So today is Tuesday.
It is also the 2nd of June.
Now to normal people, those two pieces of information would combine to convey a message of sheer, utter, horror.
Horror that you’re still basically at the beginning of the work week.
Horror that this year is half way through and you’ve still not done any of what you planned.
But I don’t think that way. Oh no.
OK, the horror that another week [for me] is about to begin is there, but for me, June 1st represents the countdown to my birthday.
[I know yesterday should be the official start of the countdown, but I wasn’t here so back the hell off nitpickers]
Yes I know at my age I shouldn’t be celebrating.
Yes I know that the chances of me getting a present I really want is highly unlikely.
But I don’t care … my birthday still gives me a pang of excitement … so while this bit of news is likely to have pushed you over the edge and contemplate slitting your wrists with the blunt ruler that you were given by your office stationary department, I will be spending the next 10 days [my birthday is on the 12th, just to be clear] wondering whether this year will be some of my best birthday years.
Will it beat the time I got my BMX Tough Burner?
What about when I got the snooker table … even though it was a snooker table for dwarfs.
How about the time we went 10 Pin Bowling and then Dad gave us all money to play on the arcades.
Let me dream because we all know in 11 days time, I’ll be sat at home looking at a bunch of stuff for Otis that people [stupidly] think was an appropriate birthday gift for someone WHO IS NOT OTIS.
Jesus, this Monday is depressing isn’t it.