As many of you know, my best friend in the whole, wide World is a guy by the name of Paul.
I’ve literally known him all my life and he is, for all intents and purposes, my brother.
I’ve written a lot about him on this blog.
I’ve talked about my childhood with him.
I’ve talked about how much he means to me.
I’ve talked about how he has been part of the best moments in my life.
I’ve talked about his propensity for stupidity. [Beyond just being my mate]
I’ve talked about how much I miss not being near him.
And yes, I’ve talked about the size of his penis.
Over the years I have faced a barrage of abuse and derision from those who comment on this blog about this.
Not – I should hasten to add – because you find it inappropriate, but because you think I have some sexual urging for him.
I don’t.
It is true that if I was gay, I’d happily marry him – but I’m not – so my love for him is purely in the friendship sense of the word, though I can’t say his feelings towards me are as innocent.
The point is, the only reason I mention it in posts is because he big ‘down there’ and when I write it, I’m simply stating a [jealous] fact … there is no other reason.
Anyway, to put this tittle-tattle finally to rest, I’d like to provide you with some empirical proof.
A few months ago, Facebook did a video for ‘Friends Day’.
On Paul’s, there was a photo of him kicking a guy out of a concert [he is a part-time security guy at festivals] and the Facebook video showed the comment I wrote at the time.
“Wanted your cock again? He’s only human I suppose”
I know … I know … I’m an immature, pathetic man, but there is a point to this.
You see by me writing this comment on Paul’s Facebook, it proves there is widespread acknowledgement that his ‘appendage’ is huge, but if you’re still in doubt, here is a photo of the comments Paul and I made after I watched his Facebook ‘friend’ video.
See … not only does Paul acknowledge it in words, he does it in emoji’s.
HE HAS A BIG COCK, THAT’S FACT … NOT MY FANTASY.
And with that m’lud, I rest my case while also accepting this might be the worst post in the history of all blog posts.
And it’s only Monday.
Now normally I would say ‘you’re doomed’, but you’re not.
NOT because you’ve grown immune to my rubbish.
NOT because you’re all big and strong.
But because I’m in Tokyo all week so I [probably] won’t be posting until Friday … which is handy, because that’s about as much time as you’ll need to get over today’s mental violation.
Sorry.