I’ve been doing this blog for a long time.
I know that each post I write feels like it’s lasted 100 years, but that aside, I’ve been bashing out bollocks for 7 years.
SEVEN.
And in that seven years, I’ve written 2,167 posts and received – at time of writing this – 51,255 insults.
FIFY ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE.
That’s the equivalent of 20 a day. Every day. For 7 years. Or 2,555 days.
Fucking hell.
What’s worse is those 20 insults have – in the main – come from the same people, which begs the question, am I a masochist?
Now you might be thinking that this is the lead-up to me announcing I’m going to stop writing and ranting.
You should be so lucky.
I know every normal person stopped writing blogs sometime around 2007, but I’ve adopted the strategy of ‘resistance to responsibility’ which basically translates to this.
The longer I write, the more likely I end up being the last blog in the World.
Anyway, I’m rambling. Again.
The reason I started this blog was so I’d have a place to put down ideas, rants and moments of madness.
I didn’t do it for anyone else, it was just for me – a sort of ‘pressure release’ valve.
The thing is, after 7 years and 2,000+ posts, you also build up a compendium of what you think and believe, which is why it’s both wonderful – and slightly annoying – when you discover that something you passionately believed in 2008, is something you now feel totally different about today.
And that’s what I’m going through now.
Something I was a massive critic of previously, is something I now realise was pretty clever.
What’s worse is my change of opinion can’t be explained through shifts in technology or culture, it’s because I was blind.
Yes, I fucked up.
I didn’t do it on purpose and I absolutely meant well, but that doesn’t hide the fact, I fucked up.
Now I know it’s sometimes hard to admit you’re wrong … it makes you look foolish … but I’m too old to give a fuck especially as I’d rather learn from my mistakes than doggedly hang on to them in a desperate attempt to look consistent.
Besides, we’re all hypocrites.
Every day in every way, each and every one of us does or thinks things that fly in the face of what we say or believe.
Big things … small things … the only difference is having a blog means you can’t hide so easily from your hypocrisy which is both humbling, disarming and a little bit awesome.
Now I appreciate without actually explaining what the fuck I’m talking about, this makes even less sense than normal but it’s got nothing to do with politics, religion, economy – you know, important stuff – it’s all linked to how I think and do my job.
The good news for you is [1] this revelation came to me while working on a project, which means the very thing I had slagged off way back when, is actually what I am going to suggest is adopted moving forward [2] the client I have been doing the project for was – in typical bastard ironic style – the very same client I had previously slagging off for experimenting with this approach all those years ago* and [3] this post has reached the end … which no doubt makes you feel as relieved as it does the client.
Dammit.
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* Yes, I appreciate this means I am suggesting my client ‘does what they did previously’.
My response to that isn’t that I’m lazy, but that I’m mature enough to accept when things are good whereas others often tinker for their own ego.
That’s my excuse and I will doggedly stick to it thank-you-very-much.