The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

i hope everyone who reads this blog understands this post shows how fucking brave campbell is.

yes brave.

you might think its a cheeky dig at some insignificant country that has sun and some top birds but this is a post by a man who is tougher than clint eastwood as dirty fucking harry. if dirty harry had shit taste in music clothes and electronics.

you wanna know why? well ask mr fucking residency suicide what oz immigration have him doing at the moment and then youll know this is one of the bravest acts youll ever of seen.

hang on am i saying brave? i meant fuckwitism.

if youre in the market for property in australia dont fucking despair i think theres going to be some nice houses going cheap in a few days unless he has to sign them over to the wife to stop her divorcing him.

well done campbell now just slag off iran and north korea and youll have no where else to fucking turn unless theres a seat going on galatica

i have nothing to say.

lauren fucking brown has nothing to say? what the fuck? i am assuming its because you are a boiling cauldron of hate but im not ignoring the fact it could be because you agree with planner rob. for fucks sake make it the former, the latter would be too disheartening for me to fucking bare.

and thank you campbell for clearing up my over eagerness with the fucking enter key. you have some uses sometimes

dodds i have left campbell a voicemail with explicit (very fucking explicit) instructions to transcribe it into an email and send it on to you so dont press “trash” like everyone normally does when they get a rob email. stop shaking with excitement

If you hadn’t written such a funny comment about ‘chaps’, I would tell you to piss off – but as it made me smile on this early morning, Mr D can expect an email winging its way into his box.

Hmmmmn, another euphamism there …

And Lauren, what’s the point of writing baiting posts if you don’t bite? Mind you, following our discussions about the Australian outpost of a company rather close to my heart/life, I think Andy might be right when he said you didn’t respond because it’s true. 🙂

Tall poppy syndrome eh? I love how Australia even thinks that’s something unique to them when it’s been in existence in many countries for centuries – and to be honest, even then I question is Australia really lives up to this because as long as they fly the ‘union jack [and a few stars]’ flag on a World stage, they’re treated like all conquering heroes.

As I said, I do genuinely love the country and think it has given the World a whole heap of wonderful and amazing things – I just don’t believe it’s limited to just sport, music and film, quite the opposite infact – which is why it’s lack of publicity [which Australian Government wholeheartedly encourages] makes me ill.

Anyway I should stop with this cultural cliche stuff – I recently got told off by my Mum for inferring Italians are cowards – especially because her family were quite well known for fighting against social, cultural and economic wrongs. I tried to tell her it was all a joke and I’m an equal opportunity insulter, but it was to no avail – so I think it’s best I move onto tomorrow’s post as quickly as I can, haha!

Would love to hear what you think about the French 😉

Thank you for not insulting my soon to be client Andy. You are showing a new found level of maturity and business sense. 🙂

I’m with you on Kylie Robert. I used to think she was sex on legs but there’s a sense of opportunist about her at the moment which I find a little unattractive. Then at 40+ she can’t keep going around in hotpants for much longer so she’s most likely making decisions based on a need to keep her pension topped up. 🙂

It is at this point I publically declare my wife Sarah is my number 1. I’ve learned from Andy’s mistakes. 🙂

On Kylie…

I think she’s rubbish because for a women who has grown up through the industry, relationship turmoils, has had cancer, beat it and come back… her music is still brainless, meaningless pop shit. I mean, DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING PERSONALITY? DO YOU LIVE? If she had REAL talent she’d be able to (ask her writers to) pen a track which makes me connect with her and maybe feel something for Christ’s sake, even Britney’s writers create topical songs for her.

Anyways, whatever…

perhaps australia needs to include ‘celebrities’ or ‘successful people’ on its monthly trade accounts:

imports: aaron eckhart (US), naomi watts (UK)
exports: heath ledger (US), peter andre (UK).

that way, we’ll get a more accurate picture of our ‘assets’.

You really think it’s best to move on to another post? It’s your optimism that I admire.

Well I’m glad this post got the desired response though it’s quite disappointing only “Ronan” took the bait.

Saying that, I think I can counter Ronan’s point because whilst Hugh Jackman was born in Australia, his parents were/are British so that means he’s actually a Pom.

Lets face it, if I was born in Iraq whilst my parents were on holiday there [ahem] I wouldn’t be an Iraqi, I’d still be half English, half Italian … so given Hugh’s folks were both from [not so] Great Britain, the Peter Allen Wolverine thespian is an immigrant of Australia rather than an Australian.

But then is any Aussie a real Aussie apart from the Aboriginals 🙂

Come on lets have some oomph on this please – I’ve just been in a preso with Landor and have steam that needs releasing.

[For the record, I made a “comment” within 11 minutes – even quicker than I expected!]

Now back to business. What’s up with Andy? He’s in the shape of his life. Having a fired up monologue here. Bloody hell.

And I can’t really follow all your rants about Australia. It has sun, it has beaches. Hey, I’m a kraut, I should be the one ranting about my country.

Oh and thanks to Andy for pointing out Australia actually wants to kick me out. How bad must someone be for the World Jail to regard them as a non-desirable. It’s almost an honour!

I have 3 passports and 4 nationalities.

