The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

What Is Love?
January 20, 2009, 2:20 pm
Filed under: Comment

Hi folks … hope all is well with you.

First week in HK, straight into a pitch – and being the caring, sharing guy that I am [read: lazy and plagiarist] I thought you lot could help me.

Basically I need stories of love.

Not the sort of love you can “buy” or the sort of love that comes in the early throws of relationships – but the kind where you have put your needs/wants second to the person who is/was the object of your affection.

[Or examples where your partner put their needs/wants second to yours]

It can be anything – from reading a child their favourite bedtime story day after day after day through to cooking your wife/husband their favourite meal because they’ve had a bad day … I don’t really care, it can be big or small, recent or past … I just need examples where you demonstrated and/or experienced selfless moments of love and affection with a significant other, be it partner, child or parent.

If you can help, I’d be really grateful and if you’d rather write to me in private, you can email me here.

Oh and last thing, I don’t want to know about people’s sex life [well I do, but only to hold it against them] and “coming home” is not an acceptable response.

Thanks folks, really appreciate it …

20 Comments so far
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One day in December I had a day off work and went xmas shopping in Manchester. At lunch I bought some sushi and travelled to my wifes office to deliver it by hand.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

My mother flew to California (from the UK) when my dog died even though she is frightened of flying and never liked my pet much.

What category is this for Robert?

Comment by Bazza

I always stock my food cupboards with my partner’s (at the time) favourite foods, even if I hate them. The food, not the partner.

Comment by Angus

2 words. Foot massages.

Comment by Pete

It’s interesting that you equate selflessness with love. If can obviously be an expression of love, but the only one? Maybe it’s just the brief you’re writing.

Anyway, it got me thinking. Here’s what springs to mind

This morning Alison, not only made light of the fact that I made managed to spread a fine dusting of flour inside 5 different kitchen drawers and over most of a previously spotless kitchen floor as I made cheese scones, but turned the whole thing into a joke routine that had us laughing while leaving me in no doubt how pissed off.

In return I warm up her side of the bed first.

I was also overwhelmed with love by my 6 years old son trying to hide his disappointment at not getting a DS from us at Christmas by telling us how much he really wanted the lightsabre he did get. It would have been truly heartbreaking if we hadn’t known of the DS hidden behind the curtain.

And every time he reaches out his hand and grabs hold mine when we’re out, I get a little teary.

When my less-than-glittering career in film ended abruptly with the collapse of two films and my production company and all I could see where looming debt and despair, I woke up in the morning to find a friend travelled 60 miles in the middle of the night and stuck £1,000 cash through my letterbox with not even a note (not that I didn’t know who it was).

And I remember several posts on a blog from a loving son needing to share his feelings about his father to any stranger who cared to read it.

Comment by simon

Compiling list of my favourite foods.

Comment by Eligible Al.

Amen to that last point Simon.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

you should re-read age’s post about his friend mr v – the one whose “sister” quit her job in new york to be with him back in india.. it’s the most beautiful love story ever.

Comment by lauren

Thanks for all these wonderful stories – and thanks Lauren, I’d forgotten about Age’s post, which is brill.

Just for the record, I don’t think selflessness is the only example of what ‘love is’ – like Simon said, it is an angle we’re working on creatively – and the reason for that is that in these times of personal obsession, I think little acts of selflessness are one of the most demonstrable ways to show how much you care for another, even if sometimes they don’t realise it till much, much later.

Comment by Rob

“you can email me here.” Where?

Comment by Private

Oh yes. Whoops.

rob2 at cynical-world dot com

I’ll go and write “Robert must concentrate” 1000 times on my ficticious blackboard right now.

Comment by Rob

oprah has competition

Comment by andy@cynic

when my (step) Dad met my mum, in the course of 1 week he went from being a single guy living a hand to mouth carefree life to suddenly having a partner and 2 kids to provide for. He moved out of his bedsit and got a 2 bed place for us – which he could not afford and started feeding and clothing 2 hungry and rapidly growing boys. First he got a 2nd job, 3 hours a day cleaning at Tesco – to supplement the wages from the 12 hour night shifts he was doing on a factory production line. then when he couldn’t afford to run his car anymore he started hitch hiking to these jobs and back – which would take up to 2 hours each way – standing in the rain and wind by the side of the road. Slowly he had to sell off possessions – including his record collection which he had been collecting for 10 years and then the hi-fi he played them on – which he had bought as components and lovingly built up. Finally, one Saturday afternoon, we all took the bus into Plymouth so he could pawn the gold seiko watch he had bought in Singapore whilst in the Navy in the 60’s. This was his pride and joy, still having it on his wrist seemed almost a symbol that we hadn’t hit rock bottom yet. He was going to pawn it, pay some bills with money to stop us being cut off and use a little of the remainder to take us all to a cafe for lunch – eating in a cafe! this was a huge event we were looking forward to. I remember with total clarity, how he went into the pawn shop and we waited outside on the pavement. After a few moments he came back out – still holding the watch, doing his very best not to let us see how he was feeling. The watch was a fake covered in gold paint. He gave me the watch then and there – its on my bedroom shelf now. The point is: Never once did he express any regret at what he was having to do for us. never once did he put his own wants or needs above ours, we never, ever felt like any kind of burden – or that he wasn’t the happiest guy in the world for having us. Thats selfless love. I hope I can be as strong and selfless for my kids one day

Comment by Mr McG

A while back I wrote a post asking ‘where have all the heros gone?’ … I now know where one resides. Top story, top man. Thank you.

Comment by Rob

I asked around the office yesterday and got the following.

He knows I’m not perfect but makes me feel as I am.

I always warm up her side of the bed first.

I once practiced a recipe for 5 days because she mentioned it was her favourite.

I turn over from the football, cos she hates it.

I broke up with what I thought was the love of my life at the time and my stepfather – a northerner of few words – took me to play snooker. You bought the drinks and racked up the balls. Then, and you could see him squirming about it, he asked, “Wanna talk about it?” “Nah,” I replied. His relief was visible. And I knew if he I said yes, he would listened and squirmed all night

I let never have a go at him if he goes out on a bender, doesn’t call and doesn’t come home – because I know he needs to blow off steam. But then I also trust him.

I once came home very late without my keys and slept in the garden rather than wake my partner

He doesn’t care about my morning breathe

He can buy me something I’d never pick out and it will really suit me.

And can I add to Mr McG – your dad is one helluva man.

Comment by simon

Do you work at Mills & Boon Simon?

I asked around my office and the responses I got sounded like we should be called Sexist Inc, not cynic. And that includes the comments of our lovely ladies. Excluding the lovely Katerina, who is always wonderful, caring and loving.

Can I have the code to the printer now please K?

Comment by Robert

I did sensor some of the more colourful ones and I guess we were all loved up what with the inauguration, that and the fact we’d just seen our last two books, The Arabian Stallion and Mr Miltford of Harcourt Manor went top 100 at Borders this week.

Comment by simon

Thank God … I was worried we’d become the magnet for filth not the Betty Ford Clinic for the (ad) disenfranchised, ha

Comment by Rob

Sorry if im late on this…

In love I find myself doing small little dumb things… like checking THEIR horoscope too in order to see what their day/week is going to be like.

Comment by Age

Oh, and pretty much all of this…

Comment by Age

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