celebratory list but why the fuck couldnt i find a mention of boy george or freddie mercury lookalike come on offer?

is it a gay thing?

are twats who want lookalike kids so fucking stupid they think their offspring would act like a gay icon as well as look like them?

the wanna-be talentless fuckers who employ this company should be shot and id happily pull the fucking trigger.

Comment by andy@cynic

Does Billy ever have non-weird conversations?

Comment by John

i can t decide what i find more disturbing: plastic surgery to look like a celebrity or sperm banks that offer celebrity look-a-like genome, allegedly.

Comment by peggy

I can’t decide what I find more amusing, Rob’s post or Andy’s comment but underneath all the fun is a serious issue and I read something recently that said the trend to resemble someone mildly famous was now the biggest growth area for plastic surgery in the UK.

Comment by Pete

I like where this is going. 🙂

And John. The answer is ‘no’.

Comment by Rob

Oh and dear Andy … your headline suggestion is now being put up on my twitter feed and no, you cannot charge me for it!

Comment by Rob

this trend in the uk is crazy. and the sperm bank. there were signs before, but now it s official. the world is nuts… unless the plastic surgery trend was pointed out in marie claire 🙂

Comment by peggy

I’ve spent 20 minutes looking through the list of possibilities.

There’s surprisingly no JFK, Elvis or Branson but you can have Prince William if you are so inclined.

It’s very disturbing and highly addictive.

Comment by Lee Hill

Remember Lee, if you want a mini-Harry Hill, I can do you a good deal.

Comment by Rob

Maybe that wasn’t the most appropriate thing to say to a client. Sorry … but not as sorry as I’ll have to be to George when he sees this. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Oh dear. This blog gets weirder and more interesting by the day…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Don’t blame the blog, blame society!

Comment by Rob

i heard somewhere the other day that, when asked what they want to be when they grow up, most kids answer ‘famous’ (as opposed to a teacher, fireman or thomas the tank). this one’s for them.

Comment by lauren

Maybe they could be ‘Fireman Sam’ … blending the old with the new, though no doubt the little bastards would know his earning potential and say even Postman bloody Pat would be a better option.

Comment by Rob

When I was 7, our substitute teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said ‘a rockstar’.

He went and got his guitar and an amp. I couldn’t play a note… didn’t stop me improvising though!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

are you saying you became a fucking groupie to the substitute teacher mortimer and why the fuck did he have a guitar with him?

where did you go to school, the fucking college in fame?

Comment by andy@cynic

I never did work out where that guitar came from. It was a sub teacher so not a traditional lesson day! It was all very David Brent

No it was a reply to Lauren’s ‘famous’ comment!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Ha, Rob Mortimer, sounds more like School of Rock than David Brent. Still, at least the substitute teacher gave a crap. Most that I can remember just told us to read or someshit whilst they did sweet F-A!!

Comment by Age




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