Tall poppy syndrome exists worldwide and always has – if it didn’t the celebrity magazine business wouldn’t be so huge. It also reflects all our “if only” delusions and perhaps an innate human desire for equality. As I’m getting far too serious, I’ll end by wondering allowed why the germans invented Schadenfreude?

i know niko, but i go through ‘homeland lovin’ everytime rob bitches about the place and i hate the whole concept of nation-based allegiance or vilification

Dear Seb,
Hugh Jackman’s career most emphatically did NOT “begin” in London’s West End, and Australia gave him rather more than just a place to be born. The Australian-born Mr. Jackman spent ALL of his school time in Australia, learned his craft in Australia, made his stage debut in Australia and in fact had two acclaimed (award-winning) stage roles in two different musicals in Australia before ever going to work in London, made his TV debut in Australia, made his film debut in Australia…are we sensing a pattern here? Yes, Mr. Jackman did star in Oklahoma! in London’s West End and that became a launch pad for his U.S. career, but he already had a career in acting before going to London. The Aussies quite decidedly already had Mr. Jackman first. By birth, I believe Mr. Jackman does hold dual citizenship in Great Britain, but he doesn’t consider himself British. The Aussies still have him; Mr. Jackman quite proudly, and quite rightly, proclaims himself to be an Australian born and bred. Shouldn’t that settle that particular matter? In everyone’s case, not just Mr. Jackman’s?

And dear Rob, by your logic, I am Welsh, or perhaps Scottish, despite the fact that I was born in the U.S. and have resided there my entire life, since my great-grandparents were Welsh (maternal) and Scottish (paternal). Please, let’s be serious. No, it is not likely that most of us can be called truly indigenous to our home countries. I understand your point about parents who travel and have a child in a country other than their home country…but we all claim a “home” country. I think that might be the point of all this…what IS “American”, or “Australian”, or “British”? Does a piece of paper make us one nationality over another, or is it our immigrant antecedents that determines that, or does it only come down to how tied we feel in our hearts to a country and its people? I’m just asking…

Ronan, the fact is we DO need a piece of paper to determine which country we can call home – that’s why so many people put themselves through incredible dangers to achieve that very goal … however I do understand what you’re saying and you’re right, I’m just being a pedantic shit however I also think Australia is one of the worst culpritd in its total myopic attitude towards it’s achievements and place/value in the World … and that’s a shame because the things that are truly great are often overlooked and the things that need solving are hidden under the carpet.

Would you like me to do a post on “WHY DID MY PARENTS CALL ME THIS?” … maybe we’ll agree on that 🙂

and campbell a few points.

1 youre supposed to be on a vc with us. i know its boring but it might be nice if you do what the fuck youre paid to do once in a while

2 you should keep your ipod singing shit in a very dark cave and forget about it because bringing it up reminds people about it and makes them show it your google friends

3 youre a twat

4 but youre my twat

I am Hollywood.

You all sound very smart and talented, Jemma and friends. Ever consider careers in film?

This is the greatest (and most disappointing) insight you’ll ever get into the myopic view of Australia… read the comments.

I’m actually ashamed…

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/comments/0,22023,24540298-11088,00.html

fuck i hate this country.

no fucking wonder hugh jackman pretends to be an aussie. the fuckers would turn on him if he fessed up and said he was a proud fucking brit.

hey ronan i didnt see your comment on that sport story or did you write under an assumed name?

Hi Katherine … of course I do, you don’t expect me to slag off a nation whilst actually still living in it do you? 🙂

I think this is where I counter your argument with a careful crafter response.

“FUCK YOU MIDGET MAN”

Yep, I think that puts you firmily in your place, ha!

So it’s come to that … the old power-play.

To be honest I’m impressed with how long you’ve with held playing that card because if I were you, I’d of used it from day 1, haha.

OK, in the interests of George’s heart [he’s still fragile after my Diet Coke diatribe] I shall clarify what I may of said previously for fear of it getting lost in translation.

What I meant to say was …

“What a wonderfully witty response, your brains are truly disproportionate to you physical stature.”

🙂

Oh don’t worry about me Katherine – all joking aside – I am happy to throw stones because the too many people in this World [especially in countries like Oz, US and Singapore] adopt an attitude of “as long as it doesn’t bother me, it’s OK” and that’s one of the most destructive and inhumane attitudes around.

Lets remember Australia is the country that picked up the homeless when the Pope came to visit so the World would be presented with a ‘clean image’ when the homeless are exactly who the Pope should be using his power to help. But hey, as long as “our Nicole” gets a nod for an Accademy Award the World is fine isn’t it.

Sorry – but as you probably guessed, underneath this pisstake post are issues that really bother me 🙂

How long have you been waiting to use that eh Lee? Thanks alot … you win the award for biggest backhanded compliment EVER. I wouldn’t be surprised if I learnt Andy wrote that for you.

Worse, I am grudgingly impressed by it – so I can’t wait to see you next week with my 2 cups of boiling starbucks 🙂

Notice how we in Australia are not claiming you Rob!

And be careful Skid [ie: Todd] … you might get me looking into your family tree and finding out you’re more British than me!!

And the Flight Of the Concords is funnier than Kath & Kim [excluding the 1st series] so all in all, the Kiwi’s are better/nicer than Aussies.

Anyone feel they want to add to this thread? Ha.

Oh and Lauren, Jonathan is ‘talking to someone’. Don’t know who or what this means, but hope to have some news for you very soon.

OK, to even it up – how about the fact the Kiwi’s have the ugliest prime minister in the World while you lot have the ‘most like a chipmunk’?

Better?

Hell, I’d rather have a chipmunk than teflon Johnnie – the smuggest bastard alive. Till he lost. Hahahaha.HAhaHahAha.HahAHaha!