The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


A Bunch Of Crap. Literally!
December 17, 2007, 9:25 am
Filed under: Comment

So this is the final full week before Christmas – and the final week of me writing this blog for the year.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to write some ‘end-of-year’ round up … I’ll be doing that on Friday, ha … so as I’ve been away for the last week, I thought I’d just have a brain dump [or just a dump] of things that I’ve noticed over the past 5-7 days.

OK, first of all I have to mention my best mate Paul. Again.

No – there won’t be any pointing of people to any more humiliating and embarrassing photos like this … or this … oh no, this time I want to praise him for buying the most inappropriate birthday gift EVER.

After coming back from a trip to Australia – a trip he DIDN’T take his wife on – he arrived back just in time to give his lovely other half her birthday present.

She was so excited as it was a massive gift, all carefully wrapped up and looking lovely.

“What could it be?” she said as she looked lovingly into her husbands eyes – only to quickly turn into Satan as she realised the gift he’d ‘lovingly’ bought her was a KITCHEN BIN!

Yes, a KITCHEN BIN!

And what’s worse, it was a a ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY QUID kitchen bin!!!

Despite his pleas that she’s mentioned previously that she wanted one, he was advised not to unpack from his holiday as he was going to be leaving the house very soon, hahahahaha!

Putting aside the fact it was a ‘designer bin’ [though why anyone would pay that much for something you put your rubbish in is beyond me] what on earth was he thinking? 

Even Andy isn’t that bad – though he did think Scott Biao was rather cool for once buying Pamela Anderson a vacuum cleaner for Valentine’s day.

And they say romance is dead …

Thanks Paul – I can basically do anything I want now and still not look as bad as you do, hahaha!

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Here’s a lovely photo found by the wonderful Scott 

open but closed 

You should check his blog out – it’s toptastic and I’m not just saying that because he’s working with me at the moment.

OK it is … but hey, it’s Christmas so I’m being ‘nice’. Ahem.

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8am. Shanghai. Another beautifully polluted day!

12/12/2007

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Is this the most depressing ‘Christmas Cheer’ office entrance ever?

What Hell Looks Like At Christmas

It looks more like Satan’s grotto than Santa’s!

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So you go to some fancy pants restaurant that supposedly has views that only god should be able to see and what do you get?

08/12/2007

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the food was shite!

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Have a look at this ad running in Singapore at the moment …

08/12/2007

So let me get this straight – given there’s a golf ball supposedly smashing into the bus shelter and the words WATCH OUT are screaming out – it seems what they’re actually saying is the BEST WOMEN GOLFERS are a load of shit!

Hmmmmn, not in the least bit sexist eh!

I bet $50 it was a load of men who both wrote and approved this shit.  I’m surprised they didn’t go the whole hog and write …

IF YOU FANCY HAVING A LAUGH, COME AND SEE THE BEST WOMEN GOLFERS PLAY IN SINGAPORE.

THEY’RE SERIOUSLY SHIT BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN CHECK OUT THEIR ARSES EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE BOUND TO BE LESBIANS.

GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN BITCHES, YOU’VE GOT THE VOTE, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?

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Write, that’s a nice bit of potpourri ranting for the day.

I have quite alot I want to shout about this week but I promise the rest won’t be as disjointed as today’s post was/is.

Then again, even when I write about single subjects it tends to go off on tangents that even a protractor can’t work out, so at least I have an excuse for today’s bouncing around.

See you tomorrow – it’s nice to be back. Sort of, ha!

PS: Huge ‘good luck’ to NP [not that he’ll need it] for his new job at TBWA.

What with him and Freddie, they might actually be able to live up to their ‘great work through disruption’ moniker 🙂


19 Comments

Well at least your friend Paul proved that he pays attention to what his wife has to say, ha ha . Seriously not many men would remember the ‘stuff to buy’ that their wives keep on mentioning

Comment by bhaskar

A post spanning both genius [Paul] and depression [duh]; a pattern which seems symptomatic for your posts….or is it just me? Welcome back Rob!!

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Hahaha this post is great, the Campbell mind in all it’s greatness in short snippets.

The Satan’s grotto bit and pic made me piss myself.

Comment by Age

You think this is bad – wait till tomorrow – I have corporate ‘gold’ [which may be a good thing for people who read this blog, but certainly not for the company I’m going to be ‘calling’ on, ha!]

Quick Question: How many have not even started their Christmas Shopping yet? Odds on, quite a few of you buggers. Gold. Haha!

Comment by Rob

one question then mr smartfuck, who does the majority of the cooking and pot washing in your house? whose being a sexist fuck now 🙂

Comment by andy@cynic

Eclectic…

I’ve also done almost all my Christmas stuff.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I haven’t bought a single present.

Comment by Marcus

my gift will be only adding 4% to the prices we charge clients instead of the7% we was intending to charge…

Comment by niko

this post reminded me of funkypancake’s interesting slot. rob, i know that means nothing to you, but it’s the only way i could describe it. fucking hilarious.

as far as present-giving goes, this is how it goes in my book: christmas is the perfect time to give stuff you ‘need’ (like maybe a kitchen bin, maybe) but birthdays are definitely for romantic or ‘special’ type things (like not a kitchen bin. or an iron.)

Comment by lauren

Watch out Andy – in his week away it look likes Rob’s been to copywriting school!

Comment by John

Copywriting school? Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Come on Andy, come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!

[OK, I know he thinks he is ‘hard enough’ [and not in that way thank you very much] but I also know he and George are away all of today. Oh my God, I’m sooooo living up to my Italian roots aren’t I, ha!]

Comment by Rob

You act tough now you’re out of arms reach but you weren’t like that last week were you.

“Want a cup of tea Billy?”
“Want a sandwich Billy?”
“Can I kiss your feet Billy?”

You are your Italian mothers son and I’m going to tell my boss on you 🙂

Comment by Billy Whizz

Just a thought, but did your friend Paul write that Women’s golf ad?

Comment by Lee Hill

Lets face it with a best mate called ‘Rob I’ve got every designer gadget under the fucking sun’ to compete with I think a designer bin is an inspired choice.

Comment by BTBB

I’ve also got problems with that designer lemon squeezer. Bloody useless.

Comment by Charles Frith

you didnt answer my question campbell and i do think im “hard enough” except where youre concerned it only refers to my fist in your face which im sure disappoints you terribly. cock. 🙂

Comment by andy@cynic

he only has all these gadgets to make up for his lacking in other areas btbb, just ask jill 🙂

Comment by andy@cynic

Andy he has always had gadgets long before the “others areas” had been introduced to Jill or any other women for that matter! Every week there was a new gadget, his bedroom was like the bloody gadget shop. You see he was earning too much money even back in those days!

Comment by BTBB

i dont understand it btbb. i have more talent in one of my shits than he could ever muster in a thousand lifetimes and yet he still had/has the cash to buy pointless electronic shit, r2d2 excluded.

then he hasnt got more ex wives than henry the fucking 8th to keep in a style they quickly got accustomed to has he. bastard 🙂

Comment by andy@cynic




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