The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Confidence Hides … Presentaphobia!

I am lucky because I am naturally a mouthy, opinionated, loud bastard who enjoys presenting, leading and expressing my point of view.

However I appreciate there are a lot of people out there who find the thought of speaking/presenting in public, one of the scariest things possible.

My mother has often said she would literally die if she had to make a speech in public and she is not alone in that feeling.

The trouble is, fear often manifests itself as ‘keeping deathly quiet’ in meetings – which outsiders can interpret as either being you ‘don’t care’ what’s going on or are ‘worthless’ to their business.  Which is [quite often, ha!] not the case at all.

So how do you get over it?

Well it depends on what you feel is behind the issue … however I thought I’d write about a couple of methods I’ve used to help others get past this bump. [A ‘bump’ that can stop you progressing as far as you should or deserve]

In my [limited] experience, there are 2 key reasons which stop people having the confidence to ‘speak out’ …

Fear of looking stupid

Subliminal intimidation

… and quite often these 2 things are inherently linked.

Do you relate to any of these scenarios?

Scenario 1

You are in a meeting with a bunch of people you regard as bloody geniuses. Immediately you evaluate your own capabilities [or knowledge of a particular area] against there’s and decide you are ‘very poor’.  With this in mind, you spend the whole meeting as quiet as a Church mouse in order to protect yourself from the pre-determined conclusion, that you will look a fool.

Scenario 2

You are in a meeting, again with a bunch of people you regard as clever and knowledgeable about a particular area. You have a question but you are so nervous that you spend ages going over it in your head trying to second-guess whether it is indeed stupid. By the time you come to the decision it is valid, the opportunity has either gone or someone else has asked the question.

Scenario 3

You find yourself surrounded by a bunch of people who all seem to know eachother very, very well. Everyone, except you, seems to share the same viewpoint but you keep quiet because you don’t want to look foolish and think you must be wrong because otherwise someone else would have said something.

Scenario 4

You have the opportunity to present to a bunch of people who are renowned for being ‘tough’. You think of how they could react to what you say and decide its better to let someone else take over.

Any of those ring a bell?

Well if they do, I’d like to offer some little words of advice that I hope – in some way – may help you get over the bump.

 That’s confidence!

Scenario 1

People like being asked questions about them and their thoughts.

So when you have a question to ask, start off with things like, “In your experience, have you ever found …  “ OR “With your knowledge in this field, do you think we could ever see a time where XXX is possible/feasible?” OR “In your opinion, what do you think are the factors behind XXX success or failure?”  

Not only will they feel you are interested in their chosen area of expertise, but the question is inquisitive in nature – rather than making a pragmatic statement – which immediately is less confrontational and more conversational.

Another neat trick is to always relate a question back to something you are deeply familiar with.

I often talk about events involving my parents to to demonstrate a particular issue/feeling/attitude.

Not only does this help others understand/relate to the question you are asking, but you can speak with confidence and warmth because it is something you know is absolutely right.

Scenario 2

If you are scared of asking a question because you aren’t sure if it’s relevant or not – you have 3 choices …

[a] Ask the question and accept you’ll find out whether it is stupid or not almost immediately.

[b] Ask yourself if there is common sense behind your question – does it relate to the conversation / the category / the business / the task. If there is, ask it [it can’t be wrong as there’s sense behind it] and if there isn’t then …

[c] Write down what you want to say, relook at it later, see if you can phrase it in a way that has ‘common sense’ inherent within it and then ask it at a later date/via email.

However one word of advice, when you ask a question … especially if it is a counter-point of view to what else has been said … make sure you phrase it in a non-aggressive way.

No one likes to be told they are wrong or stupid or less informed … so pre-phrase your question with things like, “That’s really interesting, I must admit I have a slightly different experience/viewpoint/opinion … ” it’ll make things calmer, cooler and more free-flowing.

I should point out I am HORRENDOUS at this because I tend to ask people who have said something I disagree with to “Back that up with facts” or “Explain how you came to that conclusion” … but no one wants another me, so stick with the ‘passive aggressive’ method, you’ll get much further, ha!

Scenario 3

This can be very, very daunting … but again … if you have a different point of view the best way to handle it is think of examples that back up your opinion then speak.

The beauty of having examples to back it up is that you are not ‘naked’ and so people cannot accuse you of being totally wrong. Or they shouldn’t unless they’re fuckwits.

I have a simple belief that it is very, very, very hard to be totally wrong in advertising. There are literally tons and tons and tons of RIGHT ways to approach a task – and ultimately the issue is to identify which you feel is the best one to achieve the clients goals interms of money / consumer loyalty / competitive activity etc etc.

And you know what … people who’ve been doing it for years can continually fuck-up.

It happens … we try to not make it happen, but it does … because life is in a constant state of flux and attitudes change – often from day-to-day.

As long as you approach things with the right attitude, put in the hard work, look at issues outside of just your core discipline [distribution / competitive development / cultural changes / media influence], then no one can blame you if the World zigs when you zagged.

Not only that, but it’s never just down to YOU … if it was, you should be getting paid millions … there are many people that make any ‘output’ happen so embrace them, talk to them and work together to achieve the goal.

Scenario 4

One of my old bosses said to me … “Remember they are just human beings too. Be yourself – don’t be who you think they want you to be – and if truly scared, just imagine them sat on the toilet, naked, and as constipated as hell”

Actually this ‘be yourself’ is a big one.

I’ve had many people who are wonderful and warm with friends, then turn into either boring, meek or arrogant individuals when in a business situation.

Of course this is a byproduct of their fear, but personality and charisma is what separates us from the next person – so the fact certain people can quote Business Week magazine or use words like ‘synergise’ doesn’t mean shit – infact my view is that rather than forming a bond between client and individual, it is possibly creating a more competitive atmosphere.

Look I am not saying these are all the answers to the problems of public speaking/presenting … and I am sure there are many other far more professional ways to get over these humps [which probably doesn’t include – as I’m about to do for some of my mob – sending people to ‘acting class’ so they can be more animated and confident in meetings and presentations] … but you need to know you can get over them and you should get over them so if anyone else has any ideas or problems, drop me a line and lets see what we can do to make it abit better for all of us.

If this has been of no use or purely self-indulgent … sorry, my heart was in the right place on this, but I appreciate I can go on and on and on.

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