The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Is Burt Reynolds A Dancing Queen?
August 22, 2008, 6:50 am
Filed under: Comment

Sorry for the pathetic blog headline. I must admit I hate titles like that – it’s all very ‘shock-jock’, designed to illicit outrage and reaction – and I promise I’ll do better next time.

Hmmmmn hang on, maybe that has come out wrong.

I’m not suggesting the title of this post will cause mass condemnation – I mean lets face it, it’s pretty tame – I was referring to post that have titles like ‘All dogs should be destroyed because all dogs are potential violent killers’.

Jesus, what am I going on about?

It’s not like you care … hell, even I don’t really give a shit.

Anyway the point of this post [or attempted point] is that having read Mr M’s rant about male hair protection, I saw this ad in Hong Kong …


There are so many things I love about this ad …

Of course the headling, ‘DANCE WITH HAIR’ is my absolute fave bit. I mean, how bloody genius is that?

I would kill to know how they came up with that line.

Did it come from quite possibly the greatest male haircare insight ever uncovered … or was because the copywriter was drunk and had Dancing With The Stars on in the background?

Then there’s the fact the bloke in the ad is wearing a bloody hat.

Surely an ad talking about dancing with hair should feature a man … errrrrm, dancing with hair?

Maybe that’s why they got the bloke to do some Michael Jackson, circa 1984, dance move – fuck with people’s head so much that they can’t work out what is going on.

Of course there is one answer that could tie all this madness together … the company behind this ‘hairloss treatment’ is a HAT MANUFACTURER.

Lets look at the facts …

Las Vegas

1 They talk about DANCING WITH HAIR – but they don’t actually say you will be dancing with MORE hair

2 The ad features a man WEARING A HAT when there’s no real point to it

3 Their ‘tagline’ – HAIRLOSS HELPER – is so ambiguous it could be for anything, from hair treatment, to hats to pillow stuffing companies

4 A hat can cover male baldness just as well as a wig [though you look abit daft wearing it in bed]

So when when you connect all the clues, you start to realise this may not be one of those shitty Asian ads [which is just like those shitty Western ads] it could be an example of real creative and strategic genius – the sort of thing that should win an Effie, not just acclaim on my highly regarded [cough, cough, splutter, splutter] blog.

Hell, despite having been a baldy-bastard for so long that I can’t even remember having hair, I might call them up myself …

Brrrrrring Brrrrrring …

Brrrrrring Brrrrrring …

Brrrrrring Brrrrrring …

“Hello, is that the Hairloss Helpers?

I said, is that Hairloss Helpers?

Do you speak English?

Does anyone there speak English?

OK I’ll wait …


Hello? Do you speak English?

Cool, is this the number for Hairloss Helpers?

It is?

Brilliant … I was wondering if you could help me …”

[Cut to a calender with the pages being ripped off to denote time passing]

Oh my God I cannot tell you how much better I feel.

I feel alive …

I feel free …

I feel like I want to dance …

Shit, it really does work!!!

28 Comments so far
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you fucking freaky freak. what the fuck were you thinking.

the post is above average and the hat is bordering on cool but the dancing? fuck me, you make a 5 year old ballet class look like they should be in flashdance. i know youre taking the piss (you are taking the piss arent you?) but think of our health. our eyes cant take shit like that.

on the bright side i think we should approach mark burnett with a new reality concept, “i think i cant dance but i dont mind humiliating myself, my family and my colleagues proving it”

no fucking wonder billy is leaving πŸ™‚

Comment by andy@cynic

this is one of the funniest, most tripped out posts on this blog ever… lmfao!

Comment by Age

Oh Robert, you are so delightfully ridiculous.

I haven’t seen the children so excited since Disney on ice and they are pestering me to find our when you will be coming over to give a live performance.

I know you are very busy so please take your time. No seriously, take as long as you want.

Love to you and Jill.

Comment by Mary Bryant

If Burt is the dancing queen then that must make you the unchoreographed court jester.

Please stop poisoning my beautiful children’s minds.

Comment by George

First you expand this blog to include your “singing”, then you introduce home made films and now you entrance us with your dancing.

Is there no end to your talents? I think the answer is a definitive yes.

Comment by Lee Hill


Comment by Billy Whizz

You are my John Travolta.
Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

i think you mean john revolta

Comment by andy@cynic

This is almost as good as your ipod singing post. I guess this means your business conversations have now been all completed. πŸ™‚

Comment by Pete

Hello Robert. You don’t need to wear a hat because your twinkletoes dance moves stop people from looking upi at your bald head. I look forward towards the next office party.

Comment by Katerina

I don’t know why I bother writing any posts, no one gives a shit anyway – you just respond when I am humiliating myself to within an inch of my life. I suppose I’d do the same, hahaha.

And besides, I did say I’d do a dance if my beloved Forest got promoted …

… so lets consider this my debt paid πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

jesus christ!! i agree with age – easily one of the trippiest of your posts, lovely – it’s fantastic. i’ve got no idea what the fuck is going on with your feet there, but i like it. although, remind me to never go clubbing with you πŸ™‚

Comment by lauren

I’m 38 … the only clubbing I do is seals.

[Incase Juanita reads this: THAT WAS A JOKE!]

Comment by Rob

Good job this is your personal blog.

Comment by Paul Charles

Hi Paul … goodness you’ve braved the elements and come here again. How fortunate it’s just at the exact moment I am making a complete arse of myself, ha.

I take it by your comment you mean that if this was the company blog, our value would go up 50-fold. Hey mate, I hear you – but if that happened then your boss wouldn’t be able to afford to work with us and we all know how much he loves that – or at least talking to George πŸ™‚

See you soon and don’t worry, the presentation will be 100% serious – this blog is just where I can let off steam so in corporate situations I can be all calm and rational, ha.

Comment by Rob

I used to think there was a fine line between brave and stupid but you’ve proved me wrong again Rob. Brilliant post but for every wrong reason imaginable. Did someone put lemon in your DC?

Comment by Bazza

where were you when I needed you? that astaire guy was a fucking disaster and don’t get me started on gene “umbrella” kelly. fuck me, he was bad. even lionel blair has more talent than that bastard. and why did he always turn up with a fucking brolly? we were in hollywood for fucks sake- it never rains in hollywood, sam goldwyn did a deal with god about that. well thanks a fucking lot for making me realise my professional life was a fucking joke. we wont even be able to do some dirty dancing when youre dead because youre going to be going “down there” so thats another opportunity ive missed out on. just what kind of mean spirited shit are you campbell? and buy some fucking proper shoes your ankles will go if you carry on like that. love ginger

Comment by ginger rogers

PS. I just watched this again to check something I thought about, and yes, you ARE indeed wearing your beloved Berkies. Hahaha awesome. lol.

Comment by Age

Camp David

Comment by northern

Camp Bell more like.

Comment by John

rob – you’re not that old yet, for god’s sake. if charles frith can go dancing in the clubs of beijing until GMT kind of hours, then surely you can!

Comment by lauren

Do they still play Queen in these discotheques?

Comment by Rob

Now it makes sense why you dance like Freddie.

Comment by Elvis Lum

Holy crap it’s Mr Lum. How the hell did you find this place? I thought you were far too busy/clever/lazy/stupid to find this dark hole on the interweb.

I heard on the grape vine you left Popcorn – I won’t say “I told you so” but … πŸ™‚

Anyway, where are you now? Actually, it might make more sense if you email me because I know no one on here will give a damn about hearing your news – or better still, call me as it’s Friday evening and I’m going home.

Great – and shocking – to hear from you, and I’ll ignore your insult given you like calling yourself Elvis!!!

[Oh, you’ll like this if you haven’t seen it before … ]

Call me on either the US or SG number … but call me now, I want to get the dirt πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

Dance with Hair turns your skin a different colour, alters your nose shape, and makes you buy theme parks?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I told you they were evil. Look what they’ve done to you.

Comment by Marcus

You are so right Marcus – it would seem I’ve joined the modern moonies … save me, save me … oh hang on, it’s quite nice here … leave me alone to dance, leave me alone to dance πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob


Comment by Marcus

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