Look, I know this blog isn’t exactly the most high-brow blog on the planet.
Compared to stuff by Martin or Paul or Northern or even Doddsy, it’s Vauxhall Conference league.
And then, when you take into account the standard of comments, it ends up looking like a pub team from Slough.
However … and it’s a big however … that still doesn’t explain some of the weird ‘searches’ that people use to somehow get to this blog.
“Weird?” I hear you say.
Yes, weird. Fucking weird.
Cop a load of this …
+ Wheres Wally Rude
+ How To Make Big Fuck
+ Massive Cock Death
+ Harry Potter Loves Dick
+ Reset Bottom
+ Fuckmeauntie
+ Michelle Obama Butt
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
It’s disturbing enough that there is a ‘sexual’ element that runs through all of them, but how the hell do searches like ‘Harry Potter Loves Dick’, ‘Michelle Obama Butt’ and ‘Fuckmeauntie’ end up at my blog???
What bloody posts have I written that the Google algorithm felt was appropriate for some sicko’s search request to link to?
Christ, I can’t imagine how utterly disappointed these people – sorry, I mean perverts – felt, when they ended up on this site.
Imagine looking for some ‘celebrity’ impersonator porn and coming across my face.
Hmmmmn, ‘coming across my face’ was probably not the best choice of words there, was it.
So to the Nottinghamshire Police, if you would like your city to stop being the most dangerous place – per capita – in Europe, ditch the ‘bobby on the beat’ and just get your handcuffs out for anyone who visits this den of depravity … by the look of what’s going on, you’ll improve your crime clean-up rates by about 1000%.