I’ve written a bunch about my hatred of pushchair companies – hell, I wrote one just last week – but those bastards keep pushing me.
Just yesterday, I saw this …
If you think “The Pushchair” is boastful, wait till you read the body copy …
“Twenty years ago, we designed the World’s first modular pushchair so you and your youngest travellers could explore the World with absolute ease. Iconic, innovative and loaded with functionality, our pushchairs ensure a smooth and smart ride. Built to last, they can be endlessly upgraded to suit your mood, style or journey. Life is truly a great adventure …”
The way they go on about themselves, you’d think they’re selling a Land Rover rather than a fucking pushchair. Yes, a pushchair … something designed to simply transport a kid between home and some other place.
I’m not denying they are good products – I have one for Otis – but all this ‘explore the World’ bollocks does my head in.
Sure, you might take it with you when you’re on holiday but the way they go on, you think they are the tool for every adventurer … from Columbus to Bear Grylls.
I can see it now, Bear is stuck halfway down a mountain … the wind and rain is relentlessly battering his body and he knows he has seconds to make a life changing decision.
Mustering the very last of his strength, he reaches behind his back and after a little struggle, pulls something out of his pack.
It’s an iconic and innovatively designed Bugaboo pram.
He’s saved!!!
By jumping into “The Pushchair” he knows he is now safe, warm and able to roll down the huge mountain side without any fear for his life.
Thank god for Bugaboo.
OK, I’m taking the piss, but they started it with their marketing bullshit.
And if they can be endlessly upgraded, can someone tell me how come they don’t offer an option to turn it into a car when the kid hits 17?
Given the cost of the bloody things, it’s the only way any parent will be able to help their kid buy a real set of wheels.
See, more marketing rubbish from the pushchair federation.
Bastards.