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Hotel advertising pisses me off.
Actually, hotel marketing as a whole tends to make me want to kill.
[Some examples that cause my blood pressure to rise from a thousand paces can be seen here / here and here]
Of course there’s the odd nice idea [and no, I’m not just including the stuff we’ve worked on, haha] however in the main it tends to all be contrived, clichéd wank aimed at making low self esteem business twat/wannabe’s feel good about themselves.
Just recently the Marriott Hotel group launched a campaign sooooooo wanky that it genuinely set a new global benchmark for wank …
OK … OK … so on one hand they should be congratulated for avoiding the usual ‘You Work Hard And Are Really, Mega Successful So If You Want Something That Makes You Happy, We’ll Make It Happen Because You’re Worth It’ … however whatever way you cut it, it truly is a big steaming pile of turd.
While I travel quite a lot, I’ve never actually stayed in a Marriott hotel – and after seeing that ‘ad’ I’m glad because the last thing I want when I order a burger is the bloody Room Service guy spilling my chips everywhere as he pirouettes into my fucking room.
However there is a new ‘gun’ in town.
A hotel that has created such a pretentious bit of self-congratulatory rubbish that I had to watch it 5 times in a row to see if it was all some giant piss–take.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the internal commercial for the Regent Hotel Shangahi …
HOW FUCKING CRAP IS THAT EH????
I just love how the music and voiceover seems to come from a 1980’s sci-fi adventure. I’m sure they thought it added ‘dramatic effect’ but to me it was pure ‘comedy.
And what about the words?
EYES SEE
EARS LISTEN
FIRES HOT
WATER COOL
No shit sherlock. And they say that comes from some ancient Zen poem? Hahahaha …
If that really is the case – then all I can say is this Zen shit is easy.
What about …
NOSES SMELL
FINGERS TOUCH
LEGS MOVE
BOTTOMS SHIT
Deep and meaningful eh? Christ, even my beloved Jill’s ramblings make more sense than coherent.
Look I have no issue with companies singing their praises – but it helps if [1] they can live up to it and [2] it’s not pretentious bollocks.
Given the Regent Hotel has the sort of service even British Rail in 1983 couldn’t of succumbed to, the only praise I can bestow on this film is that despite suffering from terrible food poisoning, it made me laugh till I puked. Literally.
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what the fuck is that shit?
the people behind the mariott ad need lynching but that regent film is sure comedy.
go on campbell, admit it, you did it as a christmas pisstake didnt you. no fucker, however pretentious could actually make that and be serious about it.
im more inclined to set fire to the regent than stay in it which begs the question why you fucking stayed in it or are you going to “blame” it on a client again.
lee is this your doing 🙂
its a sad day when robs copywriting skills are better than some dodgy luxury hotels but it does add credence to dodds claim you have been attending copywriting school while ive been away. obviously not a good school though.
both these “ads” are fucking atrocious, like fucking fucking atrocious and people need to be brought to my kangaroo court for justice to be painfully administered and i dont mean that in a good way.
good post campbell and you know how rarely i say that.
Comment by andy@cynic December 18, 2007 @ 8:15 amOnly thing worse than pretension is low budget pretension…
Comment by Rob Mortimer December 18, 2007 @ 8:17 amWe are innocent Andy, Rob will have to blame this on someone else to retain any ounce of credibility.
Comment by Lee Hill December 18, 2007 @ 8:32 amThat is truly breathtaking. At least the Regent have the good sense to only expose that film to people already staying in their hotel because by the time they see it, their money is safely in the Regents bank account.
The only reason I could come up with for that Marriott spot was a competitive hotel group made and paid for it but apprentely not, because when I googled the campaign, this is what I found.
“We wanted to create a motivating and highly relevant campaign that stands out clearly against the more traditional product-led approach to business advertising,” said Belinda Pote, senior vice president of international brand marketing.
We chose ‘dance’ as the vehicle because of its inherent synchronicity, visual appeal and the fact that every country has its own cultural variations.
The campaign speaks to our achievement-driven business travelers across the globe in a language that allows us to portray the diversity of our Marriott hotel offering and demonstrate how our hotels work in perfect harmony to support the needs of these travelers.
“We recognize that conducting business on a global stage is hard. These 24/7 achievers can’t perform at their peak if they have to spend time and energy adjusting to new places, new people and new cultures.
Our Marriott hotels and staff are focused on making it easier for these achievers to concentrate on performing at their best all the time. We are confident that travelers will relate to our message.”
Lots of marketing “buzz words” for you to froth at the mouth over Robert 🙂
Inherent synchronicity
Achievement-driven
24/7 achievers
Lovely.
Belinda Pote is either going to be out of a job in 6 months or be hired by the Government PR machine. I can’t wait till their next campaign launches, “Marriott: For the Achievement-driven”
Great post, I’m sure the Marriott and Regent will greet you with open arms should you ever stay there again.
I’m going on holiday tomorrow so I wish you and everyone who pops on this blog a great Christmas and wonderful 2008. Hope you all have a great time and my holiday has nothing to do with the fury surrounding our first Nike commercial 🙂
Comment by Pete December 18, 2007 @ 9:09 amCan I just point out that Belinda Pote used to work at McCann-Erickson, the DEMAND Strategy experts. Enough said?
All other comments on this thread are superflous or designed to make me look even sillier than I am – however for the record, a client DID choose that hotel for me and I am entirely innocent.
For once.
Comment by Rob December 18, 2007 @ 9:43 amYou suffered from food poisoning Robert? Karma. 🙂
Comment by George December 18, 2007 @ 10:05 amYou’ve been storing all that angst up since your loo-loving episodes in India?
I’m impressed … not with your memory, but because I never realised you were such a vindictive little shit.
No wonder I like you so much! 🙂
Comment by Rob December 18, 2007 @ 10:08 amHey don’t knock the Demand Strategy! Lol, joking joking…
When I read these posts on your blog they make me laugh because I can picture you sitting on the bed in your hotel room watching them on TV and just getting so fucking mad. Hehehe!!
Comment by Age December 18, 2007 @ 11:08 amI shout at the telly like some total loon!
But then shit things ALWAYS happen to me when I travel … and shit is the operative word, sadly!
Comment by Robert December 18, 2007 @ 11:47 ami love it when you go ballistic like this – it’s awesome!
i don’t even need to be able to watch those vids to know what those ads are like (ah, being on dial-up is so nostalgic). my favourite hotel chain ads are the star hotel ones that appear on the emirates in-flight entertainment. holy shit they make me giggle.
what i find even more hilarious is that hotel chains bother spending the money on a tvc at all. people who are responsible for bringing in the big bucks of hotel expenditure (ie corporate
Comment by lauren December 18, 2007 @ 3:22 pmtravel booking agents and PAs) never choose them based on a fucked up commercial. ha!
Good point young Lauren – which is another reason why we handled the Taj campaign in a more novel way.
Go here …
http://robcampbell.wordpress.com/2007/11/06/the-hotel-industry-is-in-a-mess/
… then scroll down.
Glad my ballistic nature makes you happy. Consider it my Christmas treat to you, ha!
Comment by Rob December 18, 2007 @ 3:40 pmWhere is the inherent synchoncity in dance anyway? They choose to dance together it’s not a sodding coincidence! Whoever wrote that should be enrolled in Rob’s copywriting school immediately.
Comment by John December 18, 2007 @ 4:40 pmSomebody send them a dictionary to replace the one they swallowed and point them to the word synchronised which is not as arty but is what they mean.
Comment by John December 18, 2007 @ 4:42 pmThe hotel I usually stay in doesn’t provide televisions.
Morning.
Comment by Marcus December 18, 2007 @ 4:44 pmAnd you can book them by the hour can’t you Marcus?
Comment by Rob December 18, 2007 @ 4:48 pmHello John – you’ve been awfully quiet [or should I say ‘well behaved’] lately. Are you lovesick? You should be, Emah looks particulary lovely today! 🙂
Comment by Rob December 18, 2007 @ 4:48 pmTis the season of goodwill and crowded streets. Therefore I turn to synchronous inner reflectivity 24/7 style.
Comment by John December 18, 2007 @ 5:00 pmYou really are scaring me John.
I probably feel how most single women feel when walking down a dark alley and seeing you approaching from the other end. Hmmmmmn, that sounds abit ‘seedy’, but you can take it, ha!
Comment by Rob December 18, 2007 @ 6:27 pmyou didnt have anything to do with that fucking nike shit did you pete? for fucks sake youve eaten my food and enjoyed my drinks. youll be admitting to being behind those hotel bollocks next. if i had a christmas card list, youd be off it.
Comment by andy@cynic December 18, 2007 @ 6:55 pmLet’s touch base on the issue of synergistic content which defines our mobility blue sky solutions.
*bang*
Comment by Rob Mortimer December 18, 2007 @ 6:59 pmdo you like hospital food mortimer?
Comment by andy@cynic December 18, 2007 @ 7:37 pmThe bang was me shooting the person saying that…
Comment by Rob Mortimer December 18, 2007 @ 7:44 pmin that case you can come and eat at my table, petes spot is now free.
Comment by andy@cynic December 18, 2007 @ 8:04 pmAn Andy banquet? That’s quite some food!
Why thank you sir, its an honour to take up the Planner spot at your tabarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!
(that was the special planner chair ejecting me out the room)
Comment by Rob Mortimer December 18, 2007 @ 8:10 pmi invited you to sit at the table, not eat at it. dont get ideas above your station mortimer 🙂
Comment by andy@cynic December 18, 2007 @ 8:14 pmI quote:
“in that case you can come and eat at my table, petes spot is now free.”
Is it eat a common eat occurence for eat you to eat think about eating eat when you eat mean other eat things?
Comment by Rob Mortimer December 18, 2007 @ 8:16 pm😉
Comment by Rob Mortimer December 18, 2007 @ 8:17 pmHe didn’t specify what you’d eat so don’t be too enthusiastic!
Comment by John December 19, 2007 @ 3:22 amfoiled by sherlock fucking mortimer, only to partially saved by moriatte dodds.
Comment by andy@cynic December 19, 2007 @ 7:07 am