A few weeks ago I woke up to find my instagram followers had gone up over 1500 in a night.
A NIGHT.
Given it had been years for me to break 1000 followers, something seemed up.
I checked this blog to see if this rise was reflected on here?
Nope.
I checked twitter.
Nothing.
I couldn’t explain it so in the end I just accepted it must be a weird event and carried on with my day.
Except it happened the next day and then the next.
When it reached 10,000 – yes, TEN THOUSAND – instagram contacted me to say I now could access their tools to further enhance my influencer status, including adding a descriptor of what I do.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Because their list of options didn’t feature ‘annoying prick’, I decided to screw with their algorithm and describe myself as a fashion model.
But why was this all happening?
Well a few days later I found out which is why I write this …
To the [literally] thousands of people who started following me because a very famous rock band [accidentally/stupidly/mischieviously] featured my instagram in one of their stories … prepare to be massively underwhelmed with countless photos of my cat, kid and colleagues.
But on behalf of said cat, kid and colleagues, may I take this opportunity to thank you for letting us all feel momentarily popular until you come to your senses and unfollow the hell out of us.