Yes I’m back.
Yes I had a great break and yes, my Mum had a wonderful time and a lovely birthday.
To be honest, I feel more invigorated and refreshed than I have all year – which is a pretty sad thing to announce.
However what this means is that I’m ready to have some fun and while I’ve been away, I’ve been doing some things that have ensured that is going to happen – which involves things as varied as a soon-to-be announced global F1 ‘thing’ and a new way to sell/communicate [in that order] pizza and pretty much everything in-between.
I hope to be able to announce some of this stuff at various points over the next few months, but as much as some people may hate getting back into work, I’m really up for it.
Don’t worry, I’ve not turned into one of these uber-positive individuals, I’ll still be a pedantic, cynical shit … however thanks to the rest, some conversations and the removal of a couple of toxic obstacles [which I can’t really go into, but I am ecstatically happy about, but not as pleased as George, Andy, Jill and anyone else who has had to endure me whilst I’ve been trying to find a way to ‘alter’ things] … I am back on the path to being able to do something about it rather than just rant.
And that has been the big problem with me this year … I have not produced enough. [and I mean ‘I’, not the wider team/companies]
OK, in terms of hot air and idiotic hypothesis, maybe it’s been a vintage year … but in relation to the things that [1] I am passionate about [2] get excited about and [3] want to be judged by, it’s been poor by anyone’s standards.
Yep it’s been an economically tough time – but that’s no excuse – in fact that should of meant I got to do more stuff because companies needed ideas how to counter the decrease in consumer demand.
It wasn’t a totally bleak year – I did a few things I’m pretty chuffed about and have some really cool shit waiting to be announced in 2010 – however it’s not been enough, especially as my friends/colleagues at cynic and Google_Lab have been up to their usual tricks of developing all sorts of weird, wonderful and commercially viable shit.
It’s actually really good being involved with great people who do stuff because it makes you want to do more and be better.
I wrote about this a while back … and whilst I have Sunshine to occupy the majority of my time these days … I still have an inherent need to come up with stuff that impresses or annoys [in the sense of making them jealous] the guys who I have spent the last 6 odd years of my career with.
You see I may be 39, but I still have a desire to ‘do’ stuff.
I don’t want to be one of those guys who ‘moves upstairs’ and simply conducts … I want to ‘create’ … and whilst that doesn’t mean just doing ad’s, it does mean developing stuff people talk about or play with.
I know I have a duty and responsibility to help everyone I work with grow and develop … and I want to do that because it means a huge amount to me … but I also don’t want to spend my time on the outskirts because I also get huge enjoyment making interesting things happen to.
The thing is, at my age, I have about another 4 or 5 years left before adland consigns me to the dustbin … which means I have 4 or 5 years to do what I feel I have to do … and whilst I can’t articulate exactly what it is, I know it involves my ‘socialistic capitalism’ philosophy and talking by example rather than in theory.
I’ve been lucky to have been able to do quite a bit in my career so far – and if I was Paula Abdul, I’d say I still managed to do a few half decent things this year as well – however I’m greedy and want to do more, stuff you know about because you’ve experienced it, not because I’ve told you about it. I know it sounds dramatic, but it really feels it’s a race against time because the older I get, the more I realise I have still to learn and achieve and if there’s one thing my parents encouraged me to do, it’s live fulfilled.
So here I am, formally announcing the end of my creative coma [well, in terms of fundamental execution] and I hope this time next year, I can feel far smugger than my lovely boys and girls do today.
🙂