So it’s Monday.
Again.
Another week of drama and bullshit.
Sat in your little beige cubicle.
Look up.
Look around.
Do you see what I see?
Yes, it’s a sea of beige, miserable faces shuffling between their desk and the photocopier machine.
Wouldn’t it be great if your life wasn’t like this.
That you had a day filled with energy, excitement and edge-of-the-seat nervousness.
Well, I’m going to make that wish come true.
No, honestly I am.
All you have to do is get out your credit card to buy your loved one a gift … a gift they will receive next Monday, so that you can have a start of the week like no other.
And what is this gift, I hear you cry?
It’s simply the most bad-taste, unromantic-pretending-to-be-romantic thing you will ever see and they will ever receive.
What I’m talking about is this:
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK?
And I thought those skinny leather ties from the 1980’s were bad.
Yes, I know some of the people that come to this rubbish weren’t even born then, but trust me, it’s true.
Unsurprisingly, I saw this ad in one of my heavy metal music magazines.
I love heavy metal, but even I must admit in terms of ‘fashion’, the genre lacks a certain something. Ahem.
Anyway, back to my promise.
Simply purchase this leather rose to be delivered to your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend next Monday and I assure you, this time next week you won’t be sat in your cubicle wishing your life would end, you’ll be running from a crazed loved one, wishing your life wasn’t about to end.
You can thank me later.
Have a toptastic week.