OK, I don’t like Gwyneth.
I don’t know why I have that opinion given I’ve never met her, but I don’t.
Maybe I’m just a victim of media propaganda?
Maybe I’m just channeling my loathing of Coldplay on her?
Maybe I’m just a dick.
But her holier-than-thou attitude and pretentious Goop corporation get on my tits.
Recently I saw this ad featuring her.
What the fuck?!
Ignore the fact I haven’t got the faintest idea what it’s for … what about that image?
It may just be one of the most ridiculous images I’ve ever seen.
Are we supposed to believe she is in the throws of laughter while perfectly balancing an unfeasibly small tea cup?
I know her acting gigs have dried up, but I don’t think this ‘act’ will get her very far on America’s Got Talent.
And what is ‘tender’ about that picture?
I’ve seen wrestling matches less contrived than that.
I know Gwynnie is an actress, but I was always under the impression that the best actors make everything seem natural … which means I see more Golden Raspberries in Gwyneth’s future than Oscars.
She must absolutely loathe Jessica Alba.