3 days after I arrived in the US, I ordered a new car.
This was momentous for a bunch of reasons.
1. It was only the 2nd car I’d ever bought.
2. It was the first car I was going to have after 15 years.
Of course, because I’m a sad bastard, I wanted all the gadgets in it which meant I’ve had to sit on my hands for 4 months while the bloody thing was built for me.
That might not sound much, but for an only child, that is like being sent to Guantanamo Bay.
Well, after driving Jill mad with continual ‘Youtube video car review’ watching [hey, what can I say, I was really excited about getting it], it’s finally arrived.
Actually, to be specific, it arrived earlier last week but typical of karma getting her own back on me, I was away so couldn’t get to it.
I cannot tell you how hard that was for me. Yeah, I know, it’s a first world problem but it was still bloody painful.
Well, not I’ve got it, I am beside myself with joy.
Every time I look at it I smile a massive smile.
Part of that is because I can’t believe it is mine mainly because I don’t think I deserve it.
OK, so you probably feel I don’t deserve it either, but what I actually mean is that deep down, I don’t feel I should ever be in a position to own such a car. I’m not trying to act humble or anything, it’s just that when I think of my parents – both of whom were smarter and better humans than me – they could never of had such a thing so the fact I can reinforces both how lucky I am and how unfair things are for others.
To be honest, this feeling is one of the reasons I insisted we get Jill a new, new car.
Without going into too much, she’s had a bunch of hardship in her life [and I don’t just mean being married to me] so being in a position to get her something she never thought she would ever have, gave me incredibly happiness.
Of course the ultimate revenge is the fact that the moment you drive a new car out of a dealership, it is worth a good deal less than you paid for it, but what some fail to realise is buying a new car isn’t about practicality but emotion.
I’m not even talking about it in terms of materialism or status … for me, I’m talking about it in terms of being a proper adult.
Well, as ‘proper an adult’ as I’ll ever be.
I appreciate that sounds wank – and it probably is – but now I have a family, a car lets me feel I’m able to do my bit for them.
To take them on adventures.
To let us be more spontaneous.
To just go out and explore more easily.
I get many of you will think this is all an excuse designed to try and justify my choice of car – and maybe I’m kidding myself and this is simply a case of me wanting to have a car, especially when I’m living in the city of cars – but I really feel this will fundamentally change the life we are living here in a great way and that excites me hugely.
Let’s just hope I don’t crash the bloody thing …