Despite high crime, high teenage pregnancy, high drug usage and high[ish] unemployment – I have always been very proud of coming from Nottingham.
Or should I say, I WAS always proud of coming from Nottingham till I saw this …
Despite it resembling some sort of building site, it is an attempt to recreate a beach in Nottingham’s Old Market Square.
A beach.
In the centre of Nottingham.
Of course, this comes from a county that once spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on a rebranding campaign to ensure it remained relevant and enticing to national and international trade and tourism and after months of research and consideration, came up with a slanted, letter ‘N‘.
Yep, despite having a whole host of values and characteristics to base their strategy on … the agency [who probably think Peter Arnell is a visionary] – and local Government – decided the key to Nottingham’s future was ‘N‘.
Genius.
Did I say genius? Sorry, I meant twats.
On the bright side, it seems the person behind this moment of madness has been – like all British crims – despatched to our open prison on the other side of the planet, because Age recently sent me an article that talks about Melbourne’s new inspiring branding idea.
Yep, you guessed it, it’s ‘M‘.
Just think, a single letter – that is available to all and could easily represent all whole host of M-lettered cities – cost AU$240,000.
TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!
OK, so the Aussie dollar is the Pacific Peso of international currencies, but it’s nice work if you can get it … and Landor [the guys who had the balls to put the invoice in] seem to get it a hell-of-a-lot.
Jealous?
Yeah – I’d like a heap of dosh dropped into my bank account for pimping up a single letter of the alphabet, but being able to look at myself in the mirror each morning is worth way more.
Anyway, back to the Nottingham beach.
Look, I’m sure creating a faux-beach in the middle of a city made some sense to someone at some point in time – and without doubt it has generated tons of press coverage – but when I saw this video, I think the true enourmity of the car crash potential of the idea became clear …
[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wixuZvxF_1Y]
No, it’s not the fact shitloads of money has been spent on creating the most un-beach like beach in the whole wide World … nor is it the fact that when it rains – and it will – it’s going to make like site of the D-Day landings look a dream … it’s the fact that the moment the place was officially ‘opened’ a crowd of weirdo’s consumed every square inch of the place in the time it normally takes them to pick a wallet.
Seriously, it’s like they have never seen a building site before in their lives … but as I am popping over there next week, I guess I’ll be able to see for myself whether – like Danni Minogue – its better in the flesh.
I won’t be holding my breath.