Annnnnnnnnnd I’m back.
Don’t worry, I’m not that happy about it either.
So when I lived in Australia, I worked with this guy called John.
I really liked him … he was smart, fun and an all round good chap.
Only thing was he really, really hated all things British.
Oh the banter we had.
In the end, we played a weekly game of pool and if I won overall, he had to fold up the Australian flag to just leave the Union Jack [ie: “get your shit stars off our flag”] and if he won, I had to salute it.
We did this for years and even though my ‘crowning moment’ was when England beat the Wallabies at the 2003 Rugby World Cup final [oh, how I loved wearing my England top the next day], he never missed a chance to piss on his countries Queen.
So imagine my joy when after 10+ years, he got in contact with me to say his niece was coming to Shanghai for a law firm and would I mind giving him my details so she has someone to contact if she gets in trouble.
To be fair to him, it absolutely killed him having to ask me … but he knew no one else and was forced to reach out.
Being the kind, generous soul that I am, I obviously agreed.
With just one condition.
This.
On Facebook.
Left for 15 minutes.
And the moral of the story?
Don’t fuck with petty half English assholes, with a memory for revenge.
Talking of elephants and revenge, here’s one of my all time favourite ads …
