I love metal.
Not the stuff you build things out of, but the music genre.
Now I know some of you regard that as the musical equivalent of ISIS, but I don’t care.
Of course I like other genres, but for me, metal is best.
Maybe some of that is because – as a guitar player – my instrument of choice is upfront and centre, but mostly, I just love the way it reaches inside you and squeezes your soul.
In my younger days, I took this appreciation of heavy rock to an extreme … from having [believe it or not] long hair to wearing the sort of clothes that today, would have you either arrested or considered a homeless person.
Of course nowadays I choose to just enjoy the music rather than live ‘the lifestyle’ but even if that wasn’t the case, I still doubt I would be rushing out to buy this …
That’s right, it’s a heavy metal inspired fragrance.
Now I appreciate other musical genres have done this but it just seems super wrong for metal.
Metal was built on a foundation of rawness and power and this just feels … all pampered and nice.
OK, I appreciate time has moved on from my days going to Rock City on a Friday night, but it seems totally at odds with the principals metal was built on.
Bloody hell, I’m taking this all a bit too seriously aren’t I!?
But I’m not finished yet. Oh no.
For a start, what does ‘BE MORE. BE METAL’ even mean?
It sounds awfully like the sort of bollock lyrics you’d hear on an early Judas Priest album.
Oh hang on, that’s why … because this product was created by none other than K K Downing, the lead guitarist of that very band.
What a coincidence.
On one hand I have to admire his entrepreneurial spirit. It takes a lot of balls to actually do something like this.
However, on the other hand, I have to question his sanity.
Not just because he has entered an oversaturated category where the multitude of competitors spend hundreds of millions of dollars on marketing … but because even if I was totally into the metal music lifestyle, I’d find it hard to ‘buy into’ a brand that was created by a 64 year old man who plays guitar for a semi-retired band, originates from the antithesis of fantasyland [better known as West Bromwich], calls himself K K [admittedly because it stands for Kenneth] and looks like this:
I’m not being a dick, I’m being a realist.
And if you still think I am being prejudiced, have a look at this interview and then tell me if you would want to be seen buying – let alone wearing – this fragrance.
The defence rests it’s case.
Sorry K K. I admire the passion, but I think the years of being hit in the head by your pounding, powerful riffs have fucked with your brain.