The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

“Tide Total Care is a breakthrough, new laundry detergent that goes beyond outstanding cleaning and stain fighting to help reveal the 7 signs of beautiful clothes. By combining the best of Beauty Care and Fabric Care technologies, Tide Total Care elevates the standard of fabric care to an inspiring, new realm: Fashion Care.”

Yep, it’s another Landor foot-in-mouth/tongue-in-cheek statement.

Photo: Arcanaartworks

What the fuck are the ‘7 signs of beautiful clothes’?

Well according to the illusionists at Landor, they’re …

Cleans Thoroughly
Protects Colour
Preserves Shape
Maintains Finish
Enhances Softness
Prevents Pills [?????]
Fights Stains

Hmmmmn … is it just me or does that sound awfully like every other washing powder brand claim?

Maybe I’m being harsh but rather than ‘breakthrough technology’ this sounds very much like cheap marketing wank – but it can’t be can it, because LANDOR did it and we all know they’re amazing.

Alright, enough of this sarcasm.

The thing is, this sort of self indulgent comment drives me nuts because when push comes to shove, what’s been done is nothing but lazy marketing …

Yes, I know that’s easy for me to say given I am not offering an alternative and don’t know the issues behind the brief- but the thing is, all Landor have actually done is compile a bunch of ‘cleaning benefits’ and give it an umbrella label … a label that is almost identical to Oil Of Ulay’s “7 Signs Of Ageing” that Saatchi’s came up with yonks ago.

Photo: Isoglossia

Putting that aside, the thing that really bothers me is that the whole concept just doesn’t really make sense.

Look at those listed attributes again. Are they really trying to say they are the signs of beautiful clothes?

I know I have all the fashion sense of a 14 year old nerd, but surely it has more to do with quality of fabric and cut than softness and finish?

Maybe this idea will work – but if it does, I believe it will owe more to Tide’s distribution strength than it will to this bland blanket communication strategy.

I’ve said it many times, but I believe the future of business is about the creation of active brands … brands that take a stand and make things happen rather than just try and rephrase old statements in an attempt to look fresh.

This doesn’t mean you have to invest huge amounts interms of R&D … but it does mean looking at new angles, understanding culture, finding unexpected relevance, DOING STUFF.

I’ve said it many times, but I believe TESCO’s are a great model of the future.

Rather than sit back and reap the rewards for their previous efforts, they go out and fight for their customer’s loyalty every single day.

Not by just making food cheaper … but finding what is really important in people’s lives and finding a way to weave that into their offering … whether it’s helping provide computers for schools with decreased Government investment through to introducing carbon neutral credit cards to let lazy people feel they are helping the environment.

Hell, if a bunch of sad bastards [that’s us by the way] can get brands as diverse as Virgin, SONY, Piaggio, Greenpeace, Google and Taj Hotels to do stuff [to name but a few], I am sure more ‘premium’ organizations could do it in their sleep.

Infact, George is currently in talks with a company about one of the greatest ideas I’ve ever heard – and if he pulls it off – then I would hope Landor and the like would do the decent thing and admit they’re a bunch of logo and television ad makers.

However, things are even worse than this …

Photo: TheDamnMushroom

You see I can sort-of understand why people like Dale Doyle – the Creative Director [Hahahaha] of Landor Associates – would say such rubbish because at the end of the day, he has to justify the multi-million dollar fee they’ve just liberated from Tide’s owners, however if you go here, you can read some of the most mental comments ever written by people who I assume have no reason to be such corporate toadies, unless they are applying for a high paying/low doing job at Landor.

I know it’s Monday … the start of a new week … the beginning of new opportunities … but when I see things like this and realize how much money gets chucked away by companies who simply want to feel they’re rubbing shoulders with the intellectual elite [which is possibly the greatest brand job Landor have ever pulled off] I just feel sick because in every agency across the World, there’s people in there who have ideas that can really make a difference to client’s business in interesting, relevant, creative ways – and yet they either don’t get heard, or they get given away for the price Branding Consultants charge for a cup of tea.

The CEO’s of adland need to take a long hard look at what they’ve made our industry because when they say the problem is “we’ve lost our place at the company board room table”, they need to understand that it’s more their fault than their clients.