The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Painful Lessons I’ve Learnt #1
December 7, 2007, 7:26 am
Filed under: Potential Darwin Awards

Cat claw

Don’t try and get the kinks out of a pair of iPOD headphones by letting the cable accidentally dangle infront of a kitten …

… a kitten who is standing on a table opposite you …

… a table just above groin height …

… because the mad bundle of fluff will probably think it’s a game …

… a game where she has to jump at the items infront of her …

… a jump that will require her to run full pelt … 

… because what ends up happening …

… is she lands smack bang in your midsection …

… a section where she then rams in her claws …

… because she wants to stay close to ‘the game’ …

… even though in reality …

… she’s digging into a VERY sensitive part of the body …

… a part of the body that will result in her ‘Dad’ …

… never becoming a ‘Dad’ for real.

Yes, this did happen which is why I am now speaking in a much higher pitched voice and have a wife who is wetting herself everytime she looks at me.

22 Comments so far
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That is hysterical and painful. Is Rosie the new Andy I wonder?

Comment by Pete

Thanks Pete … remind me to kick you in the nuts when I next see you.

And as for Rosie being the new Andy … maybe interms of causing pain and headaches, but I hope to god she never reaches his physical proportions or my house will be destroyed once and for all!

Comment by Rob

i fucking love that cat.

Comment by andy@cynic

Rosie for president.

Comment by Billy Whizz

After a traumatic couple of weeks, this post has put a big smile on my face. Thank you Rosie.

Comment by George

Glad my agony makes everyone so happy.

[Especially a couple of senior execs at DDB Singapore who are probably giggling with excitement at this moment, ha!]

Comment by Rob

My girls are now busily writing to Santa asking for a cat like Rosie. Funnily enough their Father isn’t as keen on the idea anymore.

Comment by Mary Bryant

When did all this cat stuff happen? I was only off 2 days this week and look what happens.

Good cat.

Comment by The Kaiser

Yeah, side with the cat you bastard 😉

Comment by Rob

She know’s not what she does. Bless her.

Comment by The Kaiser

Oh yes she fucking does … she’s Satan’s cat

[we share her with ‘him’]

Comment by Rob

You watch WAY too much television Campbell.

Comment by The Kaiser

Or you could replace that with just one lesson:

Trim claws

Comment by Rob Mortimer

What do you mean I watch too much television? Where the hell does that comment come from?

And yes Mr M, the one lesson could be ‘trim claws’ but to be honest the only way my … ahem … sensitive area wouldn’t of been hurt is if I’d taken trimmed her entire legs off!

[I’m being quite melodramatic here aren’t I!]

Comment by Rob

Satan’s cat? You’re barmy.

Comment by The Kaiser

Now there’s a cat that understands that an ipod loaded with Van Halen and ELO must be destroyed at all costs.

Comment by John Dodds

Either that or the cat can use its claws to add some much needed distortion to Mr Blue Sky.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Sorry Dodds, forgot you are an Englebert Humperdink officianado!

Comment by Rob

See the positive things abd thank God every second of your hogh pitched voice life that it was a kitten and not a Great Dane.

Comment by Seb

it should be “and” not “abd” and “high” not “hogh”.

Comment by Seb

Scooby would have damaged your Doodles.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

rob, have you never, ever, in your whole life seen footage of kittens chasing after string being dangled in front of them? not a cat food ad in your entire upbringing? did you not think that it would probably apply to rosie as well? i’m sorry to say this, but, sucked in 🙂

Comment by lauren

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