The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The Secret Behind J Lo’s Behind …
October 22, 2008, 7:41 am
Filed under: Comment

Bottom Lifter by you.

No, it’s not a joke, it’s the ‘Double O’ push up panties that are available for the bargain price of just US$62.

Sixty two bucks to have an ass that looks like it can kick start a Boeing 747 … what happened to just eating 3 trays of Krispy Kremes?

It can only be a matter of time before someone launches the ‘Ball Sack Balloon’ … a device that immediately makes you look like a real-life Buster Gonad.

Can you imagine being the R&D guy who came up with this?

The little blonde haired, blue eyed son looks up to his Father and with his angelic face asks …

“What did you do today Daddy?”

The man looks down, and with a tear in his eye simply replies,

“Prostitute myself”

… before slowly walking up the stairs to the bathroom, slitting his wrists and lying in a bath of warm water, waiting for death to wash over him whilst muttering how he didn’t spend 7 years studying at engineering college just to design a pair of push up pants.


[Thanks – I think – to Freddie for sending me this]

27 Comments so far
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Comment by John

yes campbell youve really gone back to writing posts about planning havent you but i dont care because thats even more boring than watching fucking grass grow especially when the other option is seeing a bird with her ass out.

god bless fred and his sexual deviant swedish genes for finding this. best bit of fucking planning hes ever done πŸ™‚

Comment by andy@cynic

your first because you have no life.

most people try and hide that fact but not you dodds which makes you a confident tough guy. or a super sad twat

Comment by andy@cynic

The latter no doubt.

Comment by John

state the fucking obvious why dont you dodds πŸ™‚

Comment by andy@cynic

uh, rob – what’s the difference between this and the wonderbra that you guys all go on about as the best piece of planning/advertising ever, yadda, yadda, yadda? lift and separate.. same concept…

Comment by lauren

Surely this, along with the Wonderbra, is simply false advertising?

Comment by Ben

Actually Lauren I’ve never regarded the Wonderbra as great planning … great product development perhaps … but not necessarilly great planning.

And yes Ben, this bum lifter is potentially false advertising but if we take that issue to its natural conclusion, so is deoderant, leaving the seat down when you’re on a first date, pretending you care about Ancient French philosophers and claiming advertising embraces and celebrates fresh thinking πŸ™‚

Nice to see Dodds and Andy flirting up a storm. It’ll all end in tears, especially when Andy knows who Dodds has “married”.

Comment by Rob

ok, so what’s the difference between the wonderbra product development and this one, then? apart from the naming genius (on the part of the wonderbra). πŸ™‚

of course, married life means that i’ll no longer have to invest either of these things top products… what a shame.

Comment by lauren

Personally I think one of the key differences is visibility – in the sense a Wonderbra [and it’s benefits] are often part of the fashion look whereas an arse lifter will rarely be. Unless you’re in Las Vegas πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

Hate to correct you there Rob, but the arse is part of a fashion. in fact it was Alexander Mcqueen who pioneered the low arse cut out pants in a show back some years, that now occupy the streets.

Comment by niko

so a lift is a must have to bring out the subtle contours of the jeans…

Comment by niko

There is a big difference between a low cut pant and an arse on display Niko. Though you live in Amsterdam so you probably don’t know that πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

Rotterdam rob.

Comment by niko


Comment by Rob Mortimer

In the interest of making this post useful – Niko, my friend wants a recommendation for a lunch location in Rotterdam today. Ideas please?

Comment by John

Aren’t they great? You missed the man pantyhose! That shirt you gave Neil should have been a hint that you don’t read fashion blogs πŸ˜€

Now who’s from Nottingham…hands up

Comment by Andrea

May I suggest Hotel New York,
restaurant Zeezout (only fish)
The Euromast (highest building in Rotterdam)

Comment by niko

of course restaurant Parkheuvel is great place.

Comment by niko

restaurant/hotel Bazar for the middle eastern flavor

Comment by niko

Thankyou – I shall pass these on.

Comment by John

They went for the fish option.

Comment by John

Rob will love this blog is now a Lonely Planet guide but I don’t think his friends at Lonely Planet will be so delighted.

Comment by Bazza

great choice. last time I was there they had this nice little fois gras starter as well.

Comment by niko

Restaurant guides?

Fois Gras?

What the hell is going on with this noveaux riche stuff? What’s wrong with Nick The Greek’s chippy on Radcliffe Road for a Kebab Cob Special???

Comment by Rob

wow, you got internet in your limo rob?!

nice πŸ™‚

Comment by niko

this should come with marmalade. as a porno promo gift.

Comment by facu

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