Halloween is supposed to be scary.
This new fangled trend of treating it as an excuse to dress up in anything that takes your fancy is, in my book, both wrong and disrespectful to ghosts, witches and Conservative ministers.
So to try and bring things back on track, I have made a horror movie for your watching pleasure.
I call it ‘The Campbell Witch Project’ and I guarantee it will scare you shitless, but sadly for completely different reasons than I intended.
Bugger.
PS: Oscar nominations will be gratefully – if unlikely – received.
PPS: Keanu, if you’re interested, I do give acting tips. Call me.