It’s Monday … I’ve been working all weekend … it feels like months since I had a holiday so forgive me my indulgent little post.
Apart from loving documentaries, I love trashy television.
I’m not talking about my beloved Jerry Springer … I’m talking about a whole host of shows including ‘reality television’, especially the ones where we get to watch human ego have a car crash.
Anyway, one of the things that always bring a smile to my face is when I get to watch a [no] talent show.
On they come … these talentless fools, full of the bravado that can only comes from years of praise from over-eager, gold digging, deaf, dumb and/or blind parents … only for them to leave 13 seconds later, knocked off their self-imposed perch into the sea of anonymity.
To be honest I feel for some of them – especially the ones who you can tell actually love what they are attempting to do rather than the bastards who simply want a short-cut to fame and semi-fortune … however that aside, the bit I love most is the moment just after the initial negative feedback.
Whereas many of us would sit back and listen to the criticism/advice of people who we accept have more knowledge of the industry than us, many of these talent tv fools simply launch into another car crash routine oblivious to the fact that it’s making the situation ten times worse rather than better.
As the title of this post suggests … I blame Billy Elliott.
You see in the movie [I’m not talking about the horrendous musical that Elton John singlehandedly destroyed with his Mardi-Grasesque soundtrack] he was having his interview with the Royal Ballet or something and preceded to fuck it up.
He was just about to be kicked back ‘oop North’ when – if memory serves me – he made some innocuous comment that somehow turned a bunch of sceptical judges into fawning groupies.
In other words, he snatched victory from the jaws of defeat … and because Americans [and the sort of Brits who think Jeremy Clarkson should be Prime Minister] think Hollywood makes documentaries rather than fantasies, they think this is an ‘insight’ into how to always guarantee a positive result so without fail, they adopt the practice, regardless of the history of broken hearts pumped into millions of households around the World each and every night.
Tossers.
Anyway this is just a preamble for the real purpose of the post – which is my chance to show a clip of quite possibly the worst musical duo since Pepsi & Shirley [look them up] though to be fair, as a comedy act they’d be up there with Laurel & Hardy .. especially the yellow shirt wearing Welsh tool who thinks he’s some rapping/beatboxing genius when in reality he’s just a rhythmless idiot with a crap accent.
Enjoy … and be glad these people exist because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to deny our own shortcomings as easily.
