The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Will It Be A Happy New Year?
January 5, 2007, 2:23 pm
Filed under: Comment

Hello All … hope you are well and had a wonderful Christmas/Festive Season [for the more ‘politically correct’ out there]

I had a bloody wonderful time and I’d have the photos to prove it except my bloody camera decided to have a mental spaz and lost them all. ARGH!

Anyway, the highlights of my trip were without doubt …

Experiencing cold air [trust me, living in Singapore makes it a real aspirational attribute]

Going to see Forest play … and they won 3-0 which was especially nice given they suddenly started losing after that.  [It was so cold , I put on my Forest scarf and realised it was the same one I had in 1979 – still with the name tag my Mum stitched into it!]

Going to see the ‘Aladdin’ pantomime with the quite brilliant Christopher Biggins.

Getting a new Nabaztaz.

Buying bloody tons and tons DVD’s of Television shows that I don’t get to see out on this side of the World.

Being with Jill, my Mum and my mates.

Eating Chips, Mushy Peas and Gravy.

Sleeping … including the wonderful experience of daily afternoon ‘naps’.

Reading. Alot.

Not working, ha! [Yes, I do like my job, but I’d still rather be a slob!]

Having my first proper Christmas dinner for ELEVEN YEARS!

Seriously, it was wonderful and given I’ve not been the biggest fan of Christmas since my Dad died [around this time 8 years ago], it was somewhat of a revelation to me. 

I have a feeling this year is going to be quite a dramatic year for me – and not just because of my stupid ‘answer all’ declaration – but because of I know I have some potentially massive [but good] life changes that will affect me both personally, professionally and emotionally.  Lets see if I’m right.

Anyway, readers of Gareth and Northern Planners Blogs will see I’ve been on a bit of a rant recently – which is a sure sign of me feeling refreshed – and so to prove it, I would like to comment about 2 things that both impressed me, confused me and pissed me off in the last week.

First up – IKEA.

Now I am a big fan of this brand … not because we have an ex-IKEA furniture designer in the company … not because they were a wonderful client of mine a few years back … nor is it because I want to keep my Swedish colleague happy … and it certainly isn’t because I like shopping there … it’s just that I like the way they really understand their customers needs and wants and prove it by adding little elements to their products that make a valuable difference.

Look at this washing up brush we bought. 

Sure, it’s only a brush, but by adding a sucker on the end, it ensures it doesn’t stay dumped in the bottom of the sink – which inturn ensures the germs that lay there find it harder to end up on the device used for cleaning. Genius!

OK – now onto the confusing bit – and it’s a Postcard available in Singapore.

Only here could you buy a postcard that features a picture of their bloody financial district!!  I wouldn’t mind so much except they are doing all they can to try and convince the World there’s more to the place than just ‘Business’.  Mental.

And last but not least, lets give a big round of applause for this fucking embarrassing ad for EQUAL in Australia.

Now those of you who don’t know – EQUAL is a sugar substitute – you know the sort, the little packet of chemicals found in cafes etc. 

Well the idiots behind this ad are trying to say that by buying a big pack of EQUAL for home, you get the feeling of being in a cosmopolitan cafe.  Who the fuck comes up with this shit? 

EQUAL is about as an integral to the cafe culture experience as salt and pepper shakers, cheap paper drink coasters and moving your chair every 2 minutes to let someone squeeze past you. Hell, I have a blackboard in my house, maybe that should make me feel like I’m in a bloody cafe too. 

It just smacks of a client being too influential in the process [not to mention a weak agency] and I just bet they all think the use of charactures makes the brand more sophisticated. Tossers.

Now. before I go … a couple of house-keeping things.

First a message to Mr Rob Mortimer to say I spoke to Andy [who is still on holiday] and he has promised to answer your ‘tagging request’ within a couple of weeks.  Don’t be nasty to him, he’s probably still trying to work out how to turn his computer on again.

And finally, my ‘answer all’ declaration will be answered towards the end of next week so please, please, please ask me some more questions so I can have abit of a choice, haha!

13 Comments so far
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That Equal ad is awful. I mean seriously, beyond awful and into the realms of shockingly awful.

Its taking an overused idea, demonstrating it using poor and dull caricatures with bad writing; and all for a product that has absolutely no relevance to the idea.

Glad you had a good xmas and new year, welcome back!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Glad to see your ‘cynical’ side is coming more and more to the fore. You and Andy will be married by Jan 1st, 2008 – mark my words!

Comment by Rob

Im always cynical, just politely and respectfully cynical 😉

Comment by Rob Mortimer

We’ll soon breed that out of you, ha!

Comment by Rob

Hi Robert, happy new year.
Can’t wait to read your answers next week; especially how much you earn 🙂
Just thought you’d like to know I was at a party last night and someone was talking about Andy. They didn’t know I work with him and they called him, “The Simon Cowell of Advertising. Just Fatter”
Thought that would make you smile.
I believe you’ll be back on this side of the pond soon? Can’t wait.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Make me smile? It’ll make Andy delirious … to him, that’s one of the highest compliments ever.

Hope you’re well, despite being a cheeky little shit – and yes, I am going to be back in the US soon and so I’ll officially ‘deal with you then!’

Comment by Rob

What a fantastic nickname…

Does that make Rob the Louis Walsh or Sharon Osbourne?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

No, he is officially the Bob Geldof of Advertising, unless he goes soft again.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Given I’d rather be Saddam than Louis Walsh, I thank Billy for defending my honour – though in truth, it no doubt has more to do with job protection than really giving a shit about me, ha!

Comment by Rob

Ah. The swearing Irishman…sounds about right.

Id say he was more Sharon than Louis though.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

If you put aside the fact Sharon Osbourne is a woman with a squeeky voice, married to an old, drug-addled Rocker and has 2 rather ‘interesting’ kids, she’s quite the legend – especially if you know the upbringing she had with her monster of a Dad.

So what am I saying? Errrrm – I haven’t the faintest idea really, except I’d rather be a woman with a squeeky voice, married to an old, drug-addled Rocker and has 2 rather ‘interesting’ kids than be that tosser Louis.

About as passionate about music as a popcorn salesmen at the cinema. Ironically, they both sell similar ‘products’. Right, gotta go now – got to enjoy the last few hours of my holiday with the missus. Have a good one.

Comment by Rob

Nice to have you back. Do not assume that deflecting the truth pledge will save you. NOBODY ASK A QUESTION!

Comment by Northern planner

YOU ARE A SHIT NORTHERN PLANNER – but I’d do exactly the same!

Comment by Rob

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