The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Who Say’s Singapore Is Out Of Touch With The Big Issues …
February 6, 2009, 6:25 am
Filed under: Comment

The front page!

The fucking front page!!!

Economic turmoil … war … a generation obsessed with lifestyle rather than life … an education system seemingly committed to producing a production line of myopic and arrogant kids … and the front fucking page is about having soap on your hands but no water to wash it off.

I’ve said many times that Singapore is a culture driven by fear – but this is ridiculous – and is a perfect example why I believe they should scrap the National Service and order kids to go backpacking for a year.

I love that country – it was very good and kind to me – but when I see things like this, I fear for it’s people and it’s future.

What next? Articles on what you should do if you run out of milk whilst putting it on your cornflakes? What about a guide of what to do if you can’t afford a Prada bag? Maybe steps on how to handle a foreigner who has different opinions to the ‘Singaporean way’?


Singapore promotes itself around the World as ‘Uniquely Singapore’

Well given the tourism account is currently up for pitch, I might throw my hat in the ring because I’ve already got an idea for them …

Singapore: The [beige] Volvo of countries.

13 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Wait till they realize the panic no toilet paper can cause. They’ll dedicate the whole edition to that.

How did you stay there for 4 years and not get arrested? Actually how did you stay there 4 years?

Comment by Bazza

you know, that could so easily be the cover of the london paper or the mX too.

Comment by lauren

What you should ask my 3″ tall gay friend is why did Singapore let Rob stay for 4 years?

When’s the “full sink but no washing liquid” story coming out. The people of Singapore demand answers to their nightmares.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Billy hanging out with gay guys taller than him should be the next headline.

Comment by John

or could it be that the reigning dynasty’s dream of a Utopian, crime free paradise has truly been realized – and in fact a lack of crime (no one needs anything), drama (everyone is happy and gets along), and angst (apart from the prada bag thing obviously), means this is the most news worthy event that the gutter scouring journos could find. maybe this is the validation of the founders dream and finally he can release his death grip on the reigns of power?

Comment by Mr McG

You could be right McG.

I remember when I first came to Singapore I was asked to work on a pitch for the Police.

My view was that it was the perfect job because there’s no crime so ultimately you would get paid for doing bugger all.

However whilst that might sound awfully similar to a job in adland, the other benefits lift it to a highler level … namely it’s a Government gig, so it’s a job for life and all women like a man in uniform.

I was shouted down by certain people so it never saw the light of day … but given your rationale for this piece of shit news story, I now think I may of been right, ha!

Comment by Rob

we’ve done police work – the stuff they like is the ‘we are everywhere and know everything, if you step out of line we will get you’ variety. the ads exist to prevent the need for police action rather than talk about what they actually do. which is fortunate when you look at the average Singaporean policeman who would probably fail the job interview for bouncer at a Creche. how long would one last in Nottingham town centre on a Friday night (violent crime hot spot of the UK I believe?)
or is this an extension of the new york broken windows crime policy – draw attention to the little things and you reduce the likelehood of people doing the big things..
however this is all good in theory, the scar on the back of my head from being smacked with a pool cue in a dodgy bar off Selegie road tells a different story!

Comment by Mr McG

Whilst Singapore is a fear driven society, as the police are as frightening as a 5 year old girl dressed in a pink tutu holding candy floss – so it seems to me the work you do is more about helping protect the fragile ego of the Police Commisioner than to perpetuate the myth carefully nurtured through proporganda, high profile military presence and general brainwashing.

I remember a Policeman stopping me for j-walking once and asking me …

“What would I have done if a car had been coming?”

I looked at him and replied,

“I wouldn’t of crossed the road”

To which he almost had a brain meltdown and just let me go, walking away wondering if I was a master criminal given I’d given such a convincing answer. Fool.

And when/why did you get hit on the head? It was a client wasn’t it? A client who didn’t like you giving them a real strategy rather than some “status” based cliched marketing idea.

Comment by Rob

Open on a montage of shots of Singapore.

SUPER: Singapore. It’s just not that sort of place, is it?

Comment by Leon Jacobs

Open on a montage of shots of Singapore.

SUPER: What better reason to come to HK.

Comment by Rob

I’m glad to see that toilets are starting to get the coverage that the deserve.

Comment by Marcus

ah ah, [I dont work in adland] but I always found these articles the perfect vehicle to promote Singapore:
‘Come and live/invest here as we are a society with no real problems!’
We can perhaps say the same thing for mainstream media in most countries, but in the 5 years I have spent in SG, articles like this come a dozen a week.
I always thought how the government must really hate the Internet for giving locals the opportunity to gain access to ‘non-aligned’ international media.

Comment by Claudio

Hello Claudio – great to have you pop by and I hope it won’t be an isolated occurance.

I have to say, this is definitely one of my fave daft stories – just edging out the ‘Laksa Wars’ and the previous #1, “Naming and shaming the people who don’t wash their hands in public toilets”.

Sure every country has these sorts of ‘filler’ stories, but only Singapore has them as regular front page leads.

Comment by Rob

Leave a Reply