When the internet first started, you often found your inbox full of ‘newsletters’ from companies who had sent you stuff simply because you once showed an interest in what they were doing.These newsletters invariably talked about what the company wanted you to be interested in, rather than what you were interested in – which is why they would often end up in the trash, without even opening them.
To be honest, I thought the worst of those days were over, but then last week I received this …
Now, as I am sure most of you know, I don’t drink alcohol.
Nothing.
In fact, not a sip of alcohol has passed my lips since NINETEEN EIGHTY FIVE!
That’s 32 years … longer than some of you have been alive … so putting aside the fact I never showed an interest in this company, the opening 2 sentences of their ‘personalized email’ has 2 major mistakes:
1. It’s not perfect for me.
2. Which is why it’s hard to get hold of me.
So while I like my colleagues and I especially like them when they’re drunk so I have more embarrassing shit to have on them, I wouldn’t buy this for myself – or them – which suggests that the ‘newsletter tsunami’ that I thought had died a long time ago, is not only alive and well … but has evolved to pure business scam, which is hardly likely to make me trust them, even if they had something I wanted.
I can only imagine they were drunk when they put me on their newsletter list.
That or they’re fucking idiots